10 Reasons I CHOOSE to Submit to My Husband...........

Submitting to my husband is a CHOICE that I've made as his wife.  It's not something that he has forced me to do, or something that he expects me to do but something that I WANT to do!  Here is why....

1.  I am a very strong willed person.  I can be very opinionated and passionate about certain subjects and because of this I'm absolutely certain I had quite my share of temper tantrums when I was a kid!  Sometimes I need someone to make me humble.  I need someone to say, "Hey, you are wrong and you need to sit there and think about what you've done!"  (not that my husband actually says this) But I need that balance in my life of someone else who shares the same passions but isn't afraid to tell me when I need to "simma' down" a bit, or even at times, get more up in arms!  

2. I respect and honor my husband.  He is a very intelligent man who has inspired me immensely to go after my dreams.  I believe in him just as he believes in me.  I have learned so much from our conversations and debates and never stop learning from him.  He has taught me so many things about the bible and even just life in general.  

3. My husband respects me.  He holds me in high regard like his very own princess.  He really listens to the things I talk to him about and he never pushes me to the side because he is too busy.  I come first in his life after the Lord and his love for me is obvious.  

4.  He is my best friend.  We shop together, laugh together, have children together, eat meals together, do laundry together, clean the house together, pray together, and worship the same God together.  

5.  It creates unity in our home.  Submitting to my husband isn't what the world thinks it is.  It's not just me sitting back and keeping quiet and letting him make all the decisions.  It is being partners, having respect for each other so much that you don't WANT to make a decision without consulting the other person.  I am not required by my husband to ask him before I make a decision, I love him and value him so much that I WANT to include him in all my decisions.  For the most part we talk about everything together and we make decisions together!  If there is ever a situation where we do not agree (which never happens) then my husband will get the final say.  I don't have to like it, but that is the way it will be.  

6.  God says!

Ephesians 5:22-24: Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

But God also says:

Ephesians 5:25; Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

YES!! My husband is commanded to have so much love for me that he would die for me just as Christ died for our sins.  

7.   Because my husband loves me this much he would NEVER be bossy, rude, conceited, or selfish with the fact that I have chosen to be a submissive wife to him, but he is thankful, gentle, thoughtful, and receptive to all my opinions, passions, and temper tantrums!! 

8.  It is healthy for us to learn how to serve others besides ourselves.  Being submissive not only  has brought us closer together as husband and wife but it has taught both of us how to think of the other before ourselves.  He is always putting my needs before his, and I him.  Sure there are times we let ourselves get a bit selfish but because we have a great relationship where we can say, " hey I think that was a little selfish" to one another...we usually get right back on track.

9.  It keeps the sparks alive.  Well, we have 6 kids...need I say more?  :)   We love each other more today than we did the day we got married.  Because I've CHOSEN to be submissive it causes my husband to value me and adore me.  When you have someone who thinks of you first in all things, it makes you want to do the same for them and that can be very attractive!

10.  We have a great marriage.  Neither of us feels insecure, nor do we ever bring up the "D" word in our arguments.  We have disagreements, and get angry at one another BUT we know that in the end we will always have someone to hug and make up with when it is all over.  

You see being submissive is a JOY!  It doesn't steal away my rights as a woman or an individual but it brings me JOY as a wife, friend, and Child of God.  Trust me it was a struggle in the beginning and even now some days it still is, but the rewards and blessings that come out of our marriage is more than worth it.  

WE ARE HOME OWNERS!!!!!

Well folks....After 486 days of waiting, fighting, and praying- WE OWN OUR HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

At 3:00pm Today, Nathan, I and the girls met up with our Realtor, and for the first time since this started over a year ago, were able to meet the other people who have helped with the fight to get us our house!!  We had an amazing Loan officer who not only did everything she could to get us a fantastic rate, but also prayed with us through the entire process, as well as an Attorney and Realtor who did the same! We had tons of family and friends praying for us as well!  God had given us an army of saints who rallied behind us in our time of need!!  There were LONG hours, and days, and tears, and prayers for our home and in the End, God came through EVERY TIME!!  The Lord put in my spirit from the first day we saw this house that it was ours, and we didn't stop fighting until it happened!  I am so thankful for these people who stood behind us during this long draining and discouraging process....but I pray that it helped to strengthen their faith and that they were able  to see the face of God working in our lives along the way!

I have never in my life experienced such miracles over and over, one after another before.  I've come to see that God has everything planned out for us and had his own agenda for when and how it is going to happen.  I went through a period of time the last few years where the whole world was a dark place and the presence of God in my life was really hard to find.  I would cry out to the Lord daily in the midst of that darkness but the light was always so hard to find.  God has used an amazing chain of events from our baby Joy that we lost, to the birth of our baby Vaerity, and now the whole house situation to teach me that I can not control my own life!  I HAVE to rely on Him and only Him for guidance, because He is the only one in this world who knows what they are doing!  God does so many things that are hard to understand in our lives, but if there were no suffering there would be no need for the Lord.  "His strength is made perfect in our weakness."

After our closing we drove to Steak n Shake for a Celebration dinner!  When we got home we had a surprise waiting for us!!  It was the PERFECT ending to our long journey!!  Thank you Lord for all you've done for us!!  "My God has supplied all our needs"

God's way is the best way.....

One of the things I love most about my husband is that since he came into my life he has challenged me intellectually!  Nathan is the most intelligent person I've ever met in my life!  It was very attractive when we first met; however, when we got married and he would easily win our 32 hour arguments over biblical theology, (when I knew if I had the smarts to get across what I knew the correct way, I would win) his intelligence became completely frustrating!  I loved that he was smart and knew so many things but I hated that I didn't have a fair fight!  After several years I began to love reading!  I started reading everything in sight!  Pretty soon, before I knew it I was pulling out Nathan's old College level books and reading everything I could on the bible.  Before I knew it, we had a fair fight, (and I started to win quite a bit more)!  Of course I didn't completely, ONLY, decide I needed to do this to win a fight, it was more because I realized that there were a lot of people out there like Nathan that I had been running into over the years who would listen to someone who had proper training and intellect and can tell you WHY they believe something over someone who tells you something like "I just know it!"  Yeah, big difference!

My journey to becoming a life-long learner started when I enrolled as a first time student at Liberty University Online in December of 2011.  My intentions in going to college is that when I graduate with my four year degree I will be able to walk up to someone like Nathan and tell them WHY the bible is the truth, not just because God said so but also because there is real physical evidence, and I will know exactly what that is!  In the meantime this journey has put me on the path to other projects.  

When I had my miscarriage last year I went into one of the health food stores in the area.  I talked to the woman there about Nathan's back condition and how we've been trying EVERY form of therapy and medication we could to keep his pain at bay so that we didn't have to go through surgery.  She mentioned that there may be some essential oils that could help his back I might want to look into.  I did a few searches on the internet but let it go because I wasn't able to find much.  I hate that he has to take the medication he is on because while it may be prolonging his ability to go without surgery and pain, it is internally deteriorating his organs and health and shaving years off his life.  I need my husband he is my best friend, my other half, and I don't know how I EVER functioned in life without him!  I need him to be around for our six girls!

After learning this past year that Nathan has high cholesterol it forced me to take a look at our diet and the things we've been allowing in our bodies!  I started reading a book called "Real Food, What we eat and Why!"  It was amazing!!  It opened my eyes to so many things about our eating habits that I never knew before!  While I knew it would be a challenge for me, I knew I had to change the things I fed my family!  The junk going into our bodies from fast food and processed foods was killing us just as fast as Nathan's medications would!  While I knew that going completely organic right away for our family would not be effective because of cost, I knew that making small changes one by one would make a huge difference.  So we started with Raw milk.  Then we went on to eliminating canned foods, and boxed foods and we only buy fresh or occasionally frozen veggies.  I buy a lot of whole chickens, bake them and make my own chicken stock.  I've basically learned the basics of a good diet this year.

This road lead me down several other roads!  I saw a woman post in an online forum about being a Young Living Essential Oil distributor.  I immediately was interested because I knew that there was oils out there that could help Nathan and potentially get him off his medications.  I signed up and completed all the training courses for the first step within a day in a half!  I wanted to lean as much as I could about how these would work for my family!  If I had learned anything from learning about eating healthier it was that God has created all things to work for us naturally and everything just gets messed up when Man interferes!  God has supplied all our needs to help us with aches and pains, diseases and ailments and when we take certain medications that are man made we are trading one pain for another, or one discomfort for a more long-term discomfort.  This lead me to researching and learning all the combinations possible to treat my family!  So far we've been able to treat eczema, ear infections, exhaustion, temper tantrums, back pain, insomnia, and more, ourselves!  Every dose of tylenol, or advil that we take may help to relieve our symptoms for the short-term, but the long term effects it will have on us will end up being significant!

And again this lead me down another road.  I have a fb friend who has been posting a lot about vaccines and what is actually in them.  I have six children who up to now has all had their vaccinations on time and without question.  In the seven years I've been taking my children to the pediatrician I never ONCE thought "hmm....maybe they don't know exactly what they are doing."  Until now!  I've spent my entire night (between refilling milk cups, nursing a baby, and sharing my bed with two toddlers), trying to research the vaccines that I allowed our pediatrician (without question) to inject into my children.  I am walking away from that research completely shocked and sick about what I've discovered!  There is SO many different things I could say about what I've learned but let me just make a few points about it so this isn't a complete novel.

#1 According to NBC News in an article written 12/15/2010 Traditional cribs  that have a drop-side have been recalled and outlawed after more than 30 infant deaths within the last DECADE.

So, because of just 3 infant deaths per year for 10 years, they outlawed these cribs. 

#2   Most hospitals require or even automatically administer the Hepatitis B vaccination to newborns that are 12 hours old.  Hepatitis B can only be contracted  A. From IV Drug abuse, B. Sexual Activity with an infected partner, C. Blood transfusion, or D. from the mother.    (information received from articles.mercola.com) Between 1992-2005 there were 36,788 adverse reactions to the Hep B vaccine, and of these 14,800 were severe, life threatning or debilitating, and 781 people were reported to have died.  This is thought to also be an under estimate of deaths because most babies deaths were reported as SIDS and not as a reaction to the Hep B vaccine.

So you are telling me that after only 3 deaths per year for 10 years they OUTLAWED a crib; yet, after 36,788 adverse reactions within 13 years along with 14,800 life threatening and debilitating reactions, OH and PLUS 781 deaths- We are still REQUIRED to pump this into our newborn children three times over the first three months of their lives!    Does this seem outrageous to anyone else?  Not to mention my newborn will not be abusing drugs, or having sex.  If they ever need a blood transfusion all donated blood is completely tested for any sign of Hep B.  AND mothers can be tested for the HEP B virus to make sure their babies will not contract it.  So with all that in place is it worth risking the life of a newborn to get these vaccines?

Let me just give you one more little fact here I came across before I sign off...

#3 Pertussis: a highly contagious respiratory infection.  It is recommended that your child receive 4 doses of this shot between the ages of 2 months and 15 months.  According to the nvic.org website one of the main ingredients in this vaccination is formaldehyde!

When you look up formaldehyde on wikipedia.org, it states "Formaldehyde is highly toxic in all animals, regardless of method of intake"  they also state, "In June of 2011 the NTP report on carcinogens changed the listing status of formaldehyde from "reasonably anticipated to be a human carcinogen to KNOWN to be a human carcinogen!!!"   SO, they knowing put carcinogens in our vaccines that we are REQUIRED to give to our children?!  So we are as parents have to decide if we want to  trade an immediate solution to a disease that our children may or may not get for a long term problem later in life with cancer?  

My purpose of this blog post is to just put it out there that as parents we owe it to our children to make an informed decision on their health.  I regret that it took me THIS long to check it out myself but now that I did I know that we will be re-evaluating our choices from this point on.  Every decision we make will effect our children for the rest of their lives!  I've totally learned my lesson on the importance of research and knowing what we put into our childrens mouths as well as their bodies.  God had a perfect plan of how to combat our diseases naturally with the way we eat and the herbs he provided for us, why not trust his ways since they have been proven over and over again!  God's way is the best way!   

Do not be anxious........

Phil. 4:16 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God"

This has been the verse I've been clinging to this weekend!  Friday we received word that our attorney has been in contact with the mortgage company's attorney and that we should receive word "early next week" on their decision with the short sale agreement!

My stomach has been in knots and my sleep has been lacking, but my faith and prayer life have never been better!  The nights have been long and the days have been short, and those long nights have been spent praying and petitioning the Lord to give us favor!  During the day I feel shaky and distracted and completely panicked unless I can continue to be in prayer!  Prayer is the only thing that keeps me calm and focused the last few days.  When I lay down to sleep I begin praying until I fall to sleep, but that never happens...I just keep praying!  During the day I have to stop and have everyone come together and pray together at random times.  I can't even imagine God not answering our prayer after we've gone through all this so far.  Through the whole process God has constantly showed up and taken the impossible and made it possible!  Throughout all this, I've been able to say "I'm not horribly worried I feel like it will work out" and through it all it has worked out even when it has been bad news!  This time- I feel it's a final decision, this is the end, this is what we've been praying for, for SO long!  It's a bit scary to be honest!

If it's bad news, we will again fight for the house as long as we can until we have to legally pack up and head to the streets, but if it's good news this house will be used for God's glory!  This house will be used for Him to do his work!  My life is not my own, but His to do with it what he will- and I know he has plans to prosper us, and not harm us!  His will for us is better than my own!  Keeping these things in my head and remembering that "we are right where we are supposed to be, right when we are supposed to be there" and  that this is all part of His plan for us is all that keeps me going some days!

Thank God that we are able to flood God's news feed with our prayer petitions and he doesn't "De-friend" us but adds us as a "close friend," subscribes to our life and is able to "like" each prayer letting us know he hears us!  What an amazing God we have!  No wonder he tells us "Do not be Anxious" He has it all under control!

Baby-Dumplin's Birth Story.....

On September 4th, 2013 at 6:30 am, Nathan and I met our 6th daughter!!  Throughout my pregnancy we prepared for this day through reading books on natural birth, watching documentaries, and taking a Bradly class on Natural Birth.  This would be my first attempt out of 6 births to have a natural- drug free- delivery.

For five weeks prior I had been having contractions every night and lost so much sleep!  Anytime I would lay down, or sit down the contractions would start and last all night long; the minute I got up and walked around they would stop.  I assumed they were probably Braxton Hicks; however, they were slowly changing my cervix.  At 36 weeks I began taking Evening Primrose Oil, which is supposed to make it easier to dilate as well as Red Raspberry Leaf Tea which is supposed to strengthen your uterus.  We also hired an amazing Doula to help us through the labor and delivery process, we were really excited to work with her since she was also a believer and was committed to praying for me through my pregnancy and delivery.

We put together a birth plan for this pregnancy which was super new to me but fun to think about and type up.  From all I had gathered most Christian women have people speak verses over them while in labor and pray over them and that helps them to get through it.  For me I decided that I wanted to worship through labor.  I put together a playlist of praise and worship songs and let my Doula know that while having verses spoken over me was great, I would rather praise God through the pain.

At 2:20pm that afternoon I went to my 39 week prenatal appointment with my midwife.  The whole time I had been seeing the midwives (there are 4 of them) I knew that there was one in particular that I adored and would love to be in delivery with.  Not only that I knew she had a large family, homeschools her children and was a Christian.  Knowing that my midwife was a Christian made me more comfortable with my birth plan of praising God through the pain.  Anyways, so this appointment was scheduled with one of the other midwives and for weeks I had been trying to get in with the one I had wanted to deliver with but she wasn't available.  So I was super surprised to see her when she walked through the exam room door and my appointment ended up being with her after all!  I expressed to her how I've tried everything natural to get this baby moving, I ended up not being much more dilated than I was the week before but was 80% effaced.  She told me that I should take the "birth cocktail" and that would get things moving along for me.  I was to take 2 tbsp of peanut butter with 2 tbsp of caster oil.  The peanut butter would slow the oil down so that it didn't make me sick and on the toilet all night long!

At 5:00pm I took the Cocktail then sat down to eat dinner with my family.  After dinner Pumpkin and I went for a walk and when I got back I noticed some things starting to change.  By 8:00pm that evening I began to contract.  The contractions felt different than the one's I had been having the last few weeks; however, they were stronger still when I laid down or when I sat up, but when I stood the pain wasn't as bad but I still was feeling pressure.  For the next three hours we texted my Doula, and counted contractions which from the beginning was 2-3 minutes apart constantly but still I was hesitant that it wasn't real labor since it didn't hurt as badly when I stood up!  So we called Nathan's mom and asked her to come over so we could go walk around walmart.  The paper I had from the midwife said that if it was real labor it would get worse with walking, so that was what we needed to do.  We went ahead and loaded the car before we left with our hospital stuff and while walking around getting that all in order the contractions were getting more intense.  We got to walmart around 12:00am and gave my midwife a call.  The one I wanted in my labor was on call that night!!  She said she thought I would probably be ready to come into the hospital in about 2 more hours and to just relax and save my strength.  So then I remembered that if I was in the early stages of labor I needed to get something to eat!!  We got in walmart and they were waxing the floors.  Nathan went and bought me one of their already made subs and we walked around walmart while I was in laboring and eating a sub!  I was in complete fear that my water was going to break on their newly waxed floor!!  My doula met us at walmart about 45 minutes later and walked with us, made me laugh to take my mind of things and gave suggestions on how to get through the contractions as they started to get stronger.  Around 2am we went back to my house.

We sat in the living room and talked and laughed while I rocked on the birth ball between contractions (since it hurt to sit during a contraction).  Then around 3:34am we decided to head to the hospital before contractions got too painful to be in the car.  On the car ride I felt things start to pick up a bit and it hurt worse when Nathan would take turns so to comfort me he prayed over my stomach and then started to sing a praise song "Child of God" and I joined in, in between contractions.  We arrived at the hospital around 4am and was taken directly to a room.  I put on my own clothes and was examined.  I was 6cm upon arrival.  I was preparing to get hooked up to the IV for the first 20 minutes and then the plan was for them to unhook me; however things didn't go exactly according to the plan.  I kept asking when it was going to be done because I was ready to move away from the bed and get in the tub but I don't remember getting much of an answer.  As they were monitoring the baby and I was heading into 7-8cm the contractions got even more intense.  My doula and midwife had me on my knees facing the back of the bed with my arms over the head of the bed.  During contractions my doula had a heat pack on my back and was massaging my legs and feet (which was helping a ton).

Finally my midwife told the nurse "Go get the doctor."  I realized she was talking about me and trying not to scare me but I knew there was something wrong.  She explained to me that the baby's heart rate was above 200 and had been for a prolonged period of time (about 45min).  She said there were several factors that could be causing that and usually it was a fever but in this case I did not have a fever.  She said it was very dangerous for the baby and she wanted to doctor to come in and give us some options. At this my heart skipped a beat and I knew we were talking about a C-section.  From what I know about C-sections most doctors tell you once a C-section always a C-section.  And once you have one it has the potential to limit how many children you can have.  I began panicking and worrying about my baby, and everyone could tell I was beginning to stress!  They kept me on the IV, and added oxygen to see if it would help but it wasn't really helping.  While waiting for the doctor to arrive anytime I had a break in contractions I just stared at the monitor praying her heart rate would normalize.  Then all at once I felt my midwife put her hand on my back, my doula put her hand on my leg and Nathan put his hand on my stomach and it got super quiet...they were all three praying for my baby and I could feel the presence of God in the room!  Within minutes her heart rate began to lower and normalize contractions became more intense and it was time to be checked again.  I was now at 9cm and my bag of water was bulging so we broke the water and it was time to push.

Out of the entire labor I felt like the contractions were tolerable the entire time until it was time to push!  I did not expect pushing to be that hard and that intense pain.  With my other labors I had an epidural and so pushing was easy!  1-2 pushes and the babies were out!  This one was harder, I actually had to work to push the baby out!  It was still just a few pushes but with more effort than I had though I would have to give!  When the baby finally came I was so focused on pushing that I didn't realize they had already put her on my chest!  I couldn't hardly catch my breath in order to calm down and see her!  I could feel her warmth and hear her cries but my mind wasn't putting the timeline together in order yet!  She was beautiful though when I could finally look at her.  She had tons of black hair and weighed 7lbs 5oz; the biggest baby I'd had yet.

I was so surprised at myself that I was able to get through a natural labor, I never thought I would be able to do something like that.  I did think about the epidural once while pushing and wondered why in the world I wanted to do something like this.  After the delivery I decided that having another baby anytime soon would probably not be in the cards right now, I would definitely need some time to allow my mind to forget the pain.  But over all I could feel God's presence the entire time and that is what carried me through to the end.  Knowing that God was there watching over me and my baby, knowing that God heard my cries that if it was His will for us to have more children after this baby then please do not allow me to have a C-section that will limit that.  I also remembered Nathan telling me that the reason I had not had the baby yet (the week before) was because God had perfect timing and he knew every detail of how it was supposed to be and maybe if I had her earlier I wouldn't have had the midwife I wanted there.  He was so right; maybe if I had her earlier my midwife would not have been there to help pray for my baby!  So thankful again for God's perfect timing!  Nathan was amazing as well, he was by my side the entire time (even when his back was hurting he still stood next to me and wouldn't move).  He told me how great I was doing, prayed for me, sang to me, and rubbed my back when I needed him to!  He was amazing!!

We are now at home after two nights in the hospital.  The girls are thrilled to have a new sister and I do not see her having any alone time anytime soon!!  Goobies, was the one I was worried about!  I had thought since she had become so spoiled by all the girls being the baby for the last two years that she would be really jealous!  She is so possessive of the baby that she will tell everyone to leave her alone and "Don't touch my baby!"  She says it is HER baby!!  She even cries when we take the baby from her arms or tell her she can't hold her right now.  She says that the baby is "ADO ABLE" (adorable).  lol

I'm so thankful for my family, God has answered my prayers for a large family, a loving Godly husband, and more love in my life than I could have ever imagined!  I knew this year was our year of "Jubilee" or  "Jubili" -where God was going to bless our family abundantly after  6 years of famine and long suffering.  I am so overjoyed to see that those blessing have started pouring in by the bushels and I could not sing the God's praises enough for all his provision, protection and joy he has given me!  I am beyond blessed!!  

God's provision.....

They say that patience is a virtue, but that is one area of my life I've never been good at ESPECIALLY while pregnant!!  I actually recall a conversation once I had in one of my early pregnancies; I was huge, miserable, and ready for it to be over and someone said to me "I guess God is teaching you patience!"  Well the normal me would have smiled and walked on the hormonal me came out instead and replied, "God doesn't teach pregnant women patience, He knows better!"  While we laughed about my unexpected response (I didn't even expect it) it became something God would later use to prove me wrong!

When Nathan and I got married we purchased a 3 bedroom 2 bath rancher.  We never dreamed that we would have so many children to fill it up with!  While he had about two children in mind, I knew I wanted a large family but never imagined that the definition of large was over four.  Over the 10 years we've been together and talked about our expectations for our family and future our views on what a blessing Children are, birth control, and trusting God began to change and develop into something we would have never imagined.  Never once have we ever had a conversation in our ten years that went anything like, "lets have six children!!"  It began with one, then unexpectedly we were expecting the second and then God began to change our hearts to want what he wanted for us and not just what we wanted for us.  So needless to say our home has filled up quickly!

After the third baby I began praying that God would bless us with a larger home.  For over five years I have prayed that if God wants us to have many children he would supply us with our need for a larger home.  I didn't want anything fancy just something that we could fit in comfortably, expand our family if it was God's will, and have room for homeschooling (which we believe we were called to do as well).  Once we had baby #4 I began to agonize over this home that did not look like was in our future!  I HATED our home, I could not stand to be here, it was suffocating and embarrassing that we were all shoved in here, and I couldn't invite people over because we had no where for them to sit!  Finally after four years of praying for a larger home the economy took a dive and the housing market went down with it.  We began our search to find a larger home for the same price we bought our rancher for and rent out our current home.

We looked at several homes but nothing that would really fit us.  I began looking for something around the same size as what we already had but with 4 bedrooms and a dinning room.  I didn't want anything huge just something that worked.  We quickly realized that we would soon be in the same situation as we are in now if we upgraded to only 500sq ft.  and had to look at larger homes over 2000sq ft.  Nathan would ask me "how will we know when it's the right one?"   I'd tell him "we will just know!"   We found a really nice white house that we liked, we had a few reservations about it but overall we liked it and it would fit us and fit our price range.  We put a contract on it and it was verbally accepted then 30 minutes later we received a call that they received a better offer and was going to go with that one!  We were heartbroken and I almost didn't want to look anymore!  But we kept on.  FINALLY we found the one!  It was over 2200 sq. ft, 4 bedroom, 3 bathrooms, fireplace, dining room, play room, fenced in back yard, and in a culdesac, so the kids can finally learn to ride bikes!!  It was perfect for us!  As we walked around the back yard I prayed and asked God if this was the one, and a figure came into my mind as to what to offer on the house!  The amount I felt we should offer was 20,000 less than the asking price, and 43,000 less than the assessment price of the home!  Once we found out the home was a short-sale and was owned by Indy Mac/ One West we really were hesitant it would go through.  Indy Mac/One West is known for not approving short-sales because they make more money on forclosures sense they are backed by the government.  After a three month wait we were told by BOTH selling and listing agents that they did not believe this short-sale would ever happen!

I had such peace about that house, I just knew it was the right house and could not let go of it!  So we kept our contract on that house (although it was outdated) and kept looking just in case.  We came across another home we loved and put a contract on that one.  It was beautiful but had a lot of water issues in the yard; we ended up not getting that one.  After that we had decided to give up on the house for a while.  I was so stressed at the time, being almost in my second trimester of pregnancy with baby #6, that I couldn't handle all the stress from it all.  We decided to still look at what came on the market but unless it had everything we wanted we wouldn't go see it.  We were not settling.  Mean-while, I was praying and praying for the other house to somehow come through!!  We had so many set backs with it but finally in May we received a call that they would approve and close on the home within 45 days!!  We renewed our paperwork and waited, and waited, and waited and heard NOTHING!

In the meantime I prayed, and prayed and prayed!!  We realized that if we didn't find a home before the end of the year we would have to wait several more years before we started the process again so this was the end of the line for us!  I began to understand the meaning of giving things over to God!  I would get so stressed and have to pray and ask God to take it from me, and my burdens were lifted!  I realized that there was no need in worrying about things because this house belonged to God and it was up to him if He gave it to us or not, not the bank!  So I began to pray differently and think about things differently.  I realized that our home we are in now was given to us by God as well.  Why would he give me another if I didn't appreciate the one I had and hated it so badly?!  so I began to organize our home and make things more comfortable for all of us to fit here.  It gave us so much more room and comfort that I began to really love my home!  I actually began to pray and thank God for this home!!  My prayers changed from "please I can't stand living here anymore Lord I'm drowning!"  to " thank you Lord for this house you have blessed our family with, thank you for giving us shelter and the ability to make it comfortable for all of us who live here."  I also told God that I knew the other house belonged to Him and if it was His will please bless us with it.  Once I finally realized the house belonged to God and not the bank, it made being patient (even while pregnant) so much easier!

We got word they were doing an assessment on the home to see how much they should sell it for.  I began to get nervous because I couldn't see how they would ever sell that home to us for the price we offered  (only 10k more than we paid for our rancher but 1242 more sq ft.) especially after seeing what the homes around it were worth and the house market had started to go up again.  One day we were out and about and the kids all fell asleep in the car (which is rare for all of them)!  We decided to take a drive and let them nap a while.  Nathan told me he wanted me to go over by the new home so he could pray over it and claim it as ours.  He said when Jerry Falwell wanted to buy the land for Liberty University he walked the mountain prayed over it and claimed it as his!  Now he has one of the largest Christian Universities there in the world!  So we did just that.  We stopped by the house and Nathan walked around the home and prayed and asked God to bless us and claimed it in Jesus Name for our family.

After two weeks of hearing nothing more; I became weary.  There were many things I have been praying about for many weeks (not just the house) that had began wearing on me; not to mention I was STILL pregnant!!  One night I just could not sleep so I got on my knees in my living room and began worshiping God.  For over an hour I sang praises to Him and just sat in his presence.  Finally I began praying, first thanking him again for our home, reminding him that his word says, "ask and it will be given to you, seek and you shall find" and then reminding him how long I've been asking and seeking and that I was weary!!  I needed a breakthrough!

Finally the end of August (2 days after my prayer) after almost a year wait, we got word they had approved our short-sale!  Not only had they approved our short- sale but they did not even try to up the price, we got it for the price God had showed us to ask!  Not only was I extremely excited but I felt so unworthy that God blessed us in such an amazing way!  I knew if it was God's will it would happen but maybe I just never felt it was God's will to bless us?!

We are finally in the process of closing on our home.  We have all the paperwork in order and inspection scheduled.  It does not seem real to me that we are finally moving, but I will never take that home for-granted that is for sure!  I've never been more thankful to God for showing us that He is faithful to provide all our needs!  Now if I can convince Him to let me go into labor I'll be on top of the world ;)

Living blindly and trusting the Maker

A few months back, we were all sitting at the dinner table eating, laughing and talking like families do, when I noticed that Sweet-pea was crossing her eyes!  At first I thought she was just messing with us and trying to be funny but then I realized that it was ONE eye that was crossing inward to her nose, and it became more frequent!!  Of course as a mother we always think the worse especially with something that sudden, my first thought was brain tumor!  So before even finishing my dinner I went straight to the phone and started googling and calling eye doctors.  We got an appointment for the very next morning.

Being a large family we are late a lot!  I am the type of person who starts getting a bit panicked when we are running late and am constantly saying, "okay get in the car, quickly!!"  Our little Sweet-pea is on her own time clock.  She takes her time and enjoys everything, especially our blooming daisy's in the front flower bed.  Every time we leave the house, she has to walk over to the daisy's and pick at least two!  One for mommy and one for her to hold in the car.  I constantly find myself saying "COME ON, Please we are going to be late, you can pick them when we get back!! HURRY!  Get in the car!!"  Day after day Sweet-pea ignores my every plea!  She has to find the most beautiful flower, she has to pick it just right with her thumb and pointer-finger, then she has to make sure mommy gets it before getting into the car!  

At our appointment we learned that Sweet-pea (2) is extremely farsighted and has an astigmatism.  I was so completely blown away that I had not noticed any symptoms until now!  They say that you can look in a persons glasses and that is how they see without them; lets just say I have no idea how that child could have ever seen a thing without them!!  She has had her glasses for over a month now and is doing wonderful with them.  I'm sad that she will have to have glasses for the rest of her life, but I am thankful that we caught it when we did!  

God has been working on my heart a lot the last few months.  He has really used the waiting period of the house we've been wanting to purchase (10 months) to teach me how to rely on him and not be such a worrier.  I find myself start to panic over things but then I start to remind myself that these things are not in my control, God is in control and he has it under control!  I pray a lot, and then I put it completely out of my mind and focus on something else!  For instance anytime I get any news on the house I start to panic that things won't work out quite the way I hope.  So I pray, and then I put it out of my mind by focusing on what I do already have, like organizing the house we have now!  I am such a worrier and this is such a huge step for me.  Anytime I hear anything about problems with our extended family or friends I start to worry then I cannot get them out of my mind and I drive myself crazy over it.  But God has really shown me that I need to let go and allow him to drive the boat.

Since deciding to have a natural birth this time around, my first instinct was fear!  I was so afraid of the pain and discomfort it would bring and just did not know that I could suffer through it that long! One day as I was thinking about it it was like God told me "if you can trust me to give you as many kids as I want you to have, why can't you trust me through your labors?!"  And it hit home with everything in my life.  Trusting God to decide how many children to have is a HUGE deal!  Most people I know that would be the one thing in their lives that they would want to control, it affects everything from house size, to car size, to income, budget, etc.  But for me I feel that is the easiest thing in my life to trust God with...so why can't I trust him with the smaller things and stop all the worrying?!  

So I started thinking about my Sweet-pea and how she doesn't have a worry in the world!  Here she was almost unable to see a thing in her world yet she still managed to pluck the most beautiful flowers from the bunch every time, and she could have kept them for herself but she wanted me to have them!  She could have cried and screamed that she couldn't see the flowers, she could have ignored her entire world, but she trusted that it was beautiful even though to her it was probably just a blurred image of white.   This is how I see my life now, a blurred image of white that I'm trusting will be beautiful in the hands of God no matter the outcome.  

On another note we are getting really excited about the baby!  I will be 35 weeks friday!  I've had two babies at 35 weeks, one at 38 and the others were induced at 37,  and 39.  So it's anytime after friday!!  I am praying though that I will make it at least to 36 weeks. Since I am seeing a midwife they will not be able to be with me in labor unless I am at least 36 weeks!  I do believe this is the first baby I've had so far that I've not been extremely anxious for the pregnancy to be over.  I've, for the most part, enjoyed being pregnant this time around.  I've been nesting like crazy, part of it is what I talked about above with the whole "take care of what I already have" and leave the rest up to God thing, but a lot is nesting as well!  Here are some photos of things I've made and the organization I've accomplished the last few week in preparation for the new baby!  I've been in Organization Heaven!!!   

Our Medications

 Our Spice Cabinet

 Our Sugar, Flour, Oatmeal

 The girls hair things

 Our homeschool supplies

 Coloring books and Crayons

 Homemade Dishwashing detergent, Orange Multi-purpose Cleaner, Laundry Detergent, and Fabrid Softner!

 New Born hat

   Hats for the girls! 

And there is lots more not pictured!  I wish I had this nesting urge all the time!!!

Mamma Do you Love me????

I woke up this morning and my first priority was to get my house in order.  I have been working non-stop for weeks trying to get things back in order, and re-arrange the girls rooms.  They were all in the same room for a while and we separated them into two rooms.  Of course when we did that everything from cleaning out their rooms made it into my room and into the living room and the rest of the house became a good mix of chaos, then add that to the 13 days I was at the hospital with my dad last month that hasn't gotten caught up yet and we have ourselves a little nightmare!!

I've been studying about the New Testament in my Bible 110 class I'm taking through Liberty University.  I am a Religion major so I'm loving the bible class!  The last few weeks though I've been noticing that Simon-Peter, one of Jesus' disciples has been really sticking out to me!  Now, last year I wouldn't have been able to tell you any of what I'm about to tell you about Simon-Peter because I didn't know anything about him, except that he was a disciple.  But just stick with me through this and you will get where I'm going with all of this.

  First of all (just a few things you need to know) he does not listen very well, but has a strong personality.  Jesus called to him three times before he committed to following him.  When Simon first came to Jesus, he was actually brought to him by Andrew...he didn't willingly go in search for Jesus, but when he found him he responded to the call of Salvation, Jesus right away changed his name from Simon (which means listener) to Peter (rock).  Simon was FAR from a listener, and seems to be a stubborn man which I believe is why Jesus gave him the name Peter.  (John 1:42)

The second calling to Peter was when he and Andrew was in their boats casting their nets.  Jesus tells him to come and follow him, asking him to commit to service.  He told him he would make them fishers of men.  (Mark 1:16-17)

The third calling was in Luke 5:1-11.  Peter had been out fishing all  night casting his nets and he had pulled everything in and was ready to quit when Jesus told him to head back out and cast out his nets.  Keeping Peters personality in mind (not being a listener, but stubborn) replied back to him, "Master we have toiled all the night and have taken nothing, nevertheless at thy word I will let down the net."  Notice Jesus told him to let down all the nets, but Peter (and I can imagine him being a little grouchy and irritated from being up all night fishing) said he would let down THE NET.  ONE net!  After he let down his net they caught so many fish that their boat started to sink. Peter then fell at Jesus feet and called him LORD.  This was when Peter finally committed himself to Christ.

So today I decided was the day to move around my bedroom, box up a bunch of boxes for storage, get out the clutter, and I had plans to just work hard on my room!  My room is the catch all, if people are coming over everything gets put in my room, if the kids come in here so do their toys, if we don't have a place for things, guess where it ends up!  So it was time to take back my room!!  I started at 9am picking up all the stuff off the floor, then moving my bed to the other side, then the dresser, and then I had to put it all away.  About half way through I found myself looking around wondering if anyone would notice if I just left it that way and didn't finish!  lol  It was a disaster!!

During my cleaning session the kids were kinda doing their own thing.  PBS kids was on the TV, a couple of them were in Pumpkin's room playing, then they would go back to watching tv, the baby would wonder in my room and love on me then she would head back out.  Sweet-pea kept coming in  and I would just tell her to not touch things, then scoot her on out the door so I could get finished.  Around lunch time I got them lunch and they ate while I continued working on my room.  I just kept saying "I have got to get this done today!!"  Nap time came and I put the kids in their beds and told them to stay, and again I went back to cleaning and packing and putting things away.

Around 4:00 (7 hours into my project) the kids were again playing and romping around in their rooms and in walked Sweet-pea again.  She walked right up to me and said "mamma do you love me?"  At first I was taken back by what she said and was a little surprised and said, "Of course Sweet-pea, I love you!"  Then she looked at me again and said "MAMMA  do you love me?"  Again I said "yes baby I love you!"  Then again she repeated, "MAMMA DO YOU LOVE ME?"  at this point I was puzzled and changed my reply to "Honey, I love you with all my heart!!"  She said, "with all your heart!" and walked out!

I couldn't get this out of my head the rest of the day.  I kept thinking about when Jesus asked Peter if he loved him, in my head but then I'd just push it aside and thought, she was just being cute.  So tonight after the girls went to bed I did my school.  I was about to go to bed when I heard in my head "Mamma do you love me?"  I began to think about our life the last few months and how hectic it has been.  I've gotten in that mode again where I have a mission to get something done and  I do it and just kinda go through the motions of making dinner, and lunch, and changing a diaper then getting back to what needs done for the day while the kids are occupied.  But I kept thinking about Peter!!

In John 21:15-17 it says " When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."  Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."  The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep."

The first time Jesus asked Peter "do you truly love me" he used the greek word "agapao" which is normally used to describe the type of love that God has for us, it's a unconditional love, a committed love.  But Peter replied  "Lord you know that I "phileo" you!"  Which is a brotherly love.  Peter was also referring to the fact that he had denied Jesus three times when he was crucified, so he probably was thinking  "what is he thinking asking me if I am capable of loving him this way look what I did!"  Again Jesus asks "Do you "agapao" me?"  And again Peter Responds "Yes Lord you know that I "phileo" you!"  then the last time he says "Peter do you "phileo" me?

Picturing this conversation I can see Peter feeling taken back by the question the first time, feeling a little shocked that he asked him that.  Then the second time I'm sure he was getting frustrated, and then finally when Jesus changed the way he said it Peter was beyond frustrated.  Looking back it took Peter three time to actually commit to following Jesus, three times he denied him, and three times he was told if you love me feed my lambs, take care of my sheep, feed my sheep.  If you love me you will obey my commandments!    GO, bring in the sheep, feed the sheep pastor the sheep!

When my dad was in the hospital an old friend came up to visit who had recently started a church.  He and his wife have five children as well, most in college.  I had a few minutes to visit with him and so I asked how the church was coming along.  He told me that it was doing great and they have a steady number, but it was on the smaller side.  He told me that God had really put on his heart that growing a church was the same as raising his children, he had to invest in the hearts of the people in his church the same way he had to invest in the hearts of those children.

So this evening when my baby looked at me and asked "Mamma do you love me?"  She was asking me if I was invested in her heart!  Will I lead her, fill her with God's word, and guide her along the right paths in her life?  I've been so convicted recently about parenting with a gentle spirit and when we discipline to discipline by address the problem in their hearts not the outward problems, so when she said to me what she said It just completely blew me away!  I get so busy sometimes and I don't realize that I just shoo them along, and I don't realize that I haven't sat down and snuggled with them today.  So while yes we should be a light to the world, we should bring in the sheep, fill them with God's word, and pastor them....we can't let our children get lost in the herd.  Sometimes things get so chaotic that we don't realize that they haven't had that mommy time or daddy time today.  Lead, pastor, and fill your children, their hearts are crying out for it...I know my children are.  Tomorrow we are going to have lots of snuggle time!!

In God's Hands....

As I walked in circles around my house this afternoon praying for my family who was inside, I turned my attention to my overgrown garden from this past summer.  From where I was standing it was a mess, there was no possible way at this point in the game to get any type of edible harvest out of that disaster of a garden!  As I got closer and really focused on the actual plants that were there, instead of everything else growing up around it, something caught my eye.  I saw the largest, most amazing prize winning Jalapeno I've ever seen in my life!  I couldn't understand for the life of me how in the midst of  all the thorns, weeds, and rotting plants all around it, this pepper managed to continue growing, and became exactly what it was meant to be.  Never once, since July, have I been out there to water it, weed it, or even check on it.  It was left completely in God's hands as to whether or not it would thrive.  And that's when it hit me...

As my children were "quietly" playing in their room this afternoon, they had managed to sneek the baby powder past me into their room.  Here I thought they were playing well and really getting along, but what they were really playing was who could look more like their "Nanna"  (my 95 year old great-grandma).  When I heard them say "I look just like Nanna now!"  I knew....  As I rounded the corner and saw my 4 oldest children completely white from head to toe, I thought, "well that's not anything a bath can't solve."   I told them all to get in the tub, and went back into their room to find a white powdered mess!!  From what I can understand Sweet-pea (2) was standing on the doll house making it "snow."  And snow it did.  Everything from toys, to blankets, to clothes, walls, beds, are covered!!  This is where my anger began to get the best of me and I had to take further steps to not allow that.  So I put the air purifier in there, and locked and closed the door.   Out of sight, out of mind right?  Hardly!

You see last night, my husband and I had started reading the book "Praying Circles around your Children"  together and began praying for our children together.  The book was great and talked about how we will make mistakes as parents but prayer covers a multitude of sins!  How we have to just lift up our children in prayer and that is the most important thing in their lives.  And the minute those prayers left our mouths last night for each of our children, it was like Satan himself stepped into our house and tried to completely destroy us.

Now I know you are thinking "wow all this over a little powder?"  NO, not a little powder.  A LOT of powder!!  And not just this one incident, it has been several recently, this was just the icing on the cake.  The attitudes that came from our children as we talked to them about what they did and there was no remorse, just I don't care attitudes, was devastating to me.

After bath time I made the little ones lay on the couch and the big girls sat in a chair in the corners to think about what they did.  We ate lunch, and then it was nap time.  Two were in my bed, and two on the couch, while I sat in the hallway trying to figure out what to do.  I made three trips back outside and around our house praying over it and my family and asking for wisdom and patience.  I felt my head beginning to explode and tears running down my face, I began to pray even harder!  "What was I doing wrong?  Why can't I get through to them?  Why would you give me this many children when I can't raise them the way I am supposed to?  How am I supposed to be a gentle parent when they do things like this?  You don't know how this feels your son was perfect!"  That is when I saw the Jalepeno....

"Yes my son was perfect but I allowed his blood to be shed to cover your imperfections, the way I see you is the same way I see him, because you are under his blood."

 hmmm....  "I'm sorry Lord, forgive me"

"This Jalapeno was left in my hands to do what I wanted to do with it, and even in the midst of the weeds, and storms I still protected it, and allowed it to become exactly what it was supposed to be."

"your right Lord, I just need to leave them in your hands!  again, please forgive me!"    

The answer was that easy!  I guess I just take my children's behavior way too personal.  My desire for them to have a soft heart and love each other and live for Christ is not something I can make them do...but I can teach them and pray that they will do it.  And  that is what I realized today...I need to pray without ceasing in all circumstances no matter what!!

It's amazing the lessons that I learn from my children's mistakes, I just hope that they will learn lessons from my mistakes as well.  I told someone the other day I feel like I'm walking blindly...well I guess I kinda am, I'm placing them in God's hands and praying that he will help me to be the mom they need, and that in the midst of storms, and weeds, he will allow my children to grow up to meet their purpose in life...Living for Him.

In the meantime, they will be spending the day cleaning up their mess in their room.  In the past I've helped them with their messes like this, but I believe that now it is time they start to learn how hard it is to clean up their messes.

The Joy of the Lord.....

So last night I was so excited for my  husband to go on his men's retreat with the church today that I could not sleep at all!  I tossed and turned all night long!  I went through my list of things I needed to wash for him, pack for him and put together for him to take, and I racked my brain on how his back is going to be comfortable in those horrible mattresses on the bunks there.  I prayed all night asking God to give him relief from his pain while he was on his trip. All this week he has had major back pain and started having muscle spasms in the upper part of his back.  He ended up at the doctor and was put on yet another medication.  I really felt this was a spiritual attack since God knew Nathan really needed to get away and be refreshed and spend time with him.  But we pushed through with prayer and he left for his retreat this afternoon.

While I was up last night I also read a bit in my new book I just got.  "Created to be his Help Meet"  by Debi Pearl.  The chapter I read last night was on having the Joy of the Lord.  This is really something I struggle with badly.  When Nathan and I first met I was a fire cracker!  I was happy, joyful all the time always laughing and smiling, and now seven in a half years later life has taken some of that joy away.  I still feel joy in my heart, we have a great life together and are very blessed, however; I just don't take the time to make that joy end up on my face much.  I am SUCH a "martha" now days.  It's been so hard for me the last few months to just sit down and enjoy time with God, or just be joyful in things.  I've felt like our lives have been on this strict time table and my motto has been for the last six months, "I just have to get this finished!"  But nothing ever is finished, there is always more to do every minute of my life!  This book made me realize that I want to be a gentler person.  I was to speak gently to my children and not harshly, I want to discipline them with a gentle spirit and not in anger.  I want to be a gentle wife for my husband, I want to be a good happy inviting person overall.

So that was my goal this weekend while Nathan was gone.  We (me and the girls) will be praying for him while he is there, and also praying that God will help us have the joy of the Lord for when he gets back.

Already tonight I have had several tests!  The minute Nathan walked out of the house I decided to start prepping the kitchen to make dinner for me and the girls.  I put something up on the counter and before I knew it the HUGE jar of pickles that was sitting there fell onto the floor and shattered to pieces!!  Normally, because Nathan is such a through person, he is the one who cleans up broken glass.  I can never get it all picked up and fear I will leave some behind and the girls will get hurt.  So I picked up all the large pieces but because of the pickle juice all over the place I could not get the smaller pieces.....so I laid towels down all over that part of the floor to soak up the juice...and that's where they stayed......... now I'm not sure what to do.  If I pick up the towels they could have glass all over them so do I throw them away??  UGH!!

So then I took the girls outside to play for a while.  They had a blast.  While we were out there I decided to try an experiment.  I spoke Pumpkin's name very gently and quietly and she immediately turned and said yes?  I was surprised!  So I tried Hobble-bobble's name, and again she looked at me and said "yes mommy?"  again shocked!!  So Little Bear was the big test since she can ignore me a ton!  And she looked right at me and said "yes?"  WOW!!  So I waited a few minutes and tried it in a harsh tone. First Pumpkin....she just kept jumping and didn't respond.  Then Little bear...again kept jumping and no response....and lastly Hobble-bobble...still no response!

So as we try to change our hearts this weekend and our voices, and our faces ;)  please keep our family in your prayers!!  I want nothing but joyfulness coming out of my children's lives, and I want my husband to be excited to come home to a joyful, pleasant wife!

House fire...

Nathan and I got married in 2005.  When we married we never imagined that God would bless us with so many children in such a short time, so we bought a house that was 1,095 square foot, three bedrooms, and two baths.  We purchased this home right before we got married, and after a two week honeymoon in Cancun, a week later we found out we were expecting our first child!  We moved into our home a month later and have been there ever since.

God has used this tiny home to mold me and shape me into the person I am today.  Who would have ever thought that he could use our living situation to strengthen our faith.  After a few months in our home, we realized that there was a leak in the kitchen.  We shut off the dishwasher, and the leak stopped.  We began to pray that we would get a new kitchen floor for free, because the floor was messed up from the water.  So for the first few years we washed dishes by hand until we were able to save up some money to get the leak fixed.  By the time 2009 came I was pregnant with baby #3 and somehow the leak got worse and just shutting off the dishwasher didn't work anymore.  We came home to water gushing up between the floor boards in our kitchen floor!  We were so upset and had no idea what to do, or that we could even afford the amount of money it was going to take to clean up that mess!  So we prayed!  Someone mentioned we should call our insurance company, so we took the chance and did it.  Although it was a huge headache, a huge mess, and a long process; God answered our prayers!  Not only did he give us a brand new floor for FREE, he gave us a BRAND NEW KITCHEN!!  They replaced the cabinets, the flooring, we were able to add MORE cabinets, and painted the entire kitchen!  We got a 14k kitchen for free!!

Not only were we praying for the floor in our kitchen, but we were praying that God would supply us with a new refrigerator!  While ours worked perfectly, it was cracked on the door on the inside and was held together by duct tape!  While they were doing the flooring in our kitchen they were being pretty rough on our fridge and when they were finished with it and had it back in place, it would cool my feet as I walked past it instead of our food that we had inside!  So we ended up getting a new fridge for FREE because they had damaged the one we had!

After baby #3 things became very tight in our home.  The living situation was becoming crowded, but still do-able.  I think my biggest complaint was that we didn't have storage space.  So I began to pray for a larger house!  I didn't need something huge, just something big enough for the family we had, plus room to expand that family with how ever many more children God wanted to bless us with.  After baby #4, I just became bitter!  I was angry that we didn't have a larger house yet and I didn't even feel financially that we were able to even make that step to look for a larger house because everything larger was a higher payment.  As our family got larger our house became smaller!!  

One day I was listening to a CD from our homeschool convention.  There was a woman talking about how bitter she had been because God would not bless her with a larger house.  She realized that she had been so obsessed with wanting a larger house that she couldn't enjoy what God had given her.  Her "larger house" became an idol to her.  As I listened to this story, I was immediately convicted that I was doing the exact same thing!  So I repented, and began to love the house that God had already blessed us with.  I built a garden out back, and we got a trampoline and swing set and we love our back yard!!  We made our kitchen into a homeschool classroom (who says a kitchen has to be decorated like a kitchen) and we love our learning space.  I love our spacious new kitchen.  There are so many things that I have fallen in love with about our little house, that I became completely comfortable and content with not moving ever!  UNTIL A MONTH AGO>....

Everyone in our family has had birthday's this year.  They are all getting so big.  Our 5th baby is 1 year old now and everyone is walking and climbing and fighting, and no one gets naps because they are all sharing a room and keep each other awake all day long!  I have a whole house full of crabby, babies!!  So after lots of talking, Nathan and I decided we needed to start looking.  We decided the best thing would be to rent out our home and buy another.  So we started looking.  We chose a Realtor who has been a family friend since I was little.  I actually used to babysit his daughter!  He has been fantastic!  After months of looking we kept going back to this ONE house that was just perfect for what we needed!!  

We felt for sure this house was the only one on the market so far that was that large, in a good neighborhood, and had a school room, play room, office and 4 bedrooms, at an affordable price.  We were pre-approved to get another home without having to sell our current home, which I felt was a miracle!  So we drew up an offer for the house and felt very peaceful!!  We were told it was accepted, but thirty minutes later another offer came in and they said they would let us know in the morning because they had to allow the seller to decide the next day.   

That night all 7 of us got on our knees and prayed that if it was God's will he would give us that house!  The next morning I woke up with a song in my heart:

    "Lord you are more precious than silver, Lord you are more costly than Gold, Lord you are more     beautiful than diamonds, and nothing I desire compares with you."

I knew immediately that God was teaching me a lesson and testing my faith.  Could my desire for that home compare with my desire for God himself?  Who did I desire more and seek after more...the house or my Savior?  That morning I woke up with a heart-change.  I knew that morning even before I received the call that we would not be getting that home, and that God had other plans.  And sure enough I received the call that they went with the third offer.  I was heartbroken over it, but I wasn't torn down.  I knew that God had a plan and there was something else out there for us!   

So for now we remain in our crowded, suffocating, loud, chaotic small amazing house that we were blessed with from God, because to Him those things were not important.  What was important was that we made God and only God, enough for us.  That we seek him and want him more than we seek and want a larger house because it will make things easier in our lives.  I've learned that God isn't in the business of making life easier, but he is in the business of making life a series of fire pits that will shape us and refine us as we walk over the burning embers, through the fire to the other side.  This time it just happened to be a "house fire."  We never look the same as when we went in, and once we are melted and shaped we never go back to the way we were before.  That I am thankful for.  I pray that through this process he continues to mold our hearts for him!   

        

Meningitis, Rabies, Strep....lessons from God...

My last post was only 13 days ago and so much has gone on since then, it feels like it's been over a month at least!  So last I wrote Pumpkin wasn't feeling well, she had gotten bitten by our hamster and then the hamster died and she came down with a fever, vomiting and sore neck.  After trying to make her comfortable all night long, she was still screaming in pain from her neck and stomach.  I waited till 8am and called our pediatrician to get an appointment.  The earliest they could get her in was 11am, but she was laying on the floor and had endured pain all night long I didn't think I could make her wait any longer.  So I put her in the car and took her to Patient First.

When the doctor came in she asked me what was going on.  I told her she had gotten bit by the hamster on Thursday, the hamster was dead Friday morning, and Pumpkin came down with a fever friday night.  She was vomiting, had a high fever, pain in her neck, and stomach pain.  The doctor asked what the hamster died from, I told her the pet store told us "wet tail."  So she said she would go research it and get back to me.  She was gone about five minutes when she came back and told me that she thought Pumpkin may have gotten meningitis from the hamster.  She did not examine her at all, did not look in her throat, did not look in her ears, did not feel her neck nothing!  She then gave me a note and sent us to the ER.

Once at the ER, the first thing they did was ask her to touch her chin to her knee, which she did, and they said she wouldn't be able to do that if she had meningitis so that was ruled out.  So then they said their main concern is that she could have rabies!!  WHAT!!  Pumpkin had tons of scratches from the kitten on the tops of her hands, and they started questioning me about the kitten.  They wanted to know if it had it's shots yet.  I told them we actually had an appointment this morning but we ended up there instead.  So they started saying that we need to give her shots for rabies.  They said that if she was exposed to it, they can only treat it within the first 10 days and after that there is nothing they can do for her.  So I started panicking a bit.  But as I stood there and prayed asking God what to do, it dawned on me that I too had cat scratches on my arm and I wasn't sick!  If we did the rabies shots for Pumpkin it would be like 15 days of shots!  So I told them I was pretty sure it wasn't rabies because I would be sick too!

They ended up calling the health department because they said they have to report animal bites.  They said that they were going to come and get the cat and keep him for a while to make sure he didn't have rabies.  I asked why they reported the cat because it wasn't a cat bite it was a hamster bite.  They said the health department wasn't worried about the hamster, just the cat scratches.  FINALLY they stopped worrying about the animals and actually examined Pumpkin.  They felt her neck which had lumps all around it and she had puss on her tonsils.  She ended up testing negative for strep, but they said it was strep because of the symptoms.

I was pretty angry that they had me in fear all day long that my child was dying from meningitis and rabies, when if they had checked her in the first place they would have found out that she was just sick with a virus.

By the time I got home the health department had been here, they dug up the hamster and took it for testing. They said they weren't worried about the cat at all!  When I got inside the house I gave Sweet-pea a hug to discover she had a fever!  And later that night I ended up at Kid med with her and Goobies.

As usual they all passed it around and were sick for about a week or two.  They had ear infections and were all on antibiotics.  I asked the doctor when I was there, if this could be happening so much this year because maybe I'm not cleaning something good enough?  He said they are all inner ear infections and cannot be caused from any type of germ, it if from their ear tubes not developing correctly yet.

So, last week was my last week of summer classes.  I really enjoyed my bible and evangelism class.  I learned two important things in those classes that have already really helped me quite a bit.  #1: being humble is always viewing everyone else as better than you.  #2 trusting the Holy Spirit to work, will usually result in better results than if we do it ourselves.

I think having a large family has really made me insecure.  I always feel the entire world is always waiting to pounce on me.  We've had so many rude comments about the size of our family, and feel like people are just waiting to prove that I'm a bad mother for some reason.  I feel even more pressure to make sure they are clean, well dressed, well educated, and well loved because I feel like people think that large families like ours  neglect their children.  I have problems with thinking that people are always trying to think they are better than me, or that they think they are more spiritual than me.  Not that I think I am more spiritual or better than them, but it makes me feel like I have to strive to be even better, if that makes since.  So, if I can just think that everyone IS better than me, then it makes things so much easier, and takes so much more pressure off!

Also this week I've learned a great lesson on giving my problems over to God and trusting him to take care of things.  Nathan and I have been looking for a new house.  We are planning to rent our our house and buy a new one. We were not sure we would be able to qualify for a loan to do this but after applying and giving it over to God, we DID!!  We found a house that would be perfect for us, but then the house would not qualify for the type of loan we have to get for our situation.  So we are still looking.  Also last week was the last week of my summer classes.  I worked day and night, and into the mornings trying to finish up 3 weeks in 3 classes.  My professors had extended the courses till Sunday but I still finished on Friday!  Saturday I saw that my Evangelism professor gave me a ZERO for my discussion board because she said she could not accept late discussion board work.  I was so shocked seeing as how she told me that she removed the due dates for all my assignments and just keep her informed on my progress.  When I messaged her about it she said that she would give me a 70 for the misunderstanding but that's all.  She ended up forwarding the issue to her supervisor to make a decision.  I prayed and gave it to God!  Sunday She messaged me back and told me that since my final grade will be an "A" anyways her supervisor wasnt too concerned about it.  I was so relieved!  I too told her then I wasn't worried about it as long as I get an "A".  So...I have finished two semesters so far with a 4.0 GPA!

Monday was the first day of my fall classes.  This time I'm taking American History and another Math class.  Things are going well for us right now and look to be on the upswing.  We are very excited about the next few weeks!  Pumpkin & Little Bear started Upword cheerleading monday.  They LOVE IT!  I can't get Pumpkin to take off her uniform!  Nathan's parents are moving their Jewelry store into a new location downtown in the James Center on the 1st of September!  We are very excited about that!  And we are going on Saturday to look for some more houses.  We are praying that the right house will come along.  We are in desperate need of more space!!  We have a 1,000 square foot house for the seven of us right now and really need something bigger!  We are also getting things cleaned up and organized and ready to start homeschooling this fall, in about two more weeks!  We are so ready to get back on a good schedule!!