I've been having an inner struggle the last few weeks with frustration. God has blessed us above and beyond all I could have ever imagined the last two months; yet those blessings have not come without lots of sacrifice, patience, long suffering, and physical labor. The best I can describe my struggle is a natural childbirth. You know you are going to have an amazing baby that you have prayed over and loved, yet you have to wait 9 months to hold her, and you have to go through some uncomfortable times, then during labor the pain builds up from a dull uncomfortable pain to a thriving intense pain that is not relieved until the birth of that baby. During that time of labor (in my experience) I didn't really find much to complain about. Everything was happening mostly the way I had planned, and I knew holding my baby was just around the corner so what was there to complain about...just make it to the next corner- it was almost over!
That is how I've lived my life this last year, "just a little longer, just make it to the end of the month!" Last time I wrote we were about to close on our home. It seems our journey to purchase this home has taken another turn. We had a closing date for 9/27/13. We had all our movers lined up, carpet cleaners lined up, flooring was going to be put down; just the essentials for moving in. We did the home inspection and found out both HVAC units were broken, and the water heater was broken. So we planned to repair (but ended up having to replace) the water heater but the HVAC units would have to wait. We would have to tough it out for a while with no AC or Heat until we could save up the money to get them working again. Again, I couldn't complain, God gave us this house we can do without for a while right?! When our closing date fell through our agent arranged for us to have early occupancy of the house so we didn't have to reschedule everything! We moved in that Sunday with the intentions of closing on the house Monday! When closing didn't happen monday we were told FOR SURE Thursday! Thursday comes and NO Closing!! Appearently the lady who owned the house had two mortgages on it through the same bank, that bank decided to sell the second mortgage to another bank in the middle of us closing! So after waiting on the short sale to be approved for over a year; we were back at square one and had to wait on it to be RE-approved by the new 2nd mtg. holder! (LONG SUFFERING I TELL YA!) Not only did it have to be re-approved, but it also had to be re-approved through the bankruptcy court which that process alone takes 30-60 days (from what I was told). So here we are still living in the house rent free and we haven't closed on it yet! So you see my delema, I'm living in this wonderful home that God has provided for us, yet we don't own it and at anytime they could tell us to get out! Do you allow yourself to be frustrated about things or enjoy the blessings that you have?! Unpack or live out of boxes?!
After a lot of praying and seeking we felt like God wants us to have a larger home and we really felt like things were going to work out. So we unpacked...and we are still unpacking! We also decided to go ahead and find renters for our old house and get it cleaned up! With Nathan's back problem he cannot do a lot of physical work so most of that burden would lie on me. I have spend the last three weekends at the old house along with a few days during the week painting, repairing and cleaning. My parents have been great with helping us when they have been able too and as much as they could (with their health), but the majority of it has been on my plate. So from the day I came home from the hospital on 9/6 till today I have packed up an entire house, moved, unpacked most of the house, painted an entire house, done minor repairs, planned for our homeschool year to start in november and nursed a baby every hour in a half in between. I found myself painting the old house some nights feeling like I wanted to lay on the floor and cry! I'm still sore from having the baby, my entire body is sore from all the physical labor, and emotionally I'm barely making it through because I just want to get finished to enjoy my new baby and spend time with my family! I didn't get that week or two in bed nursing the baby and having pajama time with the girls and I want it more than anything!! So each day I've painted with a bitter-sweet disposition that I want so badly to be finished and be with my family, yet, I'm almost done! So this week is the final week that will complete it all! All the painting inside is done, outside is being done today and tomorrow; carpet is being laid thursday, appliances are there, and we just have to stain the porches this weekend and put the final touches on things. We have a great renter and that is another blessing and answer to prayer!
Today I took Hobble-bobble and Baby Dumplin' to their well-checkups. Baby Dumplin' is 9lb 14oz! I wasn't surprised because she does nothing but eat; and Hobble-bobble was in the 50th percentile! They are doing great! On the way home I got a call from my husband that Pumpkin had a fever! Well, with us not having any AC or Heat it has been pretty cold in here at night and we've all been waking with sore throats. I had thought this morning when Pumpkin told me she didn't feel well it was just from that but by the time I got home tonight she was burning up! She had two baths and tylenol and still had a fever of 101.2. Finally before bed she was able to eat a little something and I'm praying we get through the night without any vomit because I'm exhausted!!
So there it is my bitter-sweet life I love it all and don't want to be frustrated or complain yet I just need a week long pajama party with lots of dancing, singing, and sleep!! It's just around the corner- I know it!!
"While I realize most people keep these things to themselves I believe my life is not a normal life. I believe that my life belongs to God and that every single thing that I go through He wants to use to help someone else, and He wants to use it for his glory." I am a Wife, Homeschooling Mom to Five , College Student, Daughter, Sister, Friend, and most Importantly Follower of Christ.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Baby-Dumplin's Birth Story.....
On September 4th, 2013 at 6:30 am, Nathan and I met our 6th daughter!! Throughout my pregnancy we prepared for this day through reading books on natural birth, watching documentaries, and taking a Bradly class on Natural Birth. This would be my first attempt out of 6 births to have a natural- drug free- delivery.
For five weeks prior I had been having contractions every night and lost so much sleep! Anytime I would lay down, or sit down the contractions would start and last all night long; the minute I got up and walked around they would stop. I assumed they were probably Braxton Hicks; however, they were slowly changing my cervix. At 36 weeks I began taking Evening Primrose Oil, which is supposed to make it easier to dilate as well as Red Raspberry Leaf Tea which is supposed to strengthen your uterus. We also hired an amazing Doula to help us through the labor and delivery process, we were really excited to work with her since she was also a believer and was committed to praying for me through my pregnancy and delivery.
We put together a birth plan for this pregnancy which was super new to me but fun to think about and type up. From all I had gathered most Christian women have people speak verses over them while in labor and pray over them and that helps them to get through it. For me I decided that I wanted to worship through labor. I put together a playlist of praise and worship songs and let my Doula know that while having verses spoken over me was great, I would rather praise God through the pain.
At 2:20pm that afternoon I went to my 39 week prenatal appointment with my midwife. The whole time I had been seeing the midwives (there are 4 of them) I knew that there was one in particular that I adored and would love to be in delivery with. Not only that I knew she had a large family, homeschools her children and was a Christian. Knowing that my midwife was a Christian made me more comfortable with my birth plan of praising God through the pain. Anyways, so this appointment was scheduled with one of the other midwives and for weeks I had been trying to get in with the one I had wanted to deliver with but she wasn't available. So I was super surprised to see her when she walked through the exam room door and my appointment ended up being with her after all! I expressed to her how I've tried everything natural to get this baby moving, I ended up not being much more dilated than I was the week before but was 80% effaced. She told me that I should take the "birth cocktail" and that would get things moving along for me. I was to take 2 tbsp of peanut butter with 2 tbsp of caster oil. The peanut butter would slow the oil down so that it didn't make me sick and on the toilet all night long!
At 5:00pm I took the Cocktail then sat down to eat dinner with my family. After dinner Pumpkin and I went for a walk and when I got back I noticed some things starting to change. By 8:00pm that evening I began to contract. The contractions felt different than the one's I had been having the last few weeks; however, they were stronger still when I laid down or when I sat up, but when I stood the pain wasn't as bad but I still was feeling pressure. For the next three hours we texted my Doula, and counted contractions which from the beginning was 2-3 minutes apart constantly but still I was hesitant that it wasn't real labor since it didn't hurt as badly when I stood up! So we called Nathan's mom and asked her to come over so we could go walk around walmart. The paper I had from the midwife said that if it was real labor it would get worse with walking, so that was what we needed to do. We went ahead and loaded the car before we left with our hospital stuff and while walking around getting that all in order the contractions were getting more intense. We got to walmart around 12:00am and gave my midwife a call. The one I wanted in my labor was on call that night!! She said she thought I would probably be ready to come into the hospital in about 2 more hours and to just relax and save my strength. So then I remembered that if I was in the early stages of labor I needed to get something to eat!! We got in walmart and they were waxing the floors. Nathan went and bought me one of their already made subs and we walked around walmart while I was in laboring and eating a sub! I was in complete fear that my water was going to break on their newly waxed floor!! My doula met us at walmart about 45 minutes later and walked with us, made me laugh to take my mind of things and gave suggestions on how to get through the contractions as they started to get stronger. Around 2am we went back to my house.
We sat in the living room and talked and laughed while I rocked on the birth ball between contractions (since it hurt to sit during a contraction). Then around 3:34am we decided to head to the hospital before contractions got too painful to be in the car. On the car ride I felt things start to pick up a bit and it hurt worse when Nathan would take turns so to comfort me he prayed over my stomach and then started to sing a praise song "Child of God" and I joined in, in between contractions. We arrived at the hospital around 4am and was taken directly to a room. I put on my own clothes and was examined. I was 6cm upon arrival. I was preparing to get hooked up to the IV for the first 20 minutes and then the plan was for them to unhook me; however things didn't go exactly according to the plan. I kept asking when it was going to be done because I was ready to move away from the bed and get in the tub but I don't remember getting much of an answer. As they were monitoring the baby and I was heading into 7-8cm the contractions got even more intense. My doula and midwife had me on my knees facing the back of the bed with my arms over the head of the bed. During contractions my doula had a heat pack on my back and was massaging my legs and feet (which was helping a ton).
Finally my midwife told the nurse "Go get the doctor." I realized she was talking about me and trying not to scare me but I knew there was something wrong. She explained to me that the baby's heart rate was above 200 and had been for a prolonged period of time (about 45min). She said there were several factors that could be causing that and usually it was a fever but in this case I did not have a fever. She said it was very dangerous for the baby and she wanted to doctor to come in and give us some options. At this my heart skipped a beat and I knew we were talking about a C-section. From what I know about C-sections most doctors tell you once a C-section always a C-section. And once you have one it has the potential to limit how many children you can have. I began panicking and worrying about my baby, and everyone could tell I was beginning to stress! They kept me on the IV, and added oxygen to see if it would help but it wasn't really helping. While waiting for the doctor to arrive anytime I had a break in contractions I just stared at the monitor praying her heart rate would normalize. Then all at once I felt my midwife put her hand on my back, my doula put her hand on my leg and Nathan put his hand on my stomach and it got super quiet...they were all three praying for my baby and I could feel the presence of God in the room! Within minutes her heart rate began to lower and normalize contractions became more intense and it was time to be checked again. I was now at 9cm and my bag of water was bulging so we broke the water and it was time to push.
Out of the entire labor I felt like the contractions were tolerable the entire time until it was time to push! I did not expect pushing to be that hard and that intense pain. With my other labors I had an epidural and so pushing was easy! 1-2 pushes and the babies were out! This one was harder, I actually had to work to push the baby out! It was still just a few pushes but with more effort than I had though I would have to give! When the baby finally came I was so focused on pushing that I didn't realize they had already put her on my chest! I couldn't hardly catch my breath in order to calm down and see her! I could feel her warmth and hear her cries but my mind wasn't putting the timeline together in order yet! She was beautiful though when I could finally look at her. She had tons of black hair and weighed 7lbs 5oz; the biggest baby I'd had yet.
I was so surprised at myself that I was able to get through a natural labor, I never thought I would be able to do something like that. I did think about the epidural once while pushing and wondered why in the world I wanted to do something like this. After the delivery I decided that having another baby anytime soon would probably not be in the cards right now, I would definitely need some time to allow my mind to forget the pain. But over all I could feel God's presence the entire time and that is what carried me through to the end. Knowing that God was there watching over me and my baby, knowing that God heard my cries that if it was His will for us to have more children after this baby then please do not allow me to have a C-section that will limit that. I also remembered Nathan telling me that the reason I had not had the baby yet (the week before) was because God had perfect timing and he knew every detail of how it was supposed to be and maybe if I had her earlier I wouldn't have had the midwife I wanted there. He was so right; maybe if I had her earlier my midwife would not have been there to help pray for my baby! So thankful again for God's perfect timing! Nathan was amazing as well, he was by my side the entire time (even when his back was hurting he still stood next to me and wouldn't move). He told me how great I was doing, prayed for me, sang to me, and rubbed my back when I needed him to! He was amazing!!
We are now at home after two nights in the hospital. The girls are thrilled to have a new sister and I do not see her having any alone time anytime soon!! Goobies, was the one I was worried about! I had thought since she had become so spoiled by all the girls being the baby for the last two years that she would be really jealous! She is so possessive of the baby that she will tell everyone to leave her alone and "Don't touch my baby!" She says it is HER baby!! She even cries when we take the baby from her arms or tell her she can't hold her right now. She says that the baby is "ADO ABLE" (adorable). lol
I'm so thankful for my family, God has answered my prayers for a large family, a loving Godly husband, and more love in my life than I could have ever imagined! I knew this year was our year of "Jubilee" or "Jubili" -where God was going to bless our family abundantly after 6 years of famine and long suffering. I am so overjoyed to see that those blessing have started pouring in by the bushels and I could not sing the God's praises enough for all his provision, protection and joy he has given me! I am beyond blessed!!
For five weeks prior I had been having contractions every night and lost so much sleep! Anytime I would lay down, or sit down the contractions would start and last all night long; the minute I got up and walked around they would stop. I assumed they were probably Braxton Hicks; however, they were slowly changing my cervix. At 36 weeks I began taking Evening Primrose Oil, which is supposed to make it easier to dilate as well as Red Raspberry Leaf Tea which is supposed to strengthen your uterus. We also hired an amazing Doula to help us through the labor and delivery process, we were really excited to work with her since she was also a believer and was committed to praying for me through my pregnancy and delivery.
We put together a birth plan for this pregnancy which was super new to me but fun to think about and type up. From all I had gathered most Christian women have people speak verses over them while in labor and pray over them and that helps them to get through it. For me I decided that I wanted to worship through labor. I put together a playlist of praise and worship songs and let my Doula know that while having verses spoken over me was great, I would rather praise God through the pain.
At 2:20pm that afternoon I went to my 39 week prenatal appointment with my midwife. The whole time I had been seeing the midwives (there are 4 of them) I knew that there was one in particular that I adored and would love to be in delivery with. Not only that I knew she had a large family, homeschools her children and was a Christian. Knowing that my midwife was a Christian made me more comfortable with my birth plan of praising God through the pain. Anyways, so this appointment was scheduled with one of the other midwives and for weeks I had been trying to get in with the one I had wanted to deliver with but she wasn't available. So I was super surprised to see her when she walked through the exam room door and my appointment ended up being with her after all! I expressed to her how I've tried everything natural to get this baby moving, I ended up not being much more dilated than I was the week before but was 80% effaced. She told me that I should take the "birth cocktail" and that would get things moving along for me. I was to take 2 tbsp of peanut butter with 2 tbsp of caster oil. The peanut butter would slow the oil down so that it didn't make me sick and on the toilet all night long!
At 5:00pm I took the Cocktail then sat down to eat dinner with my family. After dinner Pumpkin and I went for a walk and when I got back I noticed some things starting to change. By 8:00pm that evening I began to contract. The contractions felt different than the one's I had been having the last few weeks; however, they were stronger still when I laid down or when I sat up, but when I stood the pain wasn't as bad but I still was feeling pressure. For the next three hours we texted my Doula, and counted contractions which from the beginning was 2-3 minutes apart constantly but still I was hesitant that it wasn't real labor since it didn't hurt as badly when I stood up! So we called Nathan's mom and asked her to come over so we could go walk around walmart. The paper I had from the midwife said that if it was real labor it would get worse with walking, so that was what we needed to do. We went ahead and loaded the car before we left with our hospital stuff and while walking around getting that all in order the contractions were getting more intense. We got to walmart around 12:00am and gave my midwife a call. The one I wanted in my labor was on call that night!! She said she thought I would probably be ready to come into the hospital in about 2 more hours and to just relax and save my strength. So then I remembered that if I was in the early stages of labor I needed to get something to eat!! We got in walmart and they were waxing the floors. Nathan went and bought me one of their already made subs and we walked around walmart while I was in laboring and eating a sub! I was in complete fear that my water was going to break on their newly waxed floor!! My doula met us at walmart about 45 minutes later and walked with us, made me laugh to take my mind of things and gave suggestions on how to get through the contractions as they started to get stronger. Around 2am we went back to my house.
We sat in the living room and talked and laughed while I rocked on the birth ball between contractions (since it hurt to sit during a contraction). Then around 3:34am we decided to head to the hospital before contractions got too painful to be in the car. On the car ride I felt things start to pick up a bit and it hurt worse when Nathan would take turns so to comfort me he prayed over my stomach and then started to sing a praise song "Child of God" and I joined in, in between contractions. We arrived at the hospital around 4am and was taken directly to a room. I put on my own clothes and was examined. I was 6cm upon arrival. I was preparing to get hooked up to the IV for the first 20 minutes and then the plan was for them to unhook me; however things didn't go exactly according to the plan. I kept asking when it was going to be done because I was ready to move away from the bed and get in the tub but I don't remember getting much of an answer. As they were monitoring the baby and I was heading into 7-8cm the contractions got even more intense. My doula and midwife had me on my knees facing the back of the bed with my arms over the head of the bed. During contractions my doula had a heat pack on my back and was massaging my legs and feet (which was helping a ton).
Finally my midwife told the nurse "Go get the doctor." I realized she was talking about me and trying not to scare me but I knew there was something wrong. She explained to me that the baby's heart rate was above 200 and had been for a prolonged period of time (about 45min). She said there were several factors that could be causing that and usually it was a fever but in this case I did not have a fever. She said it was very dangerous for the baby and she wanted to doctor to come in and give us some options. At this my heart skipped a beat and I knew we were talking about a C-section. From what I know about C-sections most doctors tell you once a C-section always a C-section. And once you have one it has the potential to limit how many children you can have. I began panicking and worrying about my baby, and everyone could tell I was beginning to stress! They kept me on the IV, and added oxygen to see if it would help but it wasn't really helping. While waiting for the doctor to arrive anytime I had a break in contractions I just stared at the monitor praying her heart rate would normalize. Then all at once I felt my midwife put her hand on my back, my doula put her hand on my leg and Nathan put his hand on my stomach and it got super quiet...they were all three praying for my baby and I could feel the presence of God in the room! Within minutes her heart rate began to lower and normalize contractions became more intense and it was time to be checked again. I was now at 9cm and my bag of water was bulging so we broke the water and it was time to push.
Out of the entire labor I felt like the contractions were tolerable the entire time until it was time to push! I did not expect pushing to be that hard and that intense pain. With my other labors I had an epidural and so pushing was easy! 1-2 pushes and the babies were out! This one was harder, I actually had to work to push the baby out! It was still just a few pushes but with more effort than I had though I would have to give! When the baby finally came I was so focused on pushing that I didn't realize they had already put her on my chest! I couldn't hardly catch my breath in order to calm down and see her! I could feel her warmth and hear her cries but my mind wasn't putting the timeline together in order yet! She was beautiful though when I could finally look at her. She had tons of black hair and weighed 7lbs 5oz; the biggest baby I'd had yet.
I was so surprised at myself that I was able to get through a natural labor, I never thought I would be able to do something like that. I did think about the epidural once while pushing and wondered why in the world I wanted to do something like this. After the delivery I decided that having another baby anytime soon would probably not be in the cards right now, I would definitely need some time to allow my mind to forget the pain. But over all I could feel God's presence the entire time and that is what carried me through to the end. Knowing that God was there watching over me and my baby, knowing that God heard my cries that if it was His will for us to have more children after this baby then please do not allow me to have a C-section that will limit that. I also remembered Nathan telling me that the reason I had not had the baby yet (the week before) was because God had perfect timing and he knew every detail of how it was supposed to be and maybe if I had her earlier I wouldn't have had the midwife I wanted there. He was so right; maybe if I had her earlier my midwife would not have been there to help pray for my baby! So thankful again for God's perfect timing! Nathan was amazing as well, he was by my side the entire time (even when his back was hurting he still stood next to me and wouldn't move). He told me how great I was doing, prayed for me, sang to me, and rubbed my back when I needed him to! He was amazing!!
We are now at home after two nights in the hospital. The girls are thrilled to have a new sister and I do not see her having any alone time anytime soon!! Goobies, was the one I was worried about! I had thought since she had become so spoiled by all the girls being the baby for the last two years that she would be really jealous! She is so possessive of the baby that she will tell everyone to leave her alone and "Don't touch my baby!" She says it is HER baby!! She even cries when we take the baby from her arms or tell her she can't hold her right now. She says that the baby is "ADO ABLE" (adorable). lol
I'm so thankful for my family, God has answered my prayers for a large family, a loving Godly husband, and more love in my life than I could have ever imagined! I knew this year was our year of "Jubilee" or "Jubili" -where God was going to bless our family abundantly after 6 years of famine and long suffering. I am so overjoyed to see that those blessing have started pouring in by the bushels and I could not sing the God's praises enough for all his provision, protection and joy he has given me! I am beyond blessed!!
Monday, September 2, 2013
God's provision.....
They say that patience is a virtue, but that is one area of my life I've never been good at ESPECIALLY while pregnant!! I actually recall a conversation once I had in one of my early pregnancies; I was huge, miserable, and ready for it to be over and someone said to me "I guess God is teaching you patience!" Well the normal me would have smiled and walked on the hormonal me came out instead and replied, "God doesn't teach pregnant women patience, He knows better!" While we laughed about my unexpected response (I didn't even expect it) it became something God would later use to prove me wrong!
When Nathan and I got married we purchased a 3 bedroom 2 bath rancher. We never dreamed that we would have so many children to fill it up with! While he had about two children in mind, I knew I wanted a large family but never imagined that the definition of large was over four. Over the 10 years we've been together and talked about our expectations for our family and future our views on what a blessing Children are, birth control, and trusting God began to change and develop into something we would have never imagined. Never once have we ever had a conversation in our ten years that went anything like, "lets have six children!!" It began with one, then unexpectedly we were expecting the second and then God began to change our hearts to want what he wanted for us and not just what we wanted for us. So needless to say our home has filled up quickly!
After the third baby I began praying that God would bless us with a larger home. For over five years I have prayed that if God wants us to have many children he would supply us with our need for a larger home. I didn't want anything fancy just something that we could fit in comfortably, expand our family if it was God's will, and have room for homeschooling (which we believe we were called to do as well). Once we had baby #4 I began to agonize over this home that did not look like was in our future! I HATED our home, I could not stand to be here, it was suffocating and embarrassing that we were all shoved in here, and I couldn't invite people over because we had no where for them to sit! Finally after four years of praying for a larger home the economy took a dive and the housing market went down with it. We began our search to find a larger home for the same price we bought our rancher for and rent out our current home.
We looked at several homes but nothing that would really fit us. I began looking for something around the same size as what we already had but with 4 bedrooms and a dinning room. I didn't want anything huge just something that worked. We quickly realized that we would soon be in the same situation as we are in now if we upgraded to only 500sq ft. and had to look at larger homes over 2000sq ft. Nathan would ask me "how will we know when it's the right one?" I'd tell him "we will just know!" We found a really nice white house that we liked, we had a few reservations about it but overall we liked it and it would fit us and fit our price range. We put a contract on it and it was verbally accepted then 30 minutes later we received a call that they received a better offer and was going to go with that one! We were heartbroken and I almost didn't want to look anymore! But we kept on. FINALLY we found the one! It was over 2200 sq. ft, 4 bedroom, 3 bathrooms, fireplace, dining room, play room, fenced in back yard, and in a culdesac, so the kids can finally learn to ride bikes!! It was perfect for us! As we walked around the back yard I prayed and asked God if this was the one, and a figure came into my mind as to what to offer on the house! The amount I felt we should offer was 20,000 less than the asking price, and 43,000 less than the assessment price of the home! Once we found out the home was a short-sale and was owned by Indy Mac/ One West we really were hesitant it would go through. Indy Mac/One West is known for not approving short-sales because they make more money on forclosures sense they are backed by the government. After a three month wait we were told by BOTH selling and listing agents that they did not believe this short-sale would ever happen!
I had such peace about that house, I just knew it was the right house and could not let go of it! So we kept our contract on that house (although it was outdated) and kept looking just in case. We came across another home we loved and put a contract on that one. It was beautiful but had a lot of water issues in the yard; we ended up not getting that one. After that we had decided to give up on the house for a while. I was so stressed at the time, being almost in my second trimester of pregnancy with baby #6, that I couldn't handle all the stress from it all. We decided to still look at what came on the market but unless it had everything we wanted we wouldn't go see it. We were not settling. Mean-while, I was praying and praying for the other house to somehow come through!! We had so many set backs with it but finally in May we received a call that they would approve and close on the home within 45 days!! We renewed our paperwork and waited, and waited, and waited and heard NOTHING!
In the meantime I prayed, and prayed and prayed!! We realized that if we didn't find a home before the end of the year we would have to wait several more years before we started the process again so this was the end of the line for us! I began to understand the meaning of giving things over to God! I would get so stressed and have to pray and ask God to take it from me, and my burdens were lifted! I realized that there was no need in worrying about things because this house belonged to God and it was up to him if He gave it to us or not, not the bank! So I began to pray differently and think about things differently. I realized that our home we are in now was given to us by God as well. Why would he give me another if I didn't appreciate the one I had and hated it so badly?! so I began to organize our home and make things more comfortable for all of us to fit here. It gave us so much more room and comfort that I began to really love my home! I actually began to pray and thank God for this home!! My prayers changed from "please I can't stand living here anymore Lord I'm drowning!" to " thank you Lord for this house you have blessed our family with, thank you for giving us shelter and the ability to make it comfortable for all of us who live here." I also told God that I knew the other house belonged to Him and if it was His will please bless us with it. Once I finally realized the house belonged to God and not the bank, it made being patient (even while pregnant) so much easier!
We got word they were doing an assessment on the home to see how much they should sell it for. I began to get nervous because I couldn't see how they would ever sell that home to us for the price we offered (only 10k more than we paid for our rancher but 1242 more sq ft.) especially after seeing what the homes around it were worth and the house market had started to go up again. One day we were out and about and the kids all fell asleep in the car (which is rare for all of them)! We decided to take a drive and let them nap a while. Nathan told me he wanted me to go over by the new home so he could pray over it and claim it as ours. He said when Jerry Falwell wanted to buy the land for Liberty University he walked the mountain prayed over it and claimed it as his! Now he has one of the largest Christian Universities there in the world! So we did just that. We stopped by the house and Nathan walked around the home and prayed and asked God to bless us and claimed it in Jesus Name for our family.
After two weeks of hearing nothing more; I became weary. There were many things I have been praying about for many weeks (not just the house) that had began wearing on me; not to mention I was STILL pregnant!! One night I just could not sleep so I got on my knees in my living room and began worshiping God. For over an hour I sang praises to Him and just sat in his presence. Finally I began praying, first thanking him again for our home, reminding him that his word says, "ask and it will be given to you, seek and you shall find" and then reminding him how long I've been asking and seeking and that I was weary!! I needed a breakthrough!
Finally the end of August (2 days after my prayer) after almost a year wait, we got word they had approved our short-sale! Not only had they approved our short- sale but they did not even try to up the price, we got it for the price God had showed us to ask! Not only was I extremely excited but I felt so unworthy that God blessed us in such an amazing way! I knew if it was God's will it would happen but maybe I just never felt it was God's will to bless us?!
We are finally in the process of closing on our home. We have all the paperwork in order and inspection scheduled. It does not seem real to me that we are finally moving, but I will never take that home for-granted that is for sure! I've never been more thankful to God for showing us that He is faithful to provide all our needs! Now if I can convince Him to let me go into labor I'll be on top of the world ;)
When Nathan and I got married we purchased a 3 bedroom 2 bath rancher. We never dreamed that we would have so many children to fill it up with! While he had about two children in mind, I knew I wanted a large family but never imagined that the definition of large was over four. Over the 10 years we've been together and talked about our expectations for our family and future our views on what a blessing Children are, birth control, and trusting God began to change and develop into something we would have never imagined. Never once have we ever had a conversation in our ten years that went anything like, "lets have six children!!" It began with one, then unexpectedly we were expecting the second and then God began to change our hearts to want what he wanted for us and not just what we wanted for us. So needless to say our home has filled up quickly!
After the third baby I began praying that God would bless us with a larger home. For over five years I have prayed that if God wants us to have many children he would supply us with our need for a larger home. I didn't want anything fancy just something that we could fit in comfortably, expand our family if it was God's will, and have room for homeschooling (which we believe we were called to do as well). Once we had baby #4 I began to agonize over this home that did not look like was in our future! I HATED our home, I could not stand to be here, it was suffocating and embarrassing that we were all shoved in here, and I couldn't invite people over because we had no where for them to sit! Finally after four years of praying for a larger home the economy took a dive and the housing market went down with it. We began our search to find a larger home for the same price we bought our rancher for and rent out our current home.
We looked at several homes but nothing that would really fit us. I began looking for something around the same size as what we already had but with 4 bedrooms and a dinning room. I didn't want anything huge just something that worked. We quickly realized that we would soon be in the same situation as we are in now if we upgraded to only 500sq ft. and had to look at larger homes over 2000sq ft. Nathan would ask me "how will we know when it's the right one?" I'd tell him "we will just know!" We found a really nice white house that we liked, we had a few reservations about it but overall we liked it and it would fit us and fit our price range. We put a contract on it and it was verbally accepted then 30 minutes later we received a call that they received a better offer and was going to go with that one! We were heartbroken and I almost didn't want to look anymore! But we kept on. FINALLY we found the one! It was over 2200 sq. ft, 4 bedroom, 3 bathrooms, fireplace, dining room, play room, fenced in back yard, and in a culdesac, so the kids can finally learn to ride bikes!! It was perfect for us! As we walked around the back yard I prayed and asked God if this was the one, and a figure came into my mind as to what to offer on the house! The amount I felt we should offer was 20,000 less than the asking price, and 43,000 less than the assessment price of the home! Once we found out the home was a short-sale and was owned by Indy Mac/ One West we really were hesitant it would go through. Indy Mac/One West is known for not approving short-sales because they make more money on forclosures sense they are backed by the government. After a three month wait we were told by BOTH selling and listing agents that they did not believe this short-sale would ever happen!
I had such peace about that house, I just knew it was the right house and could not let go of it! So we kept our contract on that house (although it was outdated) and kept looking just in case. We came across another home we loved and put a contract on that one. It was beautiful but had a lot of water issues in the yard; we ended up not getting that one. After that we had decided to give up on the house for a while. I was so stressed at the time, being almost in my second trimester of pregnancy with baby #6, that I couldn't handle all the stress from it all. We decided to still look at what came on the market but unless it had everything we wanted we wouldn't go see it. We were not settling. Mean-while, I was praying and praying for the other house to somehow come through!! We had so many set backs with it but finally in May we received a call that they would approve and close on the home within 45 days!! We renewed our paperwork and waited, and waited, and waited and heard NOTHING!
In the meantime I prayed, and prayed and prayed!! We realized that if we didn't find a home before the end of the year we would have to wait several more years before we started the process again so this was the end of the line for us! I began to understand the meaning of giving things over to God! I would get so stressed and have to pray and ask God to take it from me, and my burdens were lifted! I realized that there was no need in worrying about things because this house belonged to God and it was up to him if He gave it to us or not, not the bank! So I began to pray differently and think about things differently. I realized that our home we are in now was given to us by God as well. Why would he give me another if I didn't appreciate the one I had and hated it so badly?! so I began to organize our home and make things more comfortable for all of us to fit here. It gave us so much more room and comfort that I began to really love my home! I actually began to pray and thank God for this home!! My prayers changed from "please I can't stand living here anymore Lord I'm drowning!" to " thank you Lord for this house you have blessed our family with, thank you for giving us shelter and the ability to make it comfortable for all of us who live here." I also told God that I knew the other house belonged to Him and if it was His will please bless us with it. Once I finally realized the house belonged to God and not the bank, it made being patient (even while pregnant) so much easier!
We got word they were doing an assessment on the home to see how much they should sell it for. I began to get nervous because I couldn't see how they would ever sell that home to us for the price we offered (only 10k more than we paid for our rancher but 1242 more sq ft.) especially after seeing what the homes around it were worth and the house market had started to go up again. One day we were out and about and the kids all fell asleep in the car (which is rare for all of them)! We decided to take a drive and let them nap a while. Nathan told me he wanted me to go over by the new home so he could pray over it and claim it as ours. He said when Jerry Falwell wanted to buy the land for Liberty University he walked the mountain prayed over it and claimed it as his! Now he has one of the largest Christian Universities there in the world! So we did just that. We stopped by the house and Nathan walked around the home and prayed and asked God to bless us and claimed it in Jesus Name for our family.
After two weeks of hearing nothing more; I became weary. There were many things I have been praying about for many weeks (not just the house) that had began wearing on me; not to mention I was STILL pregnant!! One night I just could not sleep so I got on my knees in my living room and began worshiping God. For over an hour I sang praises to Him and just sat in his presence. Finally I began praying, first thanking him again for our home, reminding him that his word says, "ask and it will be given to you, seek and you shall find" and then reminding him how long I've been asking and seeking and that I was weary!! I needed a breakthrough!
Finally the end of August (2 days after my prayer) after almost a year wait, we got word they had approved our short-sale! Not only had they approved our short- sale but they did not even try to up the price, we got it for the price God had showed us to ask! Not only was I extremely excited but I felt so unworthy that God blessed us in such an amazing way! I knew if it was God's will it would happen but maybe I just never felt it was God's will to bless us?!
We are finally in the process of closing on our home. We have all the paperwork in order and inspection scheduled. It does not seem real to me that we are finally moving, but I will never take that home for-granted that is for sure! I've never been more thankful to God for showing us that He is faithful to provide all our needs! Now if I can convince Him to let me go into labor I'll be on top of the world ;)
Sunday, August 25, 2013
A man full of love...
I've never witnessed a more loving, caring, hands-on father and husband in all my life! My husband does not get enough credit for all he does around here that is for sure, and I tend to take his love, patience, gentleness, and thoughtfulness for-granted most of the time. I pray, however; that God will help me to stop doing that and that I will continue to notice the little things he does daily to show our girls and myself so much love and affection.
Let me start by telling you the things that my husband does NOT do!
He does not go out to clubs or bars with friends and leave me home to take care of our children till the wee hours of the morning.
He does not look at other women lustfully whether it be in person or on television, but instead turns his head or turns the channel quickly in order to honor me.
He has NEVER mentioned anything about wanting a divorce, or separation with any argument we've ever had no matter how difficult the argument was.
He has never taken up for someone else over me, I always come first he is always on my team.
He has never given me the silent treatment or let a disagreement go into another day without telling me he was sorry or trying to make things right.
He has never treated our children or myself like we are a burden, or that he cannot stand to be around us.
He does not lounge on the couch all day, or go out and play a sport all the time and ignore his family.
He does not have hardly any alone time.
He does not expect me to keep our home spotless at all times.
He does not just sit on the couch and watch me do all the cleaning.
He does not try to control me, or tell me where I can go or when I can do things.
He does not talk badly about me to others.
He does not keep things from me.
My husband does however;
Tell me everything
Trusts me with our finances
Helps me with chores around the house
Spends almost all his free time with me and our children
Changes diapers and gives baths
Play wrestles with the girls and hugs them and reads to them
He watches My Little Pony, endures hours of the girls playing beauty parlor with his hair, and even tolerates occasionally being called "princess daddy."
He gets up in the middle of the night and helps me change sheets that have been puked on or peed on, and give baths and medications at 3am.
He takes care of me when I am sick
He once took care of all 6 of us when we were all puking but him, washing out puke buckets, and washing bed sheets one right after another.
He is the first one up with our children in the mornings and closes and locks our bedroom door so that I can rest and won't be disturbed.
He gets up in the middle of the night to refill milk cups
He makes them breakfast and even starts school with them some days.
He puts the girls to bed every night and prays over them.
He makes me feel like I'm the only woman in the world he is even interested in talking to
He makes me feel like I am still beautiful to him after 6 babies and being together for 10 years.
He never neglects to tell me the house looks good, or my dinner was good, or I look beautiful today.
He still holds my hand when we are in public, still opens my car door, still flirts with me like the fist day I met him.
He prays with me before we go to bed at night and talks to me about my fears, hopes, and dreams.
He has taught me about God and leads me spiritually
He listens me to vent about things over and over again and never complains.
He does repairs around our home
He still takes me out for dates.
He sticks up for me even to family when he thinks I'm being wronged.
He puts God first, me second and our children third.
He goes shopping with me and helps me pick things out that look good on me.
He is my best friend without a doubt!
I'm sure there are many other things I could list about this amazing man. God
did not disappoint when he gave me my husband that is for sure! I cannot express to the world how grateful I am for Nathan and the the things he has given me in life. He has taught me about what true love is. Not only has he demonstrated true love to myself and our children but he has been able to teach us how deep the love of God is through his own examples. I could never be a mom of this many children without having him as a partner. People always tell me how they do not understand how I do it with this many children or how they are just amazed by how much I accomplish in a day with this many children, but the only reason any of that is possible is because I have an amazing husband who does just as much (if not more) that I do in order to keep our home running smoothly and our children raised up in the way of the Lord. I am so blessed to have him in my life. He is truly my best friend!
Thank you Lord for blessing us with this man, please give us all a long life with him and help us to mirror his self-less, loving character to one-another.
Let me start by telling you the things that my husband does NOT do!
He does not go out to clubs or bars with friends and leave me home to take care of our children till the wee hours of the morning.
He does not look at other women lustfully whether it be in person or on television, but instead turns his head or turns the channel quickly in order to honor me.
He has NEVER mentioned anything about wanting a divorce, or separation with any argument we've ever had no matter how difficult the argument was.
He has never taken up for someone else over me, I always come first he is always on my team.
He has never given me the silent treatment or let a disagreement go into another day without telling me he was sorry or trying to make things right.
He has never treated our children or myself like we are a burden, or that he cannot stand to be around us.
He does not lounge on the couch all day, or go out and play a sport all the time and ignore his family.
He does not have hardly any alone time.
He does not expect me to keep our home spotless at all times.
He does not just sit on the couch and watch me do all the cleaning.
He does not try to control me, or tell me where I can go or when I can do things.
He does not talk badly about me to others.
He does not keep things from me.
My husband does however;
Tell me everything
Trusts me with our finances
Helps me with chores around the house
Spends almost all his free time with me and our children
Changes diapers and gives baths
Play wrestles with the girls and hugs them and reads to them
He watches My Little Pony, endures hours of the girls playing beauty parlor with his hair, and even tolerates occasionally being called "princess daddy."
He gets up in the middle of the night and helps me change sheets that have been puked on or peed on, and give baths and medications at 3am.
He takes care of me when I am sick
He once took care of all 6 of us when we were all puking but him, washing out puke buckets, and washing bed sheets one right after another.
He is the first one up with our children in the mornings and closes and locks our bedroom door so that I can rest and won't be disturbed.
He gets up in the middle of the night to refill milk cups
He makes them breakfast and even starts school with them some days.
He puts the girls to bed every night and prays over them.
He makes me feel like I'm the only woman in the world he is even interested in talking to
He makes me feel like I am still beautiful to him after 6 babies and being together for 10 years.
He never neglects to tell me the house looks good, or my dinner was good, or I look beautiful today.
He still holds my hand when we are in public, still opens my car door, still flirts with me like the fist day I met him.
He prays with me before we go to bed at night and talks to me about my fears, hopes, and dreams.
He has taught me about God and leads me spiritually
He listens me to vent about things over and over again and never complains.
He does repairs around our home
He still takes me out for dates.
He sticks up for me even to family when he thinks I'm being wronged.
He puts God first, me second and our children third.
He goes shopping with me and helps me pick things out that look good on me.
He is my best friend without a doubt!
I'm sure there are many other things I could list about this amazing man. God
did not disappoint when he gave me my husband that is for sure! I cannot express to the world how grateful I am for Nathan and the the things he has given me in life. He has taught me about what true love is. Not only has he demonstrated true love to myself and our children but he has been able to teach us how deep the love of God is through his own examples. I could never be a mom of this many children without having him as a partner. People always tell me how they do not understand how I do it with this many children or how they are just amazed by how much I accomplish in a day with this many children, but the only reason any of that is possible is because I have an amazing husband who does just as much (if not more) that I do in order to keep our home running smoothly and our children raised up in the way of the Lord. I am so blessed to have him in my life. He is truly my best friend!
Thank you Lord for blessing us with this man, please give us all a long life with him and help us to mirror his self-less, loving character to one-another.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Living blindly and trusting the Maker
A few months back, we were all sitting at the dinner table eating, laughing and talking like families do, when I noticed that Sweet-pea was crossing her eyes! At first I thought she was just messing with us and trying to be funny but then I realized that it was ONE eye that was crossing inward to her nose, and it became more frequent!! Of course as a mother we always think the worse especially with something that sudden, my first thought was brain tumor! So before even finishing my dinner I went straight to the phone and started googling and calling eye doctors. We got an appointment for the very next morning.
Our Medications
Our Spice Cabinet
Our Sugar, Flour, Oatmeal
The girls hair things
Our homeschool supplies
Coloring books and Crayons
Homemade Dishwashing detergent, Orange Multi-purpose Cleaner, Laundry Detergent, and Fabrid Softner!
New Born hat
Being a large family we are late a lot! I am the type of person who starts getting a bit panicked when we are running late and am constantly saying, "okay get in the car, quickly!!" Our little Sweet-pea is on her own time clock. She takes her time and enjoys everything, especially our blooming daisy's in the front flower bed. Every time we leave the house, she has to walk over to the daisy's and pick at least two! One for mommy and one for her to hold in the car. I constantly find myself saying "COME ON, Please we are going to be late, you can pick them when we get back!! HURRY! Get in the car!!" Day after day Sweet-pea ignores my every plea! She has to find the most beautiful flower, she has to pick it just right with her thumb and pointer-finger, then she has to make sure mommy gets it before getting into the car!
At our appointment we learned that Sweet-pea (2) is extremely farsighted and has an astigmatism. I was so completely blown away that I had not noticed any symptoms until now! They say that you can look in a persons glasses and that is how they see without them; lets just say I have no idea how that child could have ever seen a thing without them!! She has had her glasses for over a month now and is doing wonderful with them. I'm sad that she will have to have glasses for the rest of her life, but I am thankful that we caught it when we did!
God has been working on my heart a lot the last few months. He has really used the waiting period of the house we've been wanting to purchase (10 months) to teach me how to rely on him and not be such a worrier. I find myself start to panic over things but then I start to remind myself that these things are not in my control, God is in control and he has it under control! I pray a lot, and then I put it completely out of my mind and focus on something else! For instance anytime I get any news on the house I start to panic that things won't work out quite the way I hope. So I pray, and then I put it out of my mind by focusing on what I do already have, like organizing the house we have now! I am such a worrier and this is such a huge step for me. Anytime I hear anything about problems with our extended family or friends I start to worry then I cannot get them out of my mind and I drive myself crazy over it. But God has really shown me that I need to let go and allow him to drive the boat.
Since deciding to have a natural birth this time around, my first instinct was fear! I was so afraid of the pain and discomfort it would bring and just did not know that I could suffer through it that long! One day as I was thinking about it it was like God told me "if you can trust me to give you as many kids as I want you to have, why can't you trust me through your labors?!" And it hit home with everything in my life. Trusting God to decide how many children to have is a HUGE deal! Most people I know that would be the one thing in their lives that they would want to control, it affects everything from house size, to car size, to income, budget, etc. But for me I feel that is the easiest thing in my life to trust God with...so why can't I trust him with the smaller things and stop all the worrying?!
Since deciding to have a natural birth this time around, my first instinct was fear! I was so afraid of the pain and discomfort it would bring and just did not know that I could suffer through it that long! One day as I was thinking about it it was like God told me "if you can trust me to give you as many kids as I want you to have, why can't you trust me through your labors?!" And it hit home with everything in my life. Trusting God to decide how many children to have is a HUGE deal! Most people I know that would be the one thing in their lives that they would want to control, it affects everything from house size, to car size, to income, budget, etc. But for me I feel that is the easiest thing in my life to trust God with...so why can't I trust him with the smaller things and stop all the worrying?!
So I started thinking about my Sweet-pea and how she doesn't have a worry in the world! Here she was almost unable to see a thing in her world yet she still managed to pluck the most beautiful flowers from the bunch every time, and she could have kept them for herself but she wanted me to have them! She could have cried and screamed that she couldn't see the flowers, she could have ignored her entire world, but she trusted that it was beautiful even though to her it was probably just a blurred image of white. This is how I see my life now, a blurred image of white that I'm trusting will be beautiful in the hands of God no matter the outcome.
On another note we are getting really excited about the baby! I will be 35 weeks friday! I've had two babies at 35 weeks, one at 38 and the others were induced at 37, and 39. So it's anytime after friday!! I am praying though that I will make it at least to 36 weeks. Since I am seeing a midwife they will not be able to be with me in labor unless I am at least 36 weeks! I do believe this is the first baby I've had so far that I've not been extremely anxious for the pregnancy to be over. I've, for the most part, enjoyed being pregnant this time around. I've been nesting like crazy, part of it is what I talked about above with the whole "take care of what I already have" and leave the rest up to God thing, but a lot is nesting as well! Here are some photos of things I've made and the organization I've accomplished the last few week in preparation for the new baby! I've been in Organization Heaven!!!
Our Medications
Hats for the girls!
And there is lots more not pictured! I wish I had this nesting urge all the time!!!
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Living with Hope....
The past few weeks has been an emotional roller coaster for me! I've really been trying so hard to keep God at the front of my mind, remember that this is his perfect timing and will for us, and that whatever happens is His plan. It's not an easy mindset to have all the time and I find myself starting to panic a lot so I will have to go outside on the porch or in my room and close the door and just pray! This doesn't just happen once a day, more like 50x a day! As if the hormones from being almost 27 weeks pregnant isn't enough! I'm in the stage of my pregnancy where I've become extremely weepy! I seriously cried two nights ago because I was watching my husband eat Doritos and he was not eating them the correct way! Don't ask me what the correct way is because I have no idea, all I know is that the thought of eating Doritos slowly (while pregnant) is unthinkable and that crying over something as silly as that is not the type of person I am. So with that said, it has been a constant fight trying to push aside my emotions and hormones and just focus on what God wants for me!
After a few calculations the other day (which I wish I never did) I came to the conclusion that if we end up getting our new home, closing date will come really close to my 35th week! This realization had me in a panic because I've had several children at 35 weeks and even have had preterm labor as early as 30 weeks! So thinking that I could be in labor the day we close on the house is a bit rattling! So I started to get weepy again! I believe I cried for two days over the fact that I cannot "nest" and get things ready for the baby, nor do I know where we will be living when the baby actually comes home. These unknown things are enough to make a pregnant woman crazy! So fighting against it I went to the Lord in prayer asking for a quick answer and peace! I just need His peace.
I had decided this time around to attempt my first all natural birth without an epidural! I had an epidural with all 5 of my children and after the last one I began experiencing nerve pain in my arms and legs that I couldn't get rid of. After much consideration I decided that it was time to try it naturally. My husband wasn't on board right away, he said that he didn't know if he could sit there and watch me be in such agonizing pain for that length of time and not be able to do anything about it. On Saturday we attending 1/3 of our first birthing classes. We never took any of them with the other children since I had planned to get an epidural, so it was a lot of new information I never knew before! I was completely shocked by the things that you can actually do while in labor like, moving around, eating, taking a shower, wearing your own clothes! It was all so foreign to me that I kept struggling within myself "Wait that's not right, you can't eat while in labor!" lol Part of me felt sad that I did not do this with the other five, I feel like I missed out on a strong, immediate bond with them when they were first born.
Part of doing a natural birth is being able to prepare yourself mentally that this is what is going to happen. When I had Sweet-pea, I had in my mind that I would be getting an epidural. I was in labor from 8pm till 8am. At 2am, I was given pitocin to make my contractions stronger and I immediately asked for an epidural. The nurse kept putting me off and at 7am I still did not have my epidural! I was in severe pain, clinging to the bed, and really REALLY flustered! Finally after the nurses switched shifts I asked the new nurse for it and had it within 3 minutes of asking! When the guy came in to do it he said he had a great night of sleep and had not had a call all night long!! I was SO furious!! Then while he was putting in the epidural I actually felt her head come down and hit the bed! I had her less than an hour later! I believe that if I had prepared myself for that birth that I was not going to have an epidural it would have been easier, also if I had learned to move around and work through the contractions instead of tensing up and hanging onto the bed railing for dear life it would have been a lot better!
With that said I have had in my mind that once my class started for the bradly method I would be putting aside all other things and filling my mind with things to prepare, lots of reading mostly! I felt a little overwhelmed with all the stuff going on around me with trying to get the new house that it has become super hard to do this!
As I was running some errands yesterday I started thinking about how far I have come over the last two years. How I made it through some of the darkest times in my life and spiritually what has come of it all. I started thinking about what life would be like if I did not have the promises of God to fall back on. I remember being in the darkest place in my life, not knowing how to get out, feeling like the only way out was to end it all, however; deep down I knew it would all be okay. Now that I am finally in a better place and can actually see outside of the darkness I can look back and be so thankful that even though I didn't think God was near during those times, or even though I didn't feel him at work, I knew in my mind that God always keeps his promises and that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I was so thankful that now in all this stress and uncertainty that I can still do the same thing. I know without a doubt that God had everything under control, however things turn out is all part of his perfect plan. I remember a few years ago I lead a small group of ladies. One of the lessons that week I was teaching was about how as Christians we will always have hope because we know that God has our lives in his hands. We also tried to imagine life without hope and what a difference knowing God makes in our lives compared to others who do not believe. I can honestly say that I do not understand how others who do not believe in God even get through one day! The thought of living your life and expecting to just die at the end with nothing waiting for you is really the hardest life to live in my opinion! I am just so thankful that through everything I've had the promises of God.
So this week my goal is to continue to work on allowing God to take my burdens, and to continue to trust Him that everything is happening in his perfect timing!
After a few calculations the other day (which I wish I never did) I came to the conclusion that if we end up getting our new home, closing date will come really close to my 35th week! This realization had me in a panic because I've had several children at 35 weeks and even have had preterm labor as early as 30 weeks! So thinking that I could be in labor the day we close on the house is a bit rattling! So I started to get weepy again! I believe I cried for two days over the fact that I cannot "nest" and get things ready for the baby, nor do I know where we will be living when the baby actually comes home. These unknown things are enough to make a pregnant woman crazy! So fighting against it I went to the Lord in prayer asking for a quick answer and peace! I just need His peace.
I had decided this time around to attempt my first all natural birth without an epidural! I had an epidural with all 5 of my children and after the last one I began experiencing nerve pain in my arms and legs that I couldn't get rid of. After much consideration I decided that it was time to try it naturally. My husband wasn't on board right away, he said that he didn't know if he could sit there and watch me be in such agonizing pain for that length of time and not be able to do anything about it. On Saturday we attending 1/3 of our first birthing classes. We never took any of them with the other children since I had planned to get an epidural, so it was a lot of new information I never knew before! I was completely shocked by the things that you can actually do while in labor like, moving around, eating, taking a shower, wearing your own clothes! It was all so foreign to me that I kept struggling within myself "Wait that's not right, you can't eat while in labor!" lol Part of me felt sad that I did not do this with the other five, I feel like I missed out on a strong, immediate bond with them when they were first born.
Part of doing a natural birth is being able to prepare yourself mentally that this is what is going to happen. When I had Sweet-pea, I had in my mind that I would be getting an epidural. I was in labor from 8pm till 8am. At 2am, I was given pitocin to make my contractions stronger and I immediately asked for an epidural. The nurse kept putting me off and at 7am I still did not have my epidural! I was in severe pain, clinging to the bed, and really REALLY flustered! Finally after the nurses switched shifts I asked the new nurse for it and had it within 3 minutes of asking! When the guy came in to do it he said he had a great night of sleep and had not had a call all night long!! I was SO furious!! Then while he was putting in the epidural I actually felt her head come down and hit the bed! I had her less than an hour later! I believe that if I had prepared myself for that birth that I was not going to have an epidural it would have been easier, also if I had learned to move around and work through the contractions instead of tensing up and hanging onto the bed railing for dear life it would have been a lot better!
With that said I have had in my mind that once my class started for the bradly method I would be putting aside all other things and filling my mind with things to prepare, lots of reading mostly! I felt a little overwhelmed with all the stuff going on around me with trying to get the new house that it has become super hard to do this!
As I was running some errands yesterday I started thinking about how far I have come over the last two years. How I made it through some of the darkest times in my life and spiritually what has come of it all. I started thinking about what life would be like if I did not have the promises of God to fall back on. I remember being in the darkest place in my life, not knowing how to get out, feeling like the only way out was to end it all, however; deep down I knew it would all be okay. Now that I am finally in a better place and can actually see outside of the darkness I can look back and be so thankful that even though I didn't think God was near during those times, or even though I didn't feel him at work, I knew in my mind that God always keeps his promises and that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I was so thankful that now in all this stress and uncertainty that I can still do the same thing. I know without a doubt that God had everything under control, however things turn out is all part of his perfect plan. I remember a few years ago I lead a small group of ladies. One of the lessons that week I was teaching was about how as Christians we will always have hope because we know that God has our lives in his hands. We also tried to imagine life without hope and what a difference knowing God makes in our lives compared to others who do not believe. I can honestly say that I do not understand how others who do not believe in God even get through one day! The thought of living your life and expecting to just die at the end with nothing waiting for you is really the hardest life to live in my opinion! I am just so thankful that through everything I've had the promises of God.
So this week my goal is to continue to work on allowing God to take my burdens, and to continue to trust Him that everything is happening in his perfect timing!
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Our Family Home Organizer
So today I used my afternoon to update my "Home Organizer" binder. I started this a few years ago when I first discovered Fly Lady, in which they introduce you to the "Control Journal." I have also researched other emergency/organizational binders on pinterest and came across a great blog with print outs that I also used for my binder at A Craft a Day. When I first started my binder it was fairly pitiful! Over the years I have added to it but it has never been quite what I needed it to be until now! Today was the day!! I spent my afternoon printing our forms, making my own forms, organizing and putting our entire daily life in one spot in our home! I am so relieved to have it all finished up and ready to be used!! So here is the finished product, I hope that it helps to motivate you to get organized as well!
So I have divided my binder into 6 separate sections Cleaning, Cooking, Schedule, Finance, and Projects. Each divider has a place on the front to hold papers like a folder. In the very front of my binder I have all our animal shot records along with a place to write down any passwords or Login's that I may not use often enough to remember. Then in the front of my first pocket (Cleaning) I have our Emergency Information sheet that I typed up myself. This sheet has a place for emergency phone numbers, Home information, Childrens Names DOB, Pediatrician number, Poison Control, and what hospital to take the children to. This I keep lose in the folder so that if someone is watching the children I can just remove it from the binder easily and place it on the fridge.
Under the Cleaning section I have a list I have printed out from Fly Lady with weekly cleaning as well as a detailed cleaning list for each room in the house! Under the cooking Tab I have unclipped Coupons in the front folder, then a printout to write monthly meal plans. I put each of these meal plans into a page protector so I can use a dry erase marker on them, this allows me to re-use the pages over and over again! I also have printouts from My Litter. These printouts are the "Buy it now" Price list, it tells me what a bottom dollar price is on each grocery item, this way I know whether to buy or wait for the price to drop more. I also have a print out of the Sales Cycles, this tells me what is usually on sale for each month of the year.
In the Schedule Tab, I have my front folder filled with doctor slips for x-rays coming up or blood work that needs to be done. I also have a Daily Schedule (in a page protector) that can be easily changed if needed, A "My Morning Routine" for each of the kids, Our Bath Schedule for the week, As well as blank calendars for each month of the year (in a page protector for easy writing).
In the finance tab I have important information such as Bills that need to be paid in the front folder. I also have a calendar with each bill that will need paid on it's due date so that I know when all my bills are due.
And lastly, I have the project tab...this is where I put my personal projects/research. At the moment I have all my printouts that I will need to read up on for "Natural Birth" as well as notes I have taken about the "Holy Spirit".
And that is my binder for the moment! I love that I can just grab it and run out the door if I'm in a hurry and I have everything I will ever need from Menu's to schedules and important documents!
So I have divided my binder into 6 separate sections Cleaning, Cooking, Schedule, Finance, and Projects. Each divider has a place on the front to hold papers like a folder. In the very front of my binder I have all our animal shot records along with a place to write down any passwords or Login's that I may not use often enough to remember. Then in the front of my first pocket (Cleaning) I have our Emergency Information sheet that I typed up myself. This sheet has a place for emergency phone numbers, Home information, Childrens Names DOB, Pediatrician number, Poison Control, and what hospital to take the children to. This I keep lose in the folder so that if someone is watching the children I can just remove it from the binder easily and place it on the fridge.
And that is my binder for the moment! I love that I can just grab it and run out the door if I'm in a hurry and I have everything I will ever need from Menu's to schedules and important documents!
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