In God's Hands....

As I walked in circles around my house this afternoon praying for my family who was inside, I turned my attention to my overgrown garden from this past summer.  From where I was standing it was a mess, there was no possible way at this point in the game to get any type of edible harvest out of that disaster of a garden!  As I got closer and really focused on the actual plants that were there, instead of everything else growing up around it, something caught my eye.  I saw the largest, most amazing prize winning Jalapeno I've ever seen in my life!  I couldn't understand for the life of me how in the midst of  all the thorns, weeds, and rotting plants all around it, this pepper managed to continue growing, and became exactly what it was meant to be.  Never once, since July, have I been out there to water it, weed it, or even check on it.  It was left completely in God's hands as to whether or not it would thrive.  And that's when it hit me...

As my children were "quietly" playing in their room this afternoon, they had managed to sneek the baby powder past me into their room.  Here I thought they were playing well and really getting along, but what they were really playing was who could look more like their "Nanna"  (my 95 year old great-grandma).  When I heard them say "I look just like Nanna now!"  I knew....  As I rounded the corner and saw my 4 oldest children completely white from head to toe, I thought, "well that's not anything a bath can't solve."   I told them all to get in the tub, and went back into their room to find a white powdered mess!!  From what I can understand Sweet-pea (2) was standing on the doll house making it "snow."  And snow it did.  Everything from toys, to blankets, to clothes, walls, beds, are covered!!  This is where my anger began to get the best of me and I had to take further steps to not allow that.  So I put the air purifier in there, and locked and closed the door.   Out of sight, out of mind right?  Hardly!

You see last night, my husband and I had started reading the book "Praying Circles around your Children"  together and began praying for our children together.  The book was great and talked about how we will make mistakes as parents but prayer covers a multitude of sins!  How we have to just lift up our children in prayer and that is the most important thing in their lives.  And the minute those prayers left our mouths last night for each of our children, it was like Satan himself stepped into our house and tried to completely destroy us.

Now I know you are thinking "wow all this over a little powder?"  NO, not a little powder.  A LOT of powder!!  And not just this one incident, it has been several recently, this was just the icing on the cake.  The attitudes that came from our children as we talked to them about what they did and there was no remorse, just I don't care attitudes, was devastating to me.

After bath time I made the little ones lay on the couch and the big girls sat in a chair in the corners to think about what they did.  We ate lunch, and then it was nap time.  Two were in my bed, and two on the couch, while I sat in the hallway trying to figure out what to do.  I made three trips back outside and around our house praying over it and my family and asking for wisdom and patience.  I felt my head beginning to explode and tears running down my face, I began to pray even harder!  "What was I doing wrong?  Why can't I get through to them?  Why would you give me this many children when I can't raise them the way I am supposed to?  How am I supposed to be a gentle parent when they do things like this?  You don't know how this feels your son was perfect!"  That is when I saw the Jalepeno....

"Yes my son was perfect but I allowed his blood to be shed to cover your imperfections, the way I see you is the same way I see him, because you are under his blood."

 hmmm....  "I'm sorry Lord, forgive me"

"This Jalapeno was left in my hands to do what I wanted to do with it, and even in the midst of the weeds, and storms I still protected it, and allowed it to become exactly what it was supposed to be."

"your right Lord, I just need to leave them in your hands!  again, please forgive me!"    

The answer was that easy!  I guess I just take my children's behavior way too personal.  My desire for them to have a soft heart and love each other and live for Christ is not something I can make them do...but I can teach them and pray that they will do it.  And  that is what I realized today...I need to pray without ceasing in all circumstances no matter what!!

It's amazing the lessons that I learn from my children's mistakes, I just hope that they will learn lessons from my mistakes as well.  I told someone the other day I feel like I'm walking blindly...well I guess I kinda am, I'm placing them in God's hands and praying that he will help me to be the mom they need, and that in the midst of storms, and weeds, he will allow my children to grow up to meet their purpose in life...Living for Him.

In the meantime, they will be spending the day cleaning up their mess in their room.  In the past I've helped them with their messes like this, but I believe that now it is time they start to learn how hard it is to clean up their messes.

Baby #6 ????

Naaaaa.......Crazy last few days!  So we had our first false alarm this week, we've never had quite an experience like this.  Most people have two questions that they eventually ask us, (1) "are you gonna try for the boy?"  and (2) "Do you use birth control?"  Well here are those answers for the entire world to see..  (1) we have never tried for any child we have, they have all been given to us graciously, and (2) no we do not use the pill.  These two things are very difficult for people to swallow because America is about convenience and it's never convenient to have five children in seven years!  All my life I've heard about having "peace and quiet" and "relaxing" and "having ME time"  and well...who knows maybe this is my way of being rebellious; with five children you don't get any of that, but it's still great!!  So this week I was late...I began to get a little scared because I'm NEVER late unless....  So sent Nathan to CVS and took a test...it looked negative but I could see a light blue line that would make it positive.  So...I took the second one...same thing but a little darker.  So yes...I began to go pregnancy test nutty and bought like one of each type and took about 7 in one day!  All the rest were negative!!  2 (lightly positive) and 5 negative!  I just couldn't understand it!  So I waited till the next morning and took another...negative...the next morning...negative!!  It was making me crazy!  So finally I was able to positively say this morning that we had two false positives and I pray that I never have to go through that again!   What a horrible trick to play on people, especially when it's baby #6 and you have to start preparing right away because 8 people means: 12 passenger van, larger kitchen table, moving the kids into the master bedroom so they all fit in the house....it's a lot of preparation!   I do have to say I did feel sad when I finally found out it was negative, even though life would be outrageously crazy if that did happen again so soon...well it would be outrageously wonderful too to be blessed with another mini-Cooper!  They are all so great!!  However having a little break is more than okay with me right now, but If God decides the time has come for #6 I will be more than thrilled!

So Friday was Hobble-bobble's 3rd birthday!  That girl is just the sweetest kid ever!!  She is obsessed with Veggie Tales; Larry Boy in particular!  We are completely running out of Veggie Tales toys to get her for her birthday's and Christmas!  Hopefully they will come out with more later.  So this year for her...she doesn't get a huge party...we invited a few of our friends over next saturday for a cook out but other than that...we had cupcakes and gave her gifts as a family.

Friday was also the Homeschool Convention.  It was awesome!  The used book sale this year wasn't as great as the last few years but we did get more time to check out all the vendors this year and the last two years we have not.  The girls really enjoyed it this year, they met a few homeschool children who were their age but in a family of 8 kids!  They really liked the music booth where they could try out violins and instruments.  Nathan and I bought a parent package from www.doorposts.com while we were there.  It is amazing stuff!  I've always said that If only I had a step by step program that told me how to discipline for what offense, I'd be great!!  That is exactly what this is!!!  I'm so beyond excited.  It's a book that is split up by offense, when a child lies, steals, is selfish, disobedient etc.. you open it to that page and read scripture to your child about that subject and why it's not good to do.  They also have a chart to put on the wall that tells the child what their consequences are for certain crimes.  We started out doing this today, we still have to work out a few kinks with it but so far so good!  By the end of the day it was "here comes mom and dad with the bible book again!"  lol   but they are getting it and we are able to discipline the way we've always wanted to through prayer and scripture, it's been great!

So today, we woke up early and cleaned up the house.  The girls and Nathan helped me in the living room, and hallway, and then I started on the girls room while they ate lunch.  When we were finished they all went down for quiet time while Nathan worked on tightening and replacing screws on the swing set outside, and I started packing for the pool.  I laid out swimming suits, towels, cut veggies and fruits for snacks, filled up cups, packed a diaper bag, packed clothes and underwear for afterwards, made a bottle and found shoes.  When we got to the pool I lathered the kids with sun screen and they were off!!  Three hours swimming and we were headed back home to play outside!  We ordered pizza and sat on the back porch an ate.  Then Nathan and I laid on the trampoline while the girls jumped around us and we tried grabbing them and pulling them down on top of us to tickle.  Once we got inside it was 8:30pm and I filled up the bathtub for all the girls, washed them, dried them and sent them to pick up toys in their room.  We all then laid in Little Bear's bed together while I read a story to all the kids and then they were sound asleep!!  We wore them out!!!`

Our week has been filled with so much that I haven't even made it to start on my school work that is due monday night by 11:59pm!  I have two days but I'm SO exhausted!!  Monday will be our wedding anniversary.....so we may have to put off our celebration till Tuesday instead.  I'm so thankful that I've been able to have the last eight years with the love of my life!  I could not have asked God for a better man!  I'm so undeserving of him, yet thankful I have him!

~HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!