Bitter-sweet...

I've been having an inner struggle the last few weeks with frustration.  God has blessed us above and beyond all I could have ever imagined the last two months; yet those blessings have not come without lots of sacrifice, patience, long suffering, and physical labor.  The best I can describe my struggle is a natural childbirth.  You know you are going to have an amazing baby that you have prayed over and loved, yet you have to wait 9 months to hold her, and you have to go through some uncomfortable times, then during labor the pain builds up from a dull uncomfortable pain to a thriving intense pain that is not relieved until the birth of that baby.  During that time of labor (in my experience) I didn't really find much to complain about.  Everything was happening mostly the way I had planned, and I knew holding my baby was just around the corner so what was there to complain about...just make it to the next corner- it was almost over!

That is how I've lived my life this last year, "just a little longer, just make it to the end of the month!"  Last time I wrote we were about to close on our home.  It seems our journey to purchase this home has taken another turn.  We had a closing date for 9/27/13.  We had all our movers lined up, carpet cleaners lined up, flooring was going to be put down; just the essentials for moving in.  We did the home inspection and found out both HVAC units were broken, and the water heater was broken.  So we planned to repair (but ended up having to replace) the water heater but the HVAC units would have to wait.  We would have to tough it out for a while with no AC or Heat until we could save up the money to get them working again.  Again, I couldn't complain, God gave us this house we can do without for a while right?!  When our closing date fell through our agent arranged for us to have early occupancy of the house so we didn't have to reschedule everything!  We moved in that Sunday with the intentions of closing on the house Monday!  When closing didn't happen monday we were told FOR SURE Thursday!  Thursday comes and NO Closing!!  Appearently the lady who owned the house had two mortgages on it through the same bank, that bank decided to sell the second mortgage to another bank in the middle of us closing!  So after waiting on the short sale to be approved for over a year; we were back at square one and had to wait on it to be RE-approved by the new 2nd mtg. holder!  (LONG SUFFERING I TELL YA!) Not only did it have to be re-approved, but it also had to be re-approved through the bankruptcy court which that process alone takes 30-60 days (from what I was told).  So here we are still living in the house rent free and we haven't closed on it yet! So you see my delema, I'm living in this wonderful home that God has provided for us, yet we don't own it and at anytime they could tell us to get out!  Do you allow  yourself to be frustrated about things or enjoy the blessings that you have?!  Unpack or live out of boxes?!

After a lot of praying and seeking we felt like God wants us to have a larger home and we really felt like things were going to work out.  So we unpacked...and we are still unpacking!  We also decided to go ahead and find renters for our old house and get it cleaned up!  With Nathan's back problem he cannot do a lot of physical work so most of that burden would lie on me.  I have spend the last three weekends at the old house along with a few days during the week painting, repairing and cleaning.  My parents have been great with helping us when they have been able too and as much as they could (with their health), but the majority of it has been on my plate.  So from the day I came home from the hospital on 9/6 till today I have packed up an entire house, moved, unpacked most of the house, painted an entire house, done minor repairs, planned for our homeschool year to start in november and nursed a baby every hour in a half in between.  I found myself painting the old house some nights feeling like I wanted to lay on the floor and cry!  I'm still sore from having the baby, my entire body is sore from all the physical labor, and emotionally I'm barely making it through because I just want to get finished to enjoy my new baby and spend time with my family!  I didn't get that week or two in bed nursing the baby and having pajama time with the girls and I want it more than anything!!  So each day I've painted with a bitter-sweet disposition that I want so badly to be finished and be with my family, yet, I'm almost done!  So this week is the final week that will complete it all!  All the painting inside is done, outside is being done today and tomorrow; carpet is being laid thursday, appliances are there, and we just have to stain the porches this weekend and put the final touches on things.  We have a great renter and that is another blessing and answer to prayer!

Today I took Hobble-bobble and Baby Dumplin' to their well-checkups.  Baby Dumplin' is 9lb 14oz!  I wasn't surprised because she does nothing but eat; and Hobble-bobble was in the 50th percentile!  They are doing great!  On the way home I got a call from my husband that Pumpkin had a fever!  Well, with us not having any AC or Heat it has been pretty cold in here at night and we've all been waking with sore throats.  I had thought this morning when Pumpkin told me she didn't feel well it was just from that but by the time I got home tonight she was burning up!  She had two baths and tylenol and still had a fever of 101.2.  Finally before bed she was able to eat a little something and I'm praying we get through the night without any vomit because I'm exhausted!!

So there it is my bitter-sweet life I love it all and don't want to be frustrated or complain yet I just need a week long pajama party with lots of dancing, singing, and sleep!!  It's just around the corner- I know it!!