Thank you.....

So today is 1 week since we lost Baby Joy.  I was completely overwhelmed with the positive response I received from my post about our loss.  I had people I haven't talked to in a long time reaching out to me and comforting me, letting me know that I wasn't alone in what I was experiencing or feeling.  It was because of that and all the prayers I was able to get through last week as gracefully as I did.

I know I probably didn't take it as hard as some, although maybe I took it harder than others, but I was able to see God working in the situation and that gave me hope and the ability to pick up and keep going.  I took about three days to mourn.  It was a lot harder than I thought it would have been before I experienced something like that. Since then, I've had mixed emotions, but for the most part I am doing okay.

The one thing I've experienced (that I was told I would) was the fact that it will never go away.  That baby will always be a part of  my life.  This is so completely true!!  This is probably the hardest aspect of things.  I find myself thinking "at Christmas time I would have been telling everyone that we were expecting"  like we had planned.  I've caught myself thinking about how far apart Jubili and this baby would be.  Thinking about how far along I would have been this week, how big the baby would have been.  I honestly didn't think that I would do those things.  I thought I could mourn, and just pick life back up and go on but I really can't without this baby being in my daily thoughts.

 I never realized what a connection I have to these babies at such an early stage until now.  And what a special gift that God has given us to be able to love a baby so unconditionally and so fully before we have even met them, or even if we don't get to meet them!  It makes me understand the Love that God has for us just a little bit better.

Anyways I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has sent me your prayers, comments, messages, phone calls, texts....your support has not been forgotten or taken lightly.  I've learned that it's in these very moments we know who our true family, and friends are, as well as who our new friends should be!  Thank you, words cannot express the gratitude I have for all of you!