God's way is the best way.....

One of the things I love most about my husband is that since he came into my life he has challenged me intellectually!  Nathan is the most intelligent person I've ever met in my life!  It was very attractive when we first met; however, when we got married and he would easily win our 32 hour arguments over biblical theology, (when I knew if I had the smarts to get across what I knew the correct way, I would win) his intelligence became completely frustrating!  I loved that he was smart and knew so many things but I hated that I didn't have a fair fight!  After several years I began to love reading!  I started reading everything in sight!  Pretty soon, before I knew it I was pulling out Nathan's old College level books and reading everything I could on the bible.  Before I knew it, we had a fair fight, (and I started to win quite a bit more)!  Of course I didn't completely, ONLY, decide I needed to do this to win a fight, it was more because I realized that there were a lot of people out there like Nathan that I had been running into over the years who would listen to someone who had proper training and intellect and can tell you WHY they believe something over someone who tells you something like "I just know it!"  Yeah, big difference!

My journey to becoming a life-long learner started when I enrolled as a first time student at Liberty University Online in December of 2011.  My intentions in going to college is that when I graduate with my four year degree I will be able to walk up to someone like Nathan and tell them WHY the bible is the truth, not just because God said so but also because there is real physical evidence, and I will know exactly what that is!  In the meantime this journey has put me on the path to other projects.  

When I had my miscarriage last year I went into one of the health food stores in the area.  I talked to the woman there about Nathan's back condition and how we've been trying EVERY form of therapy and medication we could to keep his pain at bay so that we didn't have to go through surgery.  She mentioned that there may be some essential oils that could help his back I might want to look into.  I did a few searches on the internet but let it go because I wasn't able to find much.  I hate that he has to take the medication he is on because while it may be prolonging his ability to go without surgery and pain, it is internally deteriorating his organs and health and shaving years off his life.  I need my husband he is my best friend, my other half, and I don't know how I EVER functioned in life without him!  I need him to be around for our six girls!

After learning this past year that Nathan has high cholesterol it forced me to take a look at our diet and the things we've been allowing in our bodies!  I started reading a book called "Real Food, What we eat and Why!"  It was amazing!!  It opened my eyes to so many things about our eating habits that I never knew before!  While I knew it would be a challenge for me, I knew I had to change the things I fed my family!  The junk going into our bodies from fast food and processed foods was killing us just as fast as Nathan's medications would!  While I knew that going completely organic right away for our family would not be effective because of cost, I knew that making small changes one by one would make a huge difference.  So we started with Raw milk.  Then we went on to eliminating canned foods, and boxed foods and we only buy fresh or occasionally frozen veggies.  I buy a lot of whole chickens, bake them and make my own chicken stock.  I've basically learned the basics of a good diet this year.

This road lead me down several other roads!  I saw a woman post in an online forum about being a Young Living Essential Oil distributor.  I immediately was interested because I knew that there was oils out there that could help Nathan and potentially get him off his medications.  I signed up and completed all the training courses for the first step within a day in a half!  I wanted to lean as much as I could about how these would work for my family!  If I had learned anything from learning about eating healthier it was that God has created all things to work for us naturally and everything just gets messed up when Man interferes!  God has supplied all our needs to help us with aches and pains, diseases and ailments and when we take certain medications that are man made we are trading one pain for another, or one discomfort for a more long-term discomfort.  This lead me to researching and learning all the combinations possible to treat my family!  So far we've been able to treat eczema, ear infections, exhaustion, temper tantrums, back pain, insomnia, and more, ourselves!  Every dose of tylenol, or advil that we take may help to relieve our symptoms for the short-term, but the long term effects it will have on us will end up being significant!

And again this lead me down another road.  I have a fb friend who has been posting a lot about vaccines and what is actually in them.  I have six children who up to now has all had their vaccinations on time and without question.  In the seven years I've been taking my children to the pediatrician I never ONCE thought "hmm....maybe they don't know exactly what they are doing."  Until now!  I've spent my entire night (between refilling milk cups, nursing a baby, and sharing my bed with two toddlers), trying to research the vaccines that I allowed our pediatrician (without question) to inject into my children.  I am walking away from that research completely shocked and sick about what I've discovered!  There is SO many different things I could say about what I've learned but let me just make a few points about it so this isn't a complete novel.

#1 According to NBC News in an article written 12/15/2010 Traditional cribs  that have a drop-side have been recalled and outlawed after more than 30 infant deaths within the last DECADE.

So, because of just 3 infant deaths per year for 10 years, they outlawed these cribs. 

#2   Most hospitals require or even automatically administer the Hepatitis B vaccination to newborns that are 12 hours old.  Hepatitis B can only be contracted  A. From IV Drug abuse, B. Sexual Activity with an infected partner, C. Blood transfusion, or D. from the mother.    (information received from articles.mercola.com) Between 1992-2005 there were 36,788 adverse reactions to the Hep B vaccine, and of these 14,800 were severe, life threatning or debilitating, and 781 people were reported to have died.  This is thought to also be an under estimate of deaths because most babies deaths were reported as SIDS and not as a reaction to the Hep B vaccine.

So you are telling me that after only 3 deaths per year for 10 years they OUTLAWED a crib; yet, after 36,788 adverse reactions within 13 years along with 14,800 life threatening and debilitating reactions, OH and PLUS 781 deaths- We are still REQUIRED to pump this into our newborn children three times over the first three months of their lives!    Does this seem outrageous to anyone else?  Not to mention my newborn will not be abusing drugs, or having sex.  If they ever need a blood transfusion all donated blood is completely tested for any sign of Hep B.  AND mothers can be tested for the HEP B virus to make sure their babies will not contract it.  So with all that in place is it worth risking the life of a newborn to get these vaccines?

Let me just give you one more little fact here I came across before I sign off...

#3 Pertussis: a highly contagious respiratory infection.  It is recommended that your child receive 4 doses of this shot between the ages of 2 months and 15 months.  According to the nvic.org website one of the main ingredients in this vaccination is formaldehyde!

When you look up formaldehyde on wikipedia.org, it states "Formaldehyde is highly toxic in all animals, regardless of method of intake"  they also state, "In June of 2011 the NTP report on carcinogens changed the listing status of formaldehyde from "reasonably anticipated to be a human carcinogen to KNOWN to be a human carcinogen!!!"   SO, they knowing put carcinogens in our vaccines that we are REQUIRED to give to our children?!  So we are as parents have to decide if we want to  trade an immediate solution to a disease that our children may or may not get for a long term problem later in life with cancer?  

My purpose of this blog post is to just put it out there that as parents we owe it to our children to make an informed decision on their health.  I regret that it took me THIS long to check it out myself but now that I did I know that we will be re-evaluating our choices from this point on.  Every decision we make will effect our children for the rest of their lives!  I've totally learned my lesson on the importance of research and knowing what we put into our childrens mouths as well as their bodies.  God had a perfect plan of how to combat our diseases naturally with the way we eat and the herbs he provided for us, why not trust his ways since they have been proven over and over again!  God's way is the best way!   

Finding a new normal...

Don't ask me how I had time to sit down and write this blog post because I have no idea!  In fact I will probably forget that I even wrote it today and have to sit down and re-read it tomorrow because that is just what my mind has been doing recently!  Nathan asked me the other day a question about something and I replied, "I don't remember!" He was shocked and said, "what has happened to my wife, you usually remember EVERYTHING!" This is true, I have the worlds best memory-until I had my sixth baby that is.  Matter of fact it was until I was pregnant for my sixth baby, yes, that was when my short term memory took a huge hit.  I went to take Baby Dumplin' to her six week check up and our pediatrician, whom we've gone to since Pumpkin was born, asked me what her name meant because she knew we picked names by their meanings, I had to shamefully admit to her "I don't remember!"  I couldn't believe it!  But I guess that is what happens when you have so many children.  First it's your figure, then it's your mind! lol

This week was our first week of homeschooling for this year.  We are doing 2nd Grade, 1st Grade and Preschool.  Usually the first week or two is super exhausting, chaotic, and crazy with trying to get on a schedule, and everyone learning what they are supposed to do with each subject.  This year seems even more chaotic than last year since I now have more of the younger kids dominating than I do older kids.  They have been taking over the house!!  At the end of the school day there are clothes pulled out and strung from one end of the house to the other, dishes piled to the ceiling from all the cups they keep taking out of the dishwasher and filling with water, toys thrown around the floor, and there is always that one REALLY bad thing that they do that just sets you over the edge.  Yesterday it was my two year old.  She somehow got a hold of an ink pen and poked holes in their little tinkerbell table and chair set.  but not only did she poke holes, she also had to pull out the stuffing and rip the largest hole she could in the chair so that it could no longer be used.  I've been keeping them occupied with Play dough for most of our school day but if I don't really watch them they will run through the house and take it with them, dropping pieces all over the place.

On top of the little kids being disobedient and destructive, every one of them (baby included) have been whinny, tired, and have been crying constantly!  Since we moved into the new house, for some reason, we have been having a hard time getting everyone to bed at the normal 7:00pm bedtime.  We've had so many extra things to be done around here, it seems we start a project and by the time we look up it is after 9:00!!  So everyone has been tired and cranky, whinny and fussy all week!  It's not like they will sleep in or anything, I could put them to bed at 2am and they would still be at the end of my bed at 6:45am on the dot yelling "daddy, hungry!!!"  So getting them to bed on time is extremely important if I want them to be their chipper selves the next day!  So this week we have been striving to get our schedule back and in the process of doing that we have had to make time for lots of correction, and training!

We are in a season right now where ALL our kids are learning new things, not just in school but here in our new home.  There are many new rules and chores that are being learned and implemented at the new house that were similar yet different at the old house.  Hobble-Bobble (4) has chores now for the first time.  While it is going to be very helpful once she learns how to do her chores the correct way it is taking some time to teach her how to do these things correctly.  Pumpkin, and Little-Bear also have new chores here they didn't have at the other house that they have had to learn how to do- and still learning.  Rules here are similar but there are more of them because there is more space and it's a different environment.  Our school room, which we love by the way, is now more of a classroom environment than it was at the old house when we did school at the table.  Now we have to learn how to sit in our seats correctly, and how to wait our turn for mommy's help with our work.  Pumpkin is having a little bit of a time adjusting to the fact that she is now in 2nd grade and has to do school till almost 2:00 now, while Little-Bear is finished by lunch time and Hobble-Bobble is finished after only an hour.  They see the little kids playing with play-dough and they want to be in on the fun!  I can understand that but they will also get to have plenty of fun once we get further into our school year!  We are just trying to create a new normal for everyone right now and that has to take precedence over unpacking and even laundry at the moment.  At the end of the day if I let the chores of the house come before the discipline/correction, and education of our children I have failed them as a mother.

This has been so hard for me to finally give into!  It seems that in the last few years I have become somewhat OCD when it comes to having the house cleaned up.  I'm not talking about scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush clean but mostly I need everything in it's place!  I'm sure if any of my family are reading this they are going, "WHAT?! YOU!!" Yes me!  LOL  Nathan has finally rubbed off on me after all these years!  My philosophy on cleaning has changed drastically over the years!  When we first got married I didn't feel that cleaning was important, spending time together was most important!!  Then I realized that I needed to keep things cleaned so I can spend time with my family and not worry about the house, now...well now you will find me up cleaning all day long from morning till night trying to keep things cleaned up and decluttered!  It seems the more children we've had the more I have felt the need to keep things cleaned up and keep the house cleaned so we can breathe!  HOWEVER, the more kids we've had the WORSE the house has looked and the MORE I have found myself cleaning!  Since being in the new house it has been a little easier to keep things straight but also harder in other areas.  In the old house I felt like I had to constantly move things around, organize things, clean things in order to make the house not so suffocating.  Here it's not suffocating but I'm so used to doing that at the old house that if something gets messy here I start to panic until I get it together!  I've always panicked as well when people come over.  I used to rush and clean everything spotless top to bottom but I'm starting to realize that there is no purpose to doing that for other people!  I need people in my life who understand that I have to put my kids first, their needs first and that is more important than keeping a home to where you can eat off the floor at all times.  I've come to the conclusion that if people want to judge me by the fact that there are dishes in my sink and laundry that needs folded on my couch then they probably shouldn't be a part of my life.  It is okay to put aside the daily chores of the home in order to take time to teach your children how to act properly, how to have compassion for someone, how to treat their sisters with respect, how to react to certain situations correctly that is what parenting and being a mom is all about.

With that said, I have three baskets of clothes waiting on me and a pile of dishes I need to get too!


       

Living blindly and trusting the Maker

A few months back, we were all sitting at the dinner table eating, laughing and talking like families do, when I noticed that Sweet-pea was crossing her eyes!  At first I thought she was just messing with us and trying to be funny but then I realized that it was ONE eye that was crossing inward to her nose, and it became more frequent!!  Of course as a mother we always think the worse especially with something that sudden, my first thought was brain tumor!  So before even finishing my dinner I went straight to the phone and started googling and calling eye doctors.  We got an appointment for the very next morning.

Being a large family we are late a lot!  I am the type of person who starts getting a bit panicked when we are running late and am constantly saying, "okay get in the car, quickly!!"  Our little Sweet-pea is on her own time clock.  She takes her time and enjoys everything, especially our blooming daisy's in the front flower bed.  Every time we leave the house, she has to walk over to the daisy's and pick at least two!  One for mommy and one for her to hold in the car.  I constantly find myself saying "COME ON, Please we are going to be late, you can pick them when we get back!! HURRY!  Get in the car!!"  Day after day Sweet-pea ignores my every plea!  She has to find the most beautiful flower, she has to pick it just right with her thumb and pointer-finger, then she has to make sure mommy gets it before getting into the car!  

At our appointment we learned that Sweet-pea (2) is extremely farsighted and has an astigmatism.  I was so completely blown away that I had not noticed any symptoms until now!  They say that you can look in a persons glasses and that is how they see without them; lets just say I have no idea how that child could have ever seen a thing without them!!  She has had her glasses for over a month now and is doing wonderful with them.  I'm sad that she will have to have glasses for the rest of her life, but I am thankful that we caught it when we did!  

God has been working on my heart a lot the last few months.  He has really used the waiting period of the house we've been wanting to purchase (10 months) to teach me how to rely on him and not be such a worrier.  I find myself start to panic over things but then I start to remind myself that these things are not in my control, God is in control and he has it under control!  I pray a lot, and then I put it completely out of my mind and focus on something else!  For instance anytime I get any news on the house I start to panic that things won't work out quite the way I hope.  So I pray, and then I put it out of my mind by focusing on what I do already have, like organizing the house we have now!  I am such a worrier and this is such a huge step for me.  Anytime I hear anything about problems with our extended family or friends I start to worry then I cannot get them out of my mind and I drive myself crazy over it.  But God has really shown me that I need to let go and allow him to drive the boat.

Since deciding to have a natural birth this time around, my first instinct was fear!  I was so afraid of the pain and discomfort it would bring and just did not know that I could suffer through it that long! One day as I was thinking about it it was like God told me "if you can trust me to give you as many kids as I want you to have, why can't you trust me through your labors?!"  And it hit home with everything in my life.  Trusting God to decide how many children to have is a HUGE deal!  Most people I know that would be the one thing in their lives that they would want to control, it affects everything from house size, to car size, to income, budget, etc.  But for me I feel that is the easiest thing in my life to trust God with...so why can't I trust him with the smaller things and stop all the worrying?!  

So I started thinking about my Sweet-pea and how she doesn't have a worry in the world!  Here she was almost unable to see a thing in her world yet she still managed to pluck the most beautiful flowers from the bunch every time, and she could have kept them for herself but she wanted me to have them!  She could have cried and screamed that she couldn't see the flowers, she could have ignored her entire world, but she trusted that it was beautiful even though to her it was probably just a blurred image of white.   This is how I see my life now, a blurred image of white that I'm trusting will be beautiful in the hands of God no matter the outcome.  

On another note we are getting really excited about the baby!  I will be 35 weeks friday!  I've had two babies at 35 weeks, one at 38 and the others were induced at 37,  and 39.  So it's anytime after friday!!  I am praying though that I will make it at least to 36 weeks. Since I am seeing a midwife they will not be able to be with me in labor unless I am at least 36 weeks!  I do believe this is the first baby I've had so far that I've not been extremely anxious for the pregnancy to be over.  I've, for the most part, enjoyed being pregnant this time around.  I've been nesting like crazy, part of it is what I talked about above with the whole "take care of what I already have" and leave the rest up to God thing, but a lot is nesting as well!  Here are some photos of things I've made and the organization I've accomplished the last few week in preparation for the new baby!  I've been in Organization Heaven!!!   

Our Medications

 Our Spice Cabinet

 Our Sugar, Flour, Oatmeal

 The girls hair things

 Our homeschool supplies

 Coloring books and Crayons

 Homemade Dishwashing detergent, Orange Multi-purpose Cleaner, Laundry Detergent, and Fabrid Softner!

 New Born hat

   Hats for the girls! 

And there is lots more not pictured!  I wish I had this nesting urge all the time!!!

Teaching my daughter(s) to be Godly women...

One thing that was so attractive to me about homeschooling when I first researched it was the ability to disciple my daughter(s) and teach them how to be Godly women.  For the first 5 years of Pumpkin's life I spent a lot of time lingering around homeschool forums and groups, asking questions, learning the philosophy of most homeschool parents.  My favorite thing was the mothers who believed that their children's education was just as important as teaching their children character qualities.  A number of mothers believed that while their children are so young (birth-1st grade-ish) that no formal education is required, only character training!

While I was completely intrigued by this idea, my personality did not mesh well with it.  These were mothers who could make a learning experience out of everything and that just wasn't me!  My mind does not process life that way, I would love for it to but no matter how hard I have tried it just doesn't come naturally to me.  These amazing mothers can turn grocery shopping into learning colors, and numbers, and addition and subtraction; they can make laundry into sorting games and matching games.  While it was my desire to teach my children this way I did not have it in me to do this, in my mind it was more like "lets get this done" rather than "lets count the socks."  Anytime I would ask questions about teaching my children character qualities I never got many good answers.  I guess I was looking for a formal curriculum, my mind has to have a plan, a written down plan of action with ideas and verses that tells me exactly what to teach them!  So we bought our first homeschool curriculum called "My Fathers World."  This curriculum was so exciting to me because of the fact it incorporated character qualities into the curriculum.  While my children learned a great deal from this curriculum, it wasn't EXACTLY what I had in mind so I kept looking.  

This past fall we enrolled my two oldest in Keepers of their Faith.  It is similar to girl scouts but with an emphasis on God and being Godly little girls.  They also learn fun skills such as scrapbooking, cardmaking, decoupage, etc..  While we loved Keepers, again it wasn't exactly what I was looking for in the Character building area.

So after much thought and consideration I decided I need to just make something myself!  So that is my plan.  We have finished the first week of my project and while it is still a work in progress- so far so good!  My purpose is to teach my children not only character qualities but how to be a Godly woman.  This starts at a young age and with such little things such as learning to take a shower!  To some this may seem silly to go step by step off a page just to teach your child to take a shower I mean how hard can that be!

My oldest daughter is 7 and for the last year I had taught her how to turn on the shower and wash herself.  I had thought that I had showed her enough times how to take care of herself and shower, but for some reason every time I would tell her to take a shower she would end up in a bath splashing water up on the ceiling and all over the floor!  I eventually realized after several nights cleaning up that water that maybe, just maybe she did not actually understand what a shower was for or how to actually take one the correct way!  Instead of being upset with her every time I asked her to take a shower, I realized that she just needed a little more guidance and supervision until she understands exactly how to accomplish that goal of showering alone.  You have to tell a 2 year old over and over not to touch hot things for months and sometimes for years until finally one day they understand; a 7 year old is no different.  I pray because she is 7 that she will catch on a little quicker than my 2 year old but in essence parenting a 2 year old and a 7 year old is the same.  We are here to teach them, guide them, and help them understand life not to get frustrated with them because our teaching has failed them.  So I came up with a plan!

I sat down and planned out a shower schedule for my oldest daughter.  With so many in the family and with her being so little still a daily shower isn't always necessary so we threw around options of every other day, every two days, every three days etc., until we came up with what worked for us. Once that was taken care of we began our first week of learning.  The entire first week I went through how to take a shower, put on lotion afterwards, brush your hair, and teeth and sat next to her every step of the way from beginning to the end.  I showed her step by step how to get her pj's before her shower, her towel, how to hang up her towel...everything exactly the way I want her to learn!  After a week of being supervised and walked through the process step by step I gave her the next week to do it on her own.  If I felt she did not do it right or 'forgot' part of the process the next time I will sit with her but for the most part after a week she had it down! 

Not only did she learn this process but she also learned why we take showers, and why it's important to take care of our bodies.  That is one thing I remember from being younger is I never had answers for things.  I never understood why we do the things we do and as I got older and understood better it was easier to make those things a part of my life.  So we learned that the bible says, "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship." Romans 12:1, and "For you were bought with a price.  So glorify God in your body." 1 Corinthians 6:20, and "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?  You are not your own"  1 Corinthians 6:19.  So instead of telling my daughter you need to take a shower so you are not dirty....she now knows why we shouldn't be dirty, she now not only understands our bodies should be clean but that the Holy Spirit dwells within us and we should take care of our temple.  

This may seem like a silly place to start with her but eventually the cleanliness of our own bodies and taking care of our bodies will lead to understanding why we need to keep our rooms and houses clean or be able to cook our dinner!  

So as we progress with this project it will become available on my blog for others to benefit from as well.  Check lists, bible verses, etc.  I'm very excited to see what comes of this project and where it takes my children spiritually!    

God's little blessings...

I feel like it's been forever since I've written a blog post, I have so much to say I almost do not know where to start to fit it all in in a smooth way; so if this post is a bit scattered (lol) that would be why.

April 25th, Nathan and I went to the perinatal center to find out if we were going to have another sweet little girl, or our first son.  I had so much anxiety about it!  On one hand I have been longing for a boy for the last seven years and my desire for that little guy has not subsided one bit, however; on the other I am so unbelievably scared to have a boy!  I've never had a brother so...having a little boy around would be foreign to me, and a bit scary!  I have thought every baby I have had so far was going to be a boy, so I'm not great at guessing, but I was convinced that this one had to be!  All my pregnancies were different in their own way, but this one had one thing that I knew I never experienced before, an aversion to meat!  Mostly beef!  The smell of it, thought of it made my stomach churn!  I also took the gender prediction test that you pay $44.00 for at the drug store and it said BOY, so I was COMPLETELY convinced that this time we were having a boy!  Imagine my surprise when we found out that we were in fact having another baby GIRL!

Of course I did cry for a minute when I found out, I tried my best to hold it together until we left the appointment but when my midwife came in and started asking me questions I just lost it completely!  So many things were going through my head!  Since before Nathan and I were married I felt that God gave me a name for a boy; I have had periodic dreams of that little boy over the last 7 years and have held him and talked to him from the time he was a newborn till he was five years old!  I felt like God has been trying to tell me all these years that we are supposed to have a boy!  I also had told Nathan I thought this was going to be our last child.  I am over 30 now and I'm tired, I do not like pregnancy one bit and each time I do it it has gotten harder than the last.  Does this mean I didn't really hear God?  Does this mean we are supposed to have more children?  Maybe I just clung onto something that wasn't really from God and said it was??  What was going on??!!  My crying and disappointment wasn't because I didn't want another beautiful girl but it was because I thought I knew what God had in store for me and I was wrong!  I spent the remainder of the next few hours doubting my ability to hear the Lord, and doubting my understanding of what he wanted for me in my life.  Then after all the questioning and sobbing, Nathan says to me, "If you never had those dreams we would not have 6 beautiful daughters!  If you never had those dreams, we would have stopped after 2 children!  If we had the boy after the first or second child we would not have anymore than that.  If God didn't give us this desire for another child that we do not have yet, then baby #6 would be our last, but we can have another!"  His words were so true!

I was then reminded of something I had read in one of Beth Moore's books.  She said that she wanted a boy so badly but ended up with a few girls.  She realized that God had given her an amazing task of raising Godly women!  Made me feel a bit intimidated but I think I'm up for the task!

So once I got myself together and was able to take some time to change my mindset that it was now a girl instead of a boy, it was time to find a name!  Again, another thing that makes me anxious!  I feel like we've already exhausted all the names that we've liked so finding another girl name that held up to our standards was going to be a task!  We didn't want something that started with a letter we already had so A, S, E, T, J, were out.  It had to have a good meaning and also be fairly rare, nothing you hear ALL the time.  So after much searching and rummaging through my over used baby name book, we found a name.

     "Vaerity Cossette"  which means "Truthful and Victorious!"

So needless to say I am extremely excited to meet our little girl!  I'm at 24 weeks right now and the days cannot go by fast enough!

So becoming a family of 8 means we have to increase the size of our van.  We no longer will be able to take the entire family together somewhere.  We currently have a 7 passenger van and will now need to upgrade to a 12 passenger!  The downfall we JUST paid off our van so not having a van payment has been wonderful!!  We've also been on the search for another house.  We currently are in the same home that we purchased when we first got married and have been out of room for some time now.  We started looking for homes back in October of 2012 and did not have the best of luck.  We found a white house we loved, put in an offer and it was accepted.  Thirty minutes later they accepted another offer from someone else!  So we went on with the search!  We found a great house that we loved even more than the last one and put in an offer.  The house was a short-sale and so it was possible it would take a while!  So we waited, and waited, and waited....we received a few updates on the house but never good news, then after a 5 month wait we were told that it probably wasn't going to happen, the bank wasn't being cooperative and we need to move on.  So we looked at another home.  It was a forclosure but a great price, we put in an offer and it wasn't accepted.  At that point I was becoming further along in my pregnancy, so we decided that we were going to wait till next year to "look" for a home, however if something came our way that was EXACTLY what we wanted and nothing less we would go look.  Nothing did.

This week we got word that after waiting 7.5 month on the short-sale the bank has finally promised that they will approve and close on the house within 45 day!

This was nothing less than a miracle!  I was excited but kinda numb about it.  Nathan and I went back and forth about if it's the right decision to go ahead with it, while we thought it was perfect for our family we did become content with not moving this year!  I don't want a larger home JUST because it would be more comfortable, or just because we want it, I want it to be God's plan for us!  So after lots of praying we decided to go ahead and resubmit our offer, and if it is God's will things will go smoothly and work out well...if it is not it will fall apart and either one will be fine with us.  So we will be praying and would love others to pray for us through this as well!

In the meantime, we found out the news about the house while we were on vacation.  We had planned to go on vacation with Nathan's family this year but because of our time constraint with the pregnancy and not being able to travel after the second week in July we had to go ahead and go ourselves before then.  The only thing available was Massanutten, which turned out to be a lot of fun with the girls!  We visited the water park, got to ride ponies, went fishing and just had fun together as a family.  I'm so thankful that we are able to give our children fun family memories like this!  I hope they will cherish them forever!!

Baby Cooper #6

So as most of you have just found out, we are expecting baby #6!!  Nathan and I found out in December right after I had my 3rd miscarriage last year.  I wanted to keep it quiet until I knew everything was okay so we decided until I have an ultrasound and see the heart beating no one can know.  It was so hard to keep it quiet that long, every time I am pregnant I want to yell it from the roof tops and celebrate, but I just was a bit hesitant after so many losses last year.

I decided that this time I would go with a midwife instead of an OBGYN.  All the others I had with an epidural and under a doctors care, but this time I wanted something that was a little more fitting to my lifestyle.  I visited a local midwife about a month ago and absolutely loved them!! I had my first actual visit on Tuesday for an ultrasound and she spent at least 2.5 hours with me, just making sure I had all my questions answered, doing the ultra sound, and talking with my family.  It was seriously the best experience with a medical professional I've ever had in my life!  We brought all the girls to the appointment, she was very kind and told me how it doesn't bother her at all and how she has 4 kids herself!

When we went in for the ultrasound I finally told the girls why we were there.  I explained to them that God put another baby in my belly and that we were there to make sure the baby is healthy!  They were ecstatic!!  And were even more excited that we got to see the baby!!  The baby looked healthy, had two feet buds, and two arm buds, and a beating heart!

After seeing this I felt like I could breathe a bit.  I had been on edge for the entire 8.5 weeks expecting that something would happen at any minute.  While we aren't still out of the woods yet I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore.  The baby was alive and well and deserved to be celebrated!!  So I formed a plan to announce the baby.  I've learned over the previous 5 babies that any baby over 2, and our families tend to show concern.  Each pregnancy after 2 they had legitimate concerns that we could financially handle things, or maybe we should get a larger house and while those are legitimate concerns, these things are the easiest for me to trust God for.  God has always allowed us to have enough money to pay all our bills, plus extra, God has always provided clothes for our children, diapers when needed, and food.  God will also provide us with a larger house when its His timing.  So for me those things aren't important because God controls all that anyways, just like he controls how may children we will have.  So in order to get our families past those concerns I've learned that we have to announce the pregnancy in an exciting way!  So this time I decided to send flowers with a balloon to the grandma's at work that said "congratulations"  Then on the card I wrote "Congratulations on grandbaby # 17 (11), Due 9/6/13.  Love Nathan, Toneka, and The Minicoopers.

Overall our response was great!  I think everyone was pretty excited to have another little one on the way!  Especially our girls!

The baby is due on Nathan's birthday!  Which is very exciting!  So we will be spending the next 7 months trying to find a new house, and a 12 passenger van!!    So prayers that God's timing will come soon!!! ;)

Mamma Do you Love me????

I woke up this morning and my first priority was to get my house in order.  I have been working non-stop for weeks trying to get things back in order, and re-arrange the girls rooms.  They were all in the same room for a while and we separated them into two rooms.  Of course when we did that everything from cleaning out their rooms made it into my room and into the living room and the rest of the house became a good mix of chaos, then add that to the 13 days I was at the hospital with my dad last month that hasn't gotten caught up yet and we have ourselves a little nightmare!!

I've been studying about the New Testament in my Bible 110 class I'm taking through Liberty University.  I am a Religion major so I'm loving the bible class!  The last few weeks though I've been noticing that Simon-Peter, one of Jesus' disciples has been really sticking out to me!  Now, last year I wouldn't have been able to tell you any of what I'm about to tell you about Simon-Peter because I didn't know anything about him, except that he was a disciple.  But just stick with me through this and you will get where I'm going with all of this.

  First of all (just a few things you need to know) he does not listen very well, but has a strong personality.  Jesus called to him three times before he committed to following him.  When Simon first came to Jesus, he was actually brought to him by Andrew...he didn't willingly go in search for Jesus, but when he found him he responded to the call of Salvation, Jesus right away changed his name from Simon (which means listener) to Peter (rock).  Simon was FAR from a listener, and seems to be a stubborn man which I believe is why Jesus gave him the name Peter.  (John 1:42)

The second calling to Peter was when he and Andrew was in their boats casting their nets.  Jesus tells him to come and follow him, asking him to commit to service.  He told him he would make them fishers of men.  (Mark 1:16-17)

The third calling was in Luke 5:1-11.  Peter had been out fishing all  night casting his nets and he had pulled everything in and was ready to quit when Jesus told him to head back out and cast out his nets.  Keeping Peters personality in mind (not being a listener, but stubborn) replied back to him, "Master we have toiled all the night and have taken nothing, nevertheless at thy word I will let down the net."  Notice Jesus told him to let down all the nets, but Peter (and I can imagine him being a little grouchy and irritated from being up all night fishing) said he would let down THE NET.  ONE net!  After he let down his net they caught so many fish that their boat started to sink. Peter then fell at Jesus feet and called him LORD.  This was when Peter finally committed himself to Christ.

So today I decided was the day to move around my bedroom, box up a bunch of boxes for storage, get out the clutter, and I had plans to just work hard on my room!  My room is the catch all, if people are coming over everything gets put in my room, if the kids come in here so do their toys, if we don't have a place for things, guess where it ends up!  So it was time to take back my room!!  I started at 9am picking up all the stuff off the floor, then moving my bed to the other side, then the dresser, and then I had to put it all away.  About half way through I found myself looking around wondering if anyone would notice if I just left it that way and didn't finish!  lol  It was a disaster!!

During my cleaning session the kids were kinda doing their own thing.  PBS kids was on the TV, a couple of them were in Pumpkin's room playing, then they would go back to watching tv, the baby would wonder in my room and love on me then she would head back out.  Sweet-pea kept coming in  and I would just tell her to not touch things, then scoot her on out the door so I could get finished.  Around lunch time I got them lunch and they ate while I continued working on my room.  I just kept saying "I have got to get this done today!!"  Nap time came and I put the kids in their beds and told them to stay, and again I went back to cleaning and packing and putting things away.

Around 4:00 (7 hours into my project) the kids were again playing and romping around in their rooms and in walked Sweet-pea again.  She walked right up to me and said "mamma do you love me?"  At first I was taken back by what she said and was a little surprised and said, "Of course Sweet-pea, I love you!"  Then she looked at me again and said "MAMMA  do you love me?"  Again I said "yes baby I love you!"  Then again she repeated, "MAMMA DO YOU LOVE ME?"  at this point I was puzzled and changed my reply to "Honey, I love you with all my heart!!"  She said, "with all your heart!" and walked out!

I couldn't get this out of my head the rest of the day.  I kept thinking about when Jesus asked Peter if he loved him, in my head but then I'd just push it aside and thought, she was just being cute.  So tonight after the girls went to bed I did my school.  I was about to go to bed when I heard in my head "Mamma do you love me?"  I began to think about our life the last few months and how hectic it has been.  I've gotten in that mode again where I have a mission to get something done and  I do it and just kinda go through the motions of making dinner, and lunch, and changing a diaper then getting back to what needs done for the day while the kids are occupied.  But I kept thinking about Peter!!

In John 21:15-17 it says " When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."  Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."  The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep."

The first time Jesus asked Peter "do you truly love me" he used the greek word "agapao" which is normally used to describe the type of love that God has for us, it's a unconditional love, a committed love.  But Peter replied  "Lord you know that I "phileo" you!"  Which is a brotherly love.  Peter was also referring to the fact that he had denied Jesus three times when he was crucified, so he probably was thinking  "what is he thinking asking me if I am capable of loving him this way look what I did!"  Again Jesus asks "Do you "agapao" me?"  And again Peter Responds "Yes Lord you know that I "phileo" you!"  then the last time he says "Peter do you "phileo" me?

Picturing this conversation I can see Peter feeling taken back by the question the first time, feeling a little shocked that he asked him that.  Then the second time I'm sure he was getting frustrated, and then finally when Jesus changed the way he said it Peter was beyond frustrated.  Looking back it took Peter three time to actually commit to following Jesus, three times he denied him, and three times he was told if you love me feed my lambs, take care of my sheep, feed my sheep.  If you love me you will obey my commandments!    GO, bring in the sheep, feed the sheep pastor the sheep!

When my dad was in the hospital an old friend came up to visit who had recently started a church.  He and his wife have five children as well, most in college.  I had a few minutes to visit with him and so I asked how the church was coming along.  He told me that it was doing great and they have a steady number, but it was on the smaller side.  He told me that God had really put on his heart that growing a church was the same as raising his children, he had to invest in the hearts of the people in his church the same way he had to invest in the hearts of those children.

So this evening when my baby looked at me and asked "Mamma do you love me?"  She was asking me if I was invested in her heart!  Will I lead her, fill her with God's word, and guide her along the right paths in her life?  I've been so convicted recently about parenting with a gentle spirit and when we discipline to discipline by address the problem in their hearts not the outward problems, so when she said to me what she said It just completely blew me away!  I get so busy sometimes and I don't realize that I just shoo them along, and I don't realize that I haven't sat down and snuggled with them today.  So while yes we should be a light to the world, we should bring in the sheep, fill them with God's word, and pastor them....we can't let our children get lost in the herd.  Sometimes things get so chaotic that we don't realize that they haven't had that mommy time or daddy time today.  Lead, pastor, and fill your children, their hearts are crying out for it...I know my children are.  Tomorrow we are going to have lots of snuggle time!!

In God's Hands....

As I walked in circles around my house this afternoon praying for my family who was inside, I turned my attention to my overgrown garden from this past summer.  From where I was standing it was a mess, there was no possible way at this point in the game to get any type of edible harvest out of that disaster of a garden!  As I got closer and really focused on the actual plants that were there, instead of everything else growing up around it, something caught my eye.  I saw the largest, most amazing prize winning Jalapeno I've ever seen in my life!  I couldn't understand for the life of me how in the midst of  all the thorns, weeds, and rotting plants all around it, this pepper managed to continue growing, and became exactly what it was meant to be.  Never once, since July, have I been out there to water it, weed it, or even check on it.  It was left completely in God's hands as to whether or not it would thrive.  And that's when it hit me...

As my children were "quietly" playing in their room this afternoon, they had managed to sneek the baby powder past me into their room.  Here I thought they were playing well and really getting along, but what they were really playing was who could look more like their "Nanna"  (my 95 year old great-grandma).  When I heard them say "I look just like Nanna now!"  I knew....  As I rounded the corner and saw my 4 oldest children completely white from head to toe, I thought, "well that's not anything a bath can't solve."   I told them all to get in the tub, and went back into their room to find a white powdered mess!!  From what I can understand Sweet-pea (2) was standing on the doll house making it "snow."  And snow it did.  Everything from toys, to blankets, to clothes, walls, beds, are covered!!  This is where my anger began to get the best of me and I had to take further steps to not allow that.  So I put the air purifier in there, and locked and closed the door.   Out of sight, out of mind right?  Hardly!

You see last night, my husband and I had started reading the book "Praying Circles around your Children"  together and began praying for our children together.  The book was great and talked about how we will make mistakes as parents but prayer covers a multitude of sins!  How we have to just lift up our children in prayer and that is the most important thing in their lives.  And the minute those prayers left our mouths last night for each of our children, it was like Satan himself stepped into our house and tried to completely destroy us.

Now I know you are thinking "wow all this over a little powder?"  NO, not a little powder.  A LOT of powder!!  And not just this one incident, it has been several recently, this was just the icing on the cake.  The attitudes that came from our children as we talked to them about what they did and there was no remorse, just I don't care attitudes, was devastating to me.

After bath time I made the little ones lay on the couch and the big girls sat in a chair in the corners to think about what they did.  We ate lunch, and then it was nap time.  Two were in my bed, and two on the couch, while I sat in the hallway trying to figure out what to do.  I made three trips back outside and around our house praying over it and my family and asking for wisdom and patience.  I felt my head beginning to explode and tears running down my face, I began to pray even harder!  "What was I doing wrong?  Why can't I get through to them?  Why would you give me this many children when I can't raise them the way I am supposed to?  How am I supposed to be a gentle parent when they do things like this?  You don't know how this feels your son was perfect!"  That is when I saw the Jalepeno....

"Yes my son was perfect but I allowed his blood to be shed to cover your imperfections, the way I see you is the same way I see him, because you are under his blood."

 hmmm....  "I'm sorry Lord, forgive me"

"This Jalapeno was left in my hands to do what I wanted to do with it, and even in the midst of the weeds, and storms I still protected it, and allowed it to become exactly what it was supposed to be."

"your right Lord, I just need to leave them in your hands!  again, please forgive me!"    

The answer was that easy!  I guess I just take my children's behavior way too personal.  My desire for them to have a soft heart and love each other and live for Christ is not something I can make them do...but I can teach them and pray that they will do it.  And  that is what I realized today...I need to pray without ceasing in all circumstances no matter what!!

It's amazing the lessons that I learn from my children's mistakes, I just hope that they will learn lessons from my mistakes as well.  I told someone the other day I feel like I'm walking blindly...well I guess I kinda am, I'm placing them in God's hands and praying that he will help me to be the mom they need, and that in the midst of storms, and weeds, he will allow my children to grow up to meet their purpose in life...Living for Him.

In the meantime, they will be spending the day cleaning up their mess in their room.  In the past I've helped them with their messes like this, but I believe that now it is time they start to learn how hard it is to clean up their messes.

Meningitis, Rabies, Strep....lessons from God...

My last post was only 13 days ago and so much has gone on since then, it feels like it's been over a month at least!  So last I wrote Pumpkin wasn't feeling well, she had gotten bitten by our hamster and then the hamster died and she came down with a fever, vomiting and sore neck.  After trying to make her comfortable all night long, she was still screaming in pain from her neck and stomach.  I waited till 8am and called our pediatrician to get an appointment.  The earliest they could get her in was 11am, but she was laying on the floor and had endured pain all night long I didn't think I could make her wait any longer.  So I put her in the car and took her to Patient First.

When the doctor came in she asked me what was going on.  I told her she had gotten bit by the hamster on Thursday, the hamster was dead Friday morning, and Pumpkin came down with a fever friday night.  She was vomiting, had a high fever, pain in her neck, and stomach pain.  The doctor asked what the hamster died from, I told her the pet store told us "wet tail."  So she said she would go research it and get back to me.  She was gone about five minutes when she came back and told me that she thought Pumpkin may have gotten meningitis from the hamster.  She did not examine her at all, did not look in her throat, did not look in her ears, did not feel her neck nothing!  She then gave me a note and sent us to the ER.

Once at the ER, the first thing they did was ask her to touch her chin to her knee, which she did, and they said she wouldn't be able to do that if she had meningitis so that was ruled out.  So then they said their main concern is that she could have rabies!!  WHAT!!  Pumpkin had tons of scratches from the kitten on the tops of her hands, and they started questioning me about the kitten.  They wanted to know if it had it's shots yet.  I told them we actually had an appointment this morning but we ended up there instead.  So they started saying that we need to give her shots for rabies.  They said that if she was exposed to it, they can only treat it within the first 10 days and after that there is nothing they can do for her.  So I started panicking a bit.  But as I stood there and prayed asking God what to do, it dawned on me that I too had cat scratches on my arm and I wasn't sick!  If we did the rabies shots for Pumpkin it would be like 15 days of shots!  So I told them I was pretty sure it wasn't rabies because I would be sick too!

They ended up calling the health department because they said they have to report animal bites.  They said that they were going to come and get the cat and keep him for a while to make sure he didn't have rabies.  I asked why they reported the cat because it wasn't a cat bite it was a hamster bite.  They said the health department wasn't worried about the hamster, just the cat scratches.  FINALLY they stopped worrying about the animals and actually examined Pumpkin.  They felt her neck which had lumps all around it and she had puss on her tonsils.  She ended up testing negative for strep, but they said it was strep because of the symptoms.

I was pretty angry that they had me in fear all day long that my child was dying from meningitis and rabies, when if they had checked her in the first place they would have found out that she was just sick with a virus.

By the time I got home the health department had been here, they dug up the hamster and took it for testing. They said they weren't worried about the cat at all!  When I got inside the house I gave Sweet-pea a hug to discover she had a fever!  And later that night I ended up at Kid med with her and Goobies.

As usual they all passed it around and were sick for about a week or two.  They had ear infections and were all on antibiotics.  I asked the doctor when I was there, if this could be happening so much this year because maybe I'm not cleaning something good enough?  He said they are all inner ear infections and cannot be caused from any type of germ, it if from their ear tubes not developing correctly yet.

So, last week was my last week of summer classes.  I really enjoyed my bible and evangelism class.  I learned two important things in those classes that have already really helped me quite a bit.  #1: being humble is always viewing everyone else as better than you.  #2 trusting the Holy Spirit to work, will usually result in better results than if we do it ourselves.

I think having a large family has really made me insecure.  I always feel the entire world is always waiting to pounce on me.  We've had so many rude comments about the size of our family, and feel like people are just waiting to prove that I'm a bad mother for some reason.  I feel even more pressure to make sure they are clean, well dressed, well educated, and well loved because I feel like people think that large families like ours  neglect their children.  I have problems with thinking that people are always trying to think they are better than me, or that they think they are more spiritual than me.  Not that I think I am more spiritual or better than them, but it makes me feel like I have to strive to be even better, if that makes since.  So, if I can just think that everyone IS better than me, then it makes things so much easier, and takes so much more pressure off!

Also this week I've learned a great lesson on giving my problems over to God and trusting him to take care of things.  Nathan and I have been looking for a new house.  We are planning to rent our our house and buy a new one. We were not sure we would be able to qualify for a loan to do this but after applying and giving it over to God, we DID!!  We found a house that would be perfect for us, but then the house would not qualify for the type of loan we have to get for our situation.  So we are still looking.  Also last week was the last week of my summer classes.  I worked day and night, and into the mornings trying to finish up 3 weeks in 3 classes.  My professors had extended the courses till Sunday but I still finished on Friday!  Saturday I saw that my Evangelism professor gave me a ZERO for my discussion board because she said she could not accept late discussion board work.  I was so shocked seeing as how she told me that she removed the due dates for all my assignments and just keep her informed on my progress.  When I messaged her about it she said that she would give me a 70 for the misunderstanding but that's all.  She ended up forwarding the issue to her supervisor to make a decision.  I prayed and gave it to God!  Sunday She messaged me back and told me that since my final grade will be an "A" anyways her supervisor wasnt too concerned about it.  I was so relieved!  I too told her then I wasn't worried about it as long as I get an "A".  So...I have finished two semesters so far with a 4.0 GPA!

Monday was the first day of my fall classes.  This time I'm taking American History and another Math class.  Things are going well for us right now and look to be on the upswing.  We are very excited about the next few weeks!  Pumpkin & Little Bear started Upword cheerleading monday.  They LOVE IT!  I can't get Pumpkin to take off her uniform!  Nathan's parents are moving their Jewelry store into a new location downtown in the James Center on the 1st of September!  We are very excited about that!  And we are going on Saturday to look for some more houses.  We are praying that the right house will come along.  We are in desperate need of more space!!  We have a 1,000 square foot house for the seven of us right now and really need something bigger!  We are also getting things cleaned up and organized and ready to start homeschooling this fall, in about two more weeks!  We are so ready to get back on a good schedule!!

Catching up with an update!

Wow so almost a month of me being silent on the blog!  This must not happen again!   ;)  I am beyond happy that the month of Haties, Oh,  I mean June, if finally over!  Looking back I feel like ti flew by but yet in the midst of it, it felt like it would never be over!  We did get through that crazy 30 days of birthday's, uncelebrated anniversaries, homeschool convention, two weeks of 4 classes that overlapped instead of just 2 classes like normal, and SICK KIDS!!  However, we are still battling sick kids! 

All five kids, as well as Nathan and I have had ear infections, sinus drainage, sore throats, croup, and lots of sleepless nights!  Seeing as how my kids do not go many places except the swimming pool which is so loaded with chlorine to kill germs I can smell it from my car, I'm pretty convinced that it is a result of this bipolar weather we've been having.  Every-time it has gotten hot, then dropped down in the 70's, my kids are sick the next day!  People have told me for the last several years to go out and get an air purifyer!  They tell me that if my kids have allergies (which is what it seems like it is) then that is the way to go!  So I went out the other morning to lowes and bought a new vacuum with a hepa filter.  This sucker is like a space ship!  First of all I've never spent over 60.00 on a vacuume (maybe the reason we have to buy one every 6 months) so I feel like this thing should be able to take me to the moon and back!  It's an electrolux from lowes.  Since it was on sale I didn't feel that horrible for paying so much, but in reality I have paid this much in prescriptions in the last three weeks so hopefully this will help lower that cost; not to mention I better not have to buy another vacuum the rest of my life!  While I LOVE how it pulls the carpet up and the carpet feels so clean after, it does give my arm an amazing work out since it's heavy a sin! 

I also decided that while it's great that when I vacuum we can reduce the dust being thrown into the air, we should also reduce that at all times anyways!  So I bought us an air purifyer.  So far I love it!  I can't say I've seen many results so far as sickness from it yet (I'm hoping that is because we've already inhailed whatever we have), but hopefully it will help with later viruses and allergies!  It does make the house smell fresher, which I love!! 

So I believe this is our last week of Swimming practice.  Pumpkin will have her last meet on Monday, and then they have championships next week, but I don't think Pumpkin will be able to go to those.  I will not miss getting up at 7am and running her to the pool every day, but I know she will miss it dearly!! Swimming has become her favorite thing to do!  She would be at that pool swimming all day long, every day If I let her!  But I'm looking forward to everyone getting well and us being able to enjoy the pool during the day instead of having to lay around the house and get well! 

Normally I will only let the girls do one thing at a time so far as an extra curricular activity.  Little Bear has been talking about how she wants to be a cheerleader, and so has Pumpkin!  Usually in the fall Little Bear does dance, but this year the dance schedule does not really go with our schedule so I think we may take a break from it.  I've been looking into Upward cheering.  It starts in late August/Oct, and I think it will be great that it is something the girls could do together finally!  They love the though of doing things together but they have never found something they both enjoy together!  Pumpkin wasn't much of a ballet person, and Little Bear doesn't like swimming much, so hopefully this will be a happy medium! 

I've been working a lot on school the last few weeks with having so many classes that have overlapped!  It was a huge challenge but I did it!  I did whine and complain about it quite a bit but I pushed through and got everything done!  I just pray that I get a good enough grade on my English essay to keep an A!  I was 1 point away from a B when I turned it in so it will either help me a lot or hurt me a lot!  Yes a B isn't bad but I really would LOVE to keep my straight A status I've been able to accomplish as of right now. If I'm going to pay all this money for an education, I'm going to get smart not just get the diploma!  I also feel like I need to prove to myself that I am smart and can do anything I want!  I've always had so many doubts about myself so far as my intellect, and I'm ready to change that!  Right now I'm taking an Evangelism class, Bible Class, and Math Class.  The Math has been a challenge for me so far!  I have really had to work on this class a lot in order to maintain the A I have in there.  It has been frustrating and challenging and I can't wait to be done with the next 2 math classes I have to finish after this one!  My evangelism class has been pretty easy so far!  I can finish my work for this class in a few hours and I have an A so far.  I have been looking forward to the end assignment which is to lead someone to Christ!  I just hope that God will lead me to someone who will be willing to listen!  Bible has been my favorite!  I have learned so much about reading the bible that I didn't realize before!  I feel like my eyes have been opened to so many things, and I am looking forward to really getting into more of my bible classes!!

So while my main major is in Religion right now, I have been eyeing the paralegal degree.  I found out by one of my advisors that when you get a BS in something, there are so many electives that you have to take for that degree that you can actually get an entire degree in something else just with the electives!  So that is what I'm planning!  I still have to call and confirm that it can be done the way I've planned but by the time I graduate with a BS in religion I will also have a BA as a paralegal!  Why not kill two birds with one stone!

My goals with what I'm going to do with my degree have changed a lot since I first enrolled!  I origionally wanted to go so that I could eventually go to nursing school.  After checking into nursing school I realized that there would be no way for me to do that AND be a full time homeschooling mom that I want to be.  Being a mom to my girls is way more important than school to me.  Maybe in a few years we will be able to take more nursing courses online and it will become possible for me to do this but right now it's not.  Then I thought...Of course...Business!  That would help me with anything I decide to do!  But for me...business is boring!  I would absolutely HATE it!  I have to do something I want to learn about and I'm passionate about.  The first thing I'm passioate about is GOD!  I love God, and there is nothing on earth I would love more than to understand and know the bible front and backwards, and be able to defend my faith with actual historical facts, and just to know exactly what to say anytime of the day in order to show someone that Christ can change their lives!  and #2, fighting for the rights of Christians!  It's funny because when Nathan first went to college he went with the idea that he would be a lawyer.  (he still could be) His reasoning was to fight for the rights of Christians!  I believe that with a bible degree, and a paralegal degree I will be able to help fight for Christian rights, or even accomplish my dream of building a women's shelter since I will have the knowledge of law that I will need in order to help these women with the legal system! 

Everyone one around me just complains about how horrible this world is becoming, how Obama has destroyed America!!  While I can't say I'm an Obama fan at all, I can say it's not all his fault!  Why aren't these people coming against him!?  Why aren't these people fighting to hold up our constitution?  Instead they are sitting back, complaining that he has ruiened our country!  I don't see these people in protest, or getting involved with the up coming campaigns to get him out of office!  Maybe there are some who are doing this, but not enough!!  If I have one gift that God gave me it's the ability to stand firm on his Word!  I have never been great at standing up for myself when people come against me, but come against my God and see how bold I get!  But whatever I end up doing I do not want to do it for a job, but as a ministry!  I don't want to be just any paralegal or person with a bible degree...I want to make a difference, and start a ministry that will help change lives! I just have to figure out what that is!

Well I'm signing off for now.  I just finished reading the last book of the Hunger Games tonight after almost four months of trying to finish!  I liked the ending a lot, the rest of it was hard to get through it was very slow compared to the rest of the books, but I did love the ending.  I'm starting my new book today that has been waiting patiently in my Kindle for months.  "Boundaries: when to say yes, How to say no."  Definately something I need to learn about!!  So well...by for now, i'll be back soon I promise!!

Baby #6 ????

Naaaaa.......Crazy last few days!  So we had our first false alarm this week, we've never had quite an experience like this.  Most people have two questions that they eventually ask us, (1) "are you gonna try for the boy?"  and (2) "Do you use birth control?"  Well here are those answers for the entire world to see..  (1) we have never tried for any child we have, they have all been given to us graciously, and (2) no we do not use the pill.  These two things are very difficult for people to swallow because America is about convenience and it's never convenient to have five children in seven years!  All my life I've heard about having "peace and quiet" and "relaxing" and "having ME time"  and well...who knows maybe this is my way of being rebellious; with five children you don't get any of that, but it's still great!!  So this week I was late...I began to get a little scared because I'm NEVER late unless....  So sent Nathan to CVS and took a test...it looked negative but I could see a light blue line that would make it positive.  So...I took the second one...same thing but a little darker.  So yes...I began to go pregnancy test nutty and bought like one of each type and took about 7 in one day!  All the rest were negative!!  2 (lightly positive) and 5 negative!  I just couldn't understand it!  So I waited till the next morning and took another...negative...the next morning...negative!!  It was making me crazy!  So finally I was able to positively say this morning that we had two false positives and I pray that I never have to go through that again!   What a horrible trick to play on people, especially when it's baby #6 and you have to start preparing right away because 8 people means: 12 passenger van, larger kitchen table, moving the kids into the master bedroom so they all fit in the house....it's a lot of preparation!   I do have to say I did feel sad when I finally found out it was negative, even though life would be outrageously crazy if that did happen again so soon...well it would be outrageously wonderful too to be blessed with another mini-Cooper!  They are all so great!!  However having a little break is more than okay with me right now, but If God decides the time has come for #6 I will be more than thrilled!

So Friday was Hobble-bobble's 3rd birthday!  That girl is just the sweetest kid ever!!  She is obsessed with Veggie Tales; Larry Boy in particular!  We are completely running out of Veggie Tales toys to get her for her birthday's and Christmas!  Hopefully they will come out with more later.  So this year for her...she doesn't get a huge party...we invited a few of our friends over next saturday for a cook out but other than that...we had cupcakes and gave her gifts as a family.

Friday was also the Homeschool Convention.  It was awesome!  The used book sale this year wasn't as great as the last few years but we did get more time to check out all the vendors this year and the last two years we have not.  The girls really enjoyed it this year, they met a few homeschool children who were their age but in a family of 8 kids!  They really liked the music booth where they could try out violins and instruments.  Nathan and I bought a parent package from www.doorposts.com while we were there.  It is amazing stuff!  I've always said that If only I had a step by step program that told me how to discipline for what offense, I'd be great!!  That is exactly what this is!!!  I'm so beyond excited.  It's a book that is split up by offense, when a child lies, steals, is selfish, disobedient etc.. you open it to that page and read scripture to your child about that subject and why it's not good to do.  They also have a chart to put on the wall that tells the child what their consequences are for certain crimes.  We started out doing this today, we still have to work out a few kinks with it but so far so good!  By the end of the day it was "here comes mom and dad with the bible book again!"  lol   but they are getting it and we are able to discipline the way we've always wanted to through prayer and scripture, it's been great!

So today, we woke up early and cleaned up the house.  The girls and Nathan helped me in the living room, and hallway, and then I started on the girls room while they ate lunch.  When we were finished they all went down for quiet time while Nathan worked on tightening and replacing screws on the swing set outside, and I started packing for the pool.  I laid out swimming suits, towels, cut veggies and fruits for snacks, filled up cups, packed a diaper bag, packed clothes and underwear for afterwards, made a bottle and found shoes.  When we got to the pool I lathered the kids with sun screen and they were off!!  Three hours swimming and we were headed back home to play outside!  We ordered pizza and sat on the back porch an ate.  Then Nathan and I laid on the trampoline while the girls jumped around us and we tried grabbing them and pulling them down on top of us to tickle.  Once we got inside it was 8:30pm and I filled up the bathtub for all the girls, washed them, dried them and sent them to pick up toys in their room.  We all then laid in Little Bear's bed together while I read a story to all the kids and then they were sound asleep!!  We wore them out!!!`

Our week has been filled with so much that I haven't even made it to start on my school work that is due monday night by 11:59pm!  I have two days but I'm SO exhausted!!  Monday will be our wedding anniversary.....so we may have to put off our celebration till Tuesday instead.  I'm so thankful that I've been able to have the last eight years with the love of my life!  I could not have asked God for a better man!  I'm so undeserving of him, yet thankful I have him!

~HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!

Potty training is not one of my strengths......

Gosh it seems like forever since I last posted, but it really was only a few weeks.  We are in the middle of operation: "get through the first three weeks of June" right now and still chugging along!!  Our busiest three weeks of the year!  Little Bear had her recital on the 2nd, she did fantastic!  She knew all her dance moves and looked beautiful on stage!  I think her favorite part was getting to put on make-up and then getting flowers from daddy and grandma afterwards!  She loved her flowers!!!

We left the recital right after her performance and rushed everyone back home.  Grandma came and stayed the rest of the evening with the kids while Nathan & I dressed up (super) nice and headed to the Jefferson Hotel for my sweet neighbors wedding.  I'm totally going to miss my neighbor Michelle across the street!  She has been an amazing friend the last few years that she has lived there; but I am EXTREMELY excited that she has found the love of her life and is happy!  Her wedding was beautiful!  She was exquisite!  I don't believe I've been to a wedding that fancy before in my life and it was the most fun I've had since my own wedding!   It was nice to get out and have some time to dance, and have a nice dinner, and celebrate the beginning of her new marriage!

On Monday,  Pumpkin & Little Bear had their first swimming lessons!  They were so excited to swim; Pumpkin did great!  She went under the water, jumped in and kicked around on the kick board.  Little Bear was a little more difficult but she is coming along slowly.  She is so afraid to put her face in the water!  So tonight after three days of lessons and her still having trouble, I filled up the bathtub and put her in it.  I figured out that she didn't understand what they were trying to tell her about blowing air out under water and holding her breath.  So I knelt down next to the tub, showed her how to hold her breath, showed her how to blow out, showed her how to blow bubbles and then before she knew what happened I closed my eyes and stuck my entire head under the water.  When I came back up her eyes were HUGE!  lol, she said, "wow mom your hair looks horrible!!"  LOL!  I told her that I wanted to show her how easy it was to go under water.  She finally started putting her entire face under, and then a little more of her head.  We aren't all the way there but we have made progress!!   I came out of the bathroom my hair standing straight up and wet and my shirt soaked all the way down to my pants.  Nathan was like, "what in the world are you doing in the bathroom!!"  hahah!!

So over all today has been a great day!  My friend Anya came over and watched the kids play outside while I got to clean up the kitchen.  I'm so excited to have them coming over once a week or so to play and then go to the pool with us!  Life will be so much easier once I have that little bit of extra time during the day to clean up without having to chase the kids around.  She has been a lifesaver!

So the rest of the week, we are in double time still!  Tomorrow we have swim lessons again, Friday we have the homeschool convention and Hobble-bobble will turn 3!  Saturday...we are going to the pool and somewhere in between the next three days I need to go to the grocery, get Hobble-bobble a present, write my list of curriculum I'm looking for at the convention, and finish my school work!

I've also decided to put Hobble-bobble back in diapers!  I knew it was too good to be true that she decided to potty train herself a few weeks ago!!  She was doing great and then....her room started smelling like pee!!  Her panties kept going missing, or she would go through like 10 pair a day!!  We figured out that she would sit on the potty WITH her panties ON and then pee instead of taking them off!!  THEN, it began...just like Pumpkin...she started peeing EVERYWHERE!!  Our carpet sounds completely like pee! It's so nasty!!  So we will be having a carpet cleaning SOON!  So she is back in the baby diapers!!  I'm also fighting with Sweet-pea because she is desperate to go potty like everyone else, but I forbid it!!  She keeps taking her diaper off everytime she pees or poops in it!  When she poops, she takes off the diaper, throws it over the gate into the kitchen, (yes with the poo still in it) and goes and sits on the potty....with poop all over her butt!! I'm cleaning pee and poo ALL THE TIME!!  I HATE potty training!!  So I think I may make a trip to Michaels and buy some pretty duct tape and secure these diapers already!!

So I'm off to finish out the week strong!!  Till next time.....

#3 is sick.....

So Tuesday we played catch up.  I'm still catching up from when everyone was in the hospital a few months back believe it or not.  What normal people with 2-3 children can do in one day, It takes me three months!!  So Today I did lots of laundry, dishes, and cleaned up the living room twice!  I did get the girls to clean up their rooms by making a game out of it.

After dinner I ran to the grocery store and got some snacks and a few things to get us through the week. When I got home I gave each kid a small pack of yogurt covered raisins to snack on before bed.  As I was on the phone with my sister in the bedroom, Nathan comes back there telling me that Hobble-bobble threw up!  When I came out to investigate, I realize that it wasn't much but she did.  I proceeded to get the girls in bed and worked on some school work while Nathan played Skyrim.  We headed to bed around 12:00 and I lied there watching a little tv and then read my book.  Before I knew it Hobble-bobble comes around the corner with her hand over he mouth heaving!  I jump up and push her into the bathroom and over the toilet and she vomits just in time to miss the floor.  We clean her up and put her back in bed with some water; thirty minutes later I hear a really strange noise!  I couldn't quite make out what it was but then I heard heaving and I ran into her room.  She was laying on her back with vomit all over her face and her hand over her mouth!!  And that is when panic set in!  Thank GOD I was awake and heard her and was able to get to her before she choked on it!  So Nathan helped run the bath and washed her while I stripped down her bedding, and made her a place on the couch for overnight supervision.

She is not running a fever but seems not to be able to keep anything down.  Once I got her on the couch I gave her a little sprite and within 10 minutes she was vomiting in her bucket again!  So I am all set up in our recliner with my book, and laptop taking the night shift again.  I'm hoping she just ate something bad and it's not a virus that we will have to have run through everyone again especially this time of the year when we have so much going on!!  Not a great time for everyone to get sick again!  So I guess the plan is to keep watch overnight and we'll see how she is in the morning!