Thursday, April 17, 2014

What large families face....

Signed onto my blog today and was going to do an update of our last few weeks.  I saw there was a new comment so I went to read it and here is what it said:

"speaking of getting over it... why don't YOU get over yourself. what makes you think that anyone is even interested in the fat that you're pregnant. AGAIN. its old news by now. not to mention how sickening it is that you DON'T support them on your own and you rely on taxpayers and IMO it boarders downright recklessness. the rest of us are already over it. the only people left to comment are the ones who are just learning about you. and for the rest of us, it is kind of shocking and abnormal.~ Quiver of One~"

I was going to just delete it and let it go because obviously this person does not even know our family, or maybe they do and they are just hateful and didn't have the courage to let us know who they were, but I wanted others who don't understand why I get so defensive of large families to see the ignorance of some people!  Automatically this person thinks that we do not support our children ourselves, automatically this person thinks we are being reckless and abnormal.  What they think does not, nor would it ever, change my mind about how many beautiful children we have or will have. The only thing I would like to clear up is that we pay for every one of our children on our own and do not get government assistance, nor would we want it- we would not want the government in our lives more than they have to be.  Just because someone has a large family doesn't mean that they can't afford them.  So in response to your nasty comment Quiver of One: If you do not like reading about "shocking and abnormal" families, then move on and find another blog to read.  Your negativity is not needed here!  I'm very sorry that you are probably struggling with issues in your own life that causes you to try and bring others down, your comment does not affect how we feel about our family and what God has chosen to bless us with.  Praying that God will open your eyes and heart to see what a blessing Children are whether there are 10 of them or just one!  


  1. We struggle with similar judgement about our four boys, mostly from family. At the end of the day you're so right. I have to remember to just let go, and let God. Some days are a struggle, but everyday I will gladly do it all over again because they are the best things that have ever happened to me.

  2. Way to go girl!!! It is not anyone's business how many children you have!! You have a beautiful family and I for one look up to you! You are an amazing Mom, and a wonderful Christian woman! Don't let small minded people bring you down! You are great!!

  3. To me, Quiver of One is looking strictly at justifying the fact that she probably couldn't handle another child if she had it. She sounds like she is a frustrated parent who doesn't have the support of an involved husband/father like you do. I admit, those kind of men are rare. But I don't want that fact to take away from the phenomenal job that you do with the girls. When a family has two dedicated parents who are not distracted by getting ahead on their jobs and/or their own selfish agendas, having lots of children is not a problem, but a delight. I'm not saying that everyone should do as you have done, but if there are those who can, I say "More power to you!". The more children who grow up in the love of parents and Christ, the more strong and moral families this country will have. I could NEVER have done what you're doing because I just don't roll that way. Quiver of One should not feel intimidated by your family, but understand that she is doing what is comfortable for her life. I sense that she is a bit put off that you able to do what you do, so she expresses her "sour grapes" in the form of generalized judgment that disguises what she perceives as her lack as a parent. Otherwise, she would not have had to reach out and write what she did. If what you do didn't bother her, she would have had no need to verbalize and try to tear down your accomplishments as a mom. To her (Quiver of One), I say, "It's okay to have just one child; that's your personal choice. But that doesn't make you a "quiver", for a quiver is for containing as many arrows as it can hold. And for many folks, one isn't enough.
    I will say this on behalf of Mrs. Cooper and her husband. They are hard-working folks who take care of their own. If you read her blog and FB page, you'll see all the things she does above and beyond just feeding, clothing, and keeping her girls safe. The time she spends with them is because her husband works well enough to let her stay home to do so. She is not standing at the mailbox anxiously awaiting a government welfare check so she can go to the grocery store and buy cheap, unhealthy processed foods to slap in the kids' mouths to shut up their crying and whining and spatting with each other. I've never seen a picture of one of the girls with snotty noses, unkempt hair, running around in smelly diapers. They are always happy, smiling, and busy being little girls. They are caring and compassionate like their parents. The job Tonika is doing is proof of the pudding. Just look at those healthy, happy girls!
    Quiver, if you can't do the same for your one child, I can understand why you feel the way you do. Perhaps you didn't have the support of a great family, didn't have the kind of parents that Tonika has. And so you struggle with your one arrow. I can guarantee you that Tonika struggles too some days, but she not only has her parents, her husband, her church friends to turn to, but she has the Greatest Dad of all - Our Heavenly Father Who is always there to help. Tonika knows who she is and Whose she is! That's what makes the difference between her and someone who may struggle raising their own children.
    So, Quiver, please don't judge what you don't really understand. Family is EVERYTHING. All of us here will pray for you to be what you really want to be - a good parent, whether it be for one child or many. God bless you!