Dad is doing better.....

So many times this week I've found myself asking, "God why do you trust me with so much during the times that I feel so weak?"  It seems every time I feel like "okay I've got this thing" in life, that things twist and turn down another unexpected path.  I believe I should have a doctorate in chaos by now and a Masters in dealing with stress!  lol  God has done so much in my life the last two weeks I just don't even know where to start.

Being a mom of five children 6 years old and under, life can be overwhelming at times.  I think the last year has been a bit more overwhelming because we were just getting used to having baby number four when baby number five came along.  At times I feel like "okay we got this thing."  but then the kids change, life changes and everything is out of my control!  There is no rule book for having a large family.  I know some people think I am crazy for having so many children, and even more crazy for wanting more, but in the midst of the worse day we could have, is the best days of my life.  Sure I may get frustrated, I may even complain a bit but I wouldn't change the course of my life for anything.  There has never been a day when I have wished that I had a smaller family!  Now, I have had days when I thought, "was I crazy for wanting so many children?"  But never would I want to go back to not having them, and nor would I feel like I would not want more children.

I've spent the last two weeks trying to teach my girls a valuable life lesson.  On October 1st, I received a call that my dad was in the ER.  My father has struggled with heath issues for the last six years so when he is in the ER it is usually because of something major!  My first priority in life then changes, making sure my mother is fed, and taking care of herself emotionally and physically, as well as making sure I am there for my dad goes to the top on my list.  I have the most supportive husband ever and we are always on the same page with these things, so the first thing he said when he found out about my dad was, "GO!"  And that is what I did for the last two weeks!

My girls have this amazing connection with me, yet it is frustrating at times.  My oldest really has a hard time when I am not around more than a day.  She begins acting out and being not quite herself.  When she was younger she would protest my being gone by pooping all over the floor...not that she is older it's more of an attitude change.  She gets upset and angry and treats her sisters and Nathan badly.  After a week of being in the ICU with my parents my dad was starting to stabilize and I was able to start being home earlier.  At dinner I asked her "why have you been acting this way, are you mad because mommy hasn't been here?"  She said "YES!"  So I was then able to explain to her that while my family is my first priority, when papaw gets sick or if mamaw got sick, we need to put our wants and needs aside to help them!  My family is healthy, and while with me gone it may turn to utter chaos,  the most important thing is being there for the ones you love when they are in need.  Sometimes we may not always WANT to do things, but doing the right thing is more important than doing what we want!  If I were sick like papaw, I would want my children to be there for me, loving on me, taking care of their dad, making sure I knew that I was not in this by myself...and that is what I need to do for papaw.  This was a huge lesson for the girls to learn how to put others before themselves!

I also realized that there needs to always be that one thing that I tell my children, that when I am gone they can look back and remember "mom always said.....".  So the last several weeks when we have our talk time I have made sure to include, "the most important things in life is to love God with all your heart, strive to be a Godly woman, and always remember that what we want to do isn't always as important as what the right thing is to do."  I pray that with this written on their hearts they will always think of this before they make decisions.

So 13 days later my dad is finally going home today!  It was a long, exhausting and emotional journey for all of us, but God was faithful and answered our prayers!  There was a period of time last week we did not think he would come out of this!  When I was in 3rd grade I remember my dad was diagnosed with an obstructive lung disease.  I was so scared he would die!!  I remember praying every night before bed "Lord please let my dad live to see my graduation!"  In June of 2000, my dad was sitting in the gymnasium of my High School watching me walk the line to get my diploma!  Then my prayer became "Lord please let my dad live to see my children!"  In February 2006, May 2007, June 2009, August 2010, and September 2011  he was there to hold my new born baby girls in his arms!  Since I know we are not done having children I know that that prayer is still valid!  But it has changed again recently, "Dear Lord please let my dad live to see me graduate college, see how my children turn out, and hold his great-grand babies!"  I believe that God will answer my prayer!

I am finishing up my last week of American History class this weekend, and spending time getting my house back in order from the chaos, my kids back in order with their behaviors, and our sleep schedules back on track before my new classes start next monday.  I am so thankful for the life lessons that God allows us to teach our children whether they will be painful, happy, shocking or sad.  I'm thankful that God continues to teach me and deal with my heart in the midst of situations like this, I pray that he can use me to help others see things in their own hearts that they need to deal with as well.  We should never stop seeking to be a better person, we should always continue to learn from what we go through, get back up on our feet (no matter how long it takes) and teach others to do the same from what we went through!

Huge thanks to everyone for praying for my family these last 13 days.  

In God's Hands....

As I walked in circles around my house this afternoon praying for my family who was inside, I turned my attention to my overgrown garden from this past summer.  From where I was standing it was a mess, there was no possible way at this point in the game to get any type of edible harvest out of that disaster of a garden!  As I got closer and really focused on the actual plants that were there, instead of everything else growing up around it, something caught my eye.  I saw the largest, most amazing prize winning Jalapeno I've ever seen in my life!  I couldn't understand for the life of me how in the midst of  all the thorns, weeds, and rotting plants all around it, this pepper managed to continue growing, and became exactly what it was meant to be.  Never once, since July, have I been out there to water it, weed it, or even check on it.  It was left completely in God's hands as to whether or not it would thrive.  And that's when it hit me...

As my children were "quietly" playing in their room this afternoon, they had managed to sneek the baby powder past me into their room.  Here I thought they were playing well and really getting along, but what they were really playing was who could look more like their "Nanna"  (my 95 year old great-grandma).  When I heard them say "I look just like Nanna now!"  I knew....  As I rounded the corner and saw my 4 oldest children completely white from head to toe, I thought, "well that's not anything a bath can't solve."   I told them all to get in the tub, and went back into their room to find a white powdered mess!!  From what I can understand Sweet-pea (2) was standing on the doll house making it "snow."  And snow it did.  Everything from toys, to blankets, to clothes, walls, beds, are covered!!  This is where my anger began to get the best of me and I had to take further steps to not allow that.  So I put the air purifier in there, and locked and closed the door.   Out of sight, out of mind right?  Hardly!

You see last night, my husband and I had started reading the book "Praying Circles around your Children"  together and began praying for our children together.  The book was great and talked about how we will make mistakes as parents but prayer covers a multitude of sins!  How we have to just lift up our children in prayer and that is the most important thing in their lives.  And the minute those prayers left our mouths last night for each of our children, it was like Satan himself stepped into our house and tried to completely destroy us.

Now I know you are thinking "wow all this over a little powder?"  NO, not a little powder.  A LOT of powder!!  And not just this one incident, it has been several recently, this was just the icing on the cake.  The attitudes that came from our children as we talked to them about what they did and there was no remorse, just I don't care attitudes, was devastating to me.

After bath time I made the little ones lay on the couch and the big girls sat in a chair in the corners to think about what they did.  We ate lunch, and then it was nap time.  Two were in my bed, and two on the couch, while I sat in the hallway trying to figure out what to do.  I made three trips back outside and around our house praying over it and my family and asking for wisdom and patience.  I felt my head beginning to explode and tears running down my face, I began to pray even harder!  "What was I doing wrong?  Why can't I get through to them?  Why would you give me this many children when I can't raise them the way I am supposed to?  How am I supposed to be a gentle parent when they do things like this?  You don't know how this feels your son was perfect!"  That is when I saw the Jalepeno....

"Yes my son was perfect but I allowed his blood to be shed to cover your imperfections, the way I see you is the same way I see him, because you are under his blood."

 hmmm....  "I'm sorry Lord, forgive me"

"This Jalapeno was left in my hands to do what I wanted to do with it, and even in the midst of the weeds, and storms I still protected it, and allowed it to become exactly what it was supposed to be."

"your right Lord, I just need to leave them in your hands!  again, please forgive me!"    

The answer was that easy!  I guess I just take my children's behavior way too personal.  My desire for them to have a soft heart and love each other and live for Christ is not something I can make them do...but I can teach them and pray that they will do it.  And  that is what I realized today...I need to pray without ceasing in all circumstances no matter what!!

It's amazing the lessons that I learn from my children's mistakes, I just hope that they will learn lessons from my mistakes as well.  I told someone the other day I feel like I'm walking blindly...well I guess I kinda am, I'm placing them in God's hands and praying that he will help me to be the mom they need, and that in the midst of storms, and weeds, he will allow my children to grow up to meet their purpose in life...Living for Him.

In the meantime, they will be spending the day cleaning up their mess in their room.  In the past I've helped them with their messes like this, but I believe that now it is time they start to learn how hard it is to clean up their messes.

The Joy of the Lord.....

So last night I was so excited for my  husband to go on his men's retreat with the church today that I could not sleep at all!  I tossed and turned all night long!  I went through my list of things I needed to wash for him, pack for him and put together for him to take, and I racked my brain on how his back is going to be comfortable in those horrible mattresses on the bunks there.  I prayed all night asking God to give him relief from his pain while he was on his trip. All this week he has had major back pain and started having muscle spasms in the upper part of his back.  He ended up at the doctor and was put on yet another medication.  I really felt this was a spiritual attack since God knew Nathan really needed to get away and be refreshed and spend time with him.  But we pushed through with prayer and he left for his retreat this afternoon.

While I was up last night I also read a bit in my new book I just got.  "Created to be his Help Meet"  by Debi Pearl.  The chapter I read last night was on having the Joy of the Lord.  This is really something I struggle with badly.  When Nathan and I first met I was a fire cracker!  I was happy, joyful all the time always laughing and smiling, and now seven in a half years later life has taken some of that joy away.  I still feel joy in my heart, we have a great life together and are very blessed, however; I just don't take the time to make that joy end up on my face much.  I am SUCH a "martha" now days.  It's been so hard for me the last few months to just sit down and enjoy time with God, or just be joyful in things.  I've felt like our lives have been on this strict time table and my motto has been for the last six months, "I just have to get this finished!"  But nothing ever is finished, there is always more to do every minute of my life!  This book made me realize that I want to be a gentler person.  I was to speak gently to my children and not harshly, I want to discipline them with a gentle spirit and not in anger.  I want to be a gentle wife for my husband, I want to be a good happy inviting person overall.

So that was my goal this weekend while Nathan was gone.  We (me and the girls) will be praying for him while he is there, and also praying that God will help us have the joy of the Lord for when he gets back.

Already tonight I have had several tests!  The minute Nathan walked out of the house I decided to start prepping the kitchen to make dinner for me and the girls.  I put something up on the counter and before I knew it the HUGE jar of pickles that was sitting there fell onto the floor and shattered to pieces!!  Normally, because Nathan is such a through person, he is the one who cleans up broken glass.  I can never get it all picked up and fear I will leave some behind and the girls will get hurt.  So I picked up all the large pieces but because of the pickle juice all over the place I could not get the smaller pieces.....so I laid towels down all over that part of the floor to soak up the juice...and that's where they stayed......... now I'm not sure what to do.  If I pick up the towels they could have glass all over them so do I throw them away??  UGH!!

So then I took the girls outside to play for a while.  They had a blast.  While we were out there I decided to try an experiment.  I spoke Pumpkin's name very gently and quietly and she immediately turned and said yes?  I was surprised!  So I tried Hobble-bobble's name, and again she looked at me and said "yes mommy?"  again shocked!!  So Little Bear was the big test since she can ignore me a ton!  And she looked right at me and said "yes?"  WOW!!  So I waited a few minutes and tried it in a harsh tone. First Pumpkin....she just kept jumping and didn't respond.  Then Little bear...again kept jumping and no response....and lastly Hobble-bobble...still no response!

So as we try to change our hearts this weekend and our voices, and our faces ;)  please keep our family in your prayers!!  I want nothing but joyfulness coming out of my children's lives, and I want my husband to be excited to come home to a joyful, pleasant wife!

House fire...

Nathan and I got married in 2005.  When we married we never imagined that God would bless us with so many children in such a short time, so we bought a house that was 1,095 square foot, three bedrooms, and two baths.  We purchased this home right before we got married, and after a two week honeymoon in Cancun, a week later we found out we were expecting our first child!  We moved into our home a month later and have been there ever since.

God has used this tiny home to mold me and shape me into the person I am today.  Who would have ever thought that he could use our living situation to strengthen our faith.  After a few months in our home, we realized that there was a leak in the kitchen.  We shut off the dishwasher, and the leak stopped.  We began to pray that we would get a new kitchen floor for free, because the floor was messed up from the water.  So for the first few years we washed dishes by hand until we were able to save up some money to get the leak fixed.  By the time 2009 came I was pregnant with baby #3 and somehow the leak got worse and just shutting off the dishwasher didn't work anymore.  We came home to water gushing up between the floor boards in our kitchen floor!  We were so upset and had no idea what to do, or that we could even afford the amount of money it was going to take to clean up that mess!  So we prayed!  Someone mentioned we should call our insurance company, so we took the chance and did it.  Although it was a huge headache, a huge mess, and a long process; God answered our prayers!  Not only did he give us a brand new floor for FREE, he gave us a BRAND NEW KITCHEN!!  They replaced the cabinets, the flooring, we were able to add MORE cabinets, and painted the entire kitchen!  We got a 14k kitchen for free!!

Not only were we praying for the floor in our kitchen, but we were praying that God would supply us with a new refrigerator!  While ours worked perfectly, it was cracked on the door on the inside and was held together by duct tape!  While they were doing the flooring in our kitchen they were being pretty rough on our fridge and when they were finished with it and had it back in place, it would cool my feet as I walked past it instead of our food that we had inside!  So we ended up getting a new fridge for FREE because they had damaged the one we had!

After baby #3 things became very tight in our home.  The living situation was becoming crowded, but still do-able.  I think my biggest complaint was that we didn't have storage space.  So I began to pray for a larger house!  I didn't need something huge, just something big enough for the family we had, plus room to expand that family with how ever many more children God wanted to bless us with.  After baby #4, I just became bitter!  I was angry that we didn't have a larger house yet and I didn't even feel financially that we were able to even make that step to look for a larger house because everything larger was a higher payment.  As our family got larger our house became smaller!!  

One day I was listening to a CD from our homeschool convention.  There was a woman talking about how bitter she had been because God would not bless her with a larger house.  She realized that she had been so obsessed with wanting a larger house that she couldn't enjoy what God had given her.  Her "larger house" became an idol to her.  As I listened to this story, I was immediately convicted that I was doing the exact same thing!  So I repented, and began to love the house that God had already blessed us with.  I built a garden out back, and we got a trampoline and swing set and we love our back yard!!  We made our kitchen into a homeschool classroom (who says a kitchen has to be decorated like a kitchen) and we love our learning space.  I love our spacious new kitchen.  There are so many things that I have fallen in love with about our little house, that I became completely comfortable and content with not moving ever!  UNTIL A MONTH AGO>....

Everyone in our family has had birthday's this year.  They are all getting so big.  Our 5th baby is 1 year old now and everyone is walking and climbing and fighting, and no one gets naps because they are all sharing a room and keep each other awake all day long!  I have a whole house full of crabby, babies!!  So after lots of talking, Nathan and I decided we needed to start looking.  We decided the best thing would be to rent out our home and buy another.  So we started looking.  We chose a Realtor who has been a family friend since I was little.  I actually used to babysit his daughter!  He has been fantastic!  After months of looking we kept going back to this ONE house that was just perfect for what we needed!!  

We felt for sure this house was the only one on the market so far that was that large, in a good neighborhood, and had a school room, play room, office and 4 bedrooms, at an affordable price.  We were pre-approved to get another home without having to sell our current home, which I felt was a miracle!  So we drew up an offer for the house and felt very peaceful!!  We were told it was accepted, but thirty minutes later another offer came in and they said they would let us know in the morning because they had to allow the seller to decide the next day.   

That night all 7 of us got on our knees and prayed that if it was God's will he would give us that house!  The next morning I woke up with a song in my heart:

    "Lord you are more precious than silver, Lord you are more costly than Gold, Lord you are more     beautiful than diamonds, and nothing I desire compares with you."

I knew immediately that God was teaching me a lesson and testing my faith.  Could my desire for that home compare with my desire for God himself?  Who did I desire more and seek after more...the house or my Savior?  That morning I woke up with a heart-change.  I knew that morning even before I received the call that we would not be getting that home, and that God had other plans.  And sure enough I received the call that they went with the third offer.  I was heartbroken over it, but I wasn't torn down.  I knew that God had a plan and there was something else out there for us!   

So for now we remain in our crowded, suffocating, loud, chaotic small amazing house that we were blessed with from God, because to Him those things were not important.  What was important was that we made God and only God, enough for us.  That we seek him and want him more than we seek and want a larger house because it will make things easier in our lives.  I've learned that God isn't in the business of making life easier, but he is in the business of making life a series of fire pits that will shape us and refine us as we walk over the burning embers, through the fire to the other side.  This time it just happened to be a "house fire."  We never look the same as when we went in, and once we are melted and shaped we never go back to the way we were before.  That I am thankful for.  I pray that through this process he continues to mold our hearts for him!   

        

Safely Home...

As I read through my Evangelism text books a few weeks ago, there was a quote in there from the book Safely Home by Randy Alcorn.  I was immediately intrigued since I recognized that book as being on my "to read" list for a good year now.  So I checked the price on Amazon for my kindle and then I decided to check the library and see if they had it for kindle.  THEY DID!!  I was ecstatic since usually I cannot find many digital books that I like at the library.  So I downloaded it for my 21 days and for the last 21 days I have read that book like it was on fire!  Normally, while I am doing classes it takes me a good month or two to read a book, but not this time!

The book tells the story of a Chinese man, living in China, who was persecuted for his faith.  While the story is fiction, it is very hard not to read this book without feeling convicted in one way or another.  Here are chinese people thursty for the word of God, and unable to own a bible without being arrested.  These people will sit by candle light copying by hand the bible, in order to pass it along to other believers.  At one point a scene from the book reminded me of a scene in the book Radical by David Platt.  They were having an under-ground siminary.  They sat for hours reading the word of God.  they didn't have air conditioning, they didn't have running water, hardly enough food for everyone.  Some of the people walked for 7 days to get there to study God's word.  In David Plat's book Radical  I remember him asking the simple question, "is God enough?"

Is God enough for me?  Do I need fancy chairs, emotional services, programs, fancy clothes, and high heels just to go to church and worship God?  Personally, I would prefer not!  For me it's the music that always moves me.  I love having great worship before great preaching. I love the emotional over whelming feeling that God is moving in a service.  But...when that doesn't happen...is God and his word still enough for me?

Would I walk 7 hours just to sit on a hard floor, knee to knee with strangers, by candle light and listen to someone read me the bible line by line  (not just from 10-12) for 24 hours!  Could I live a life like this and still walk around with a smile on my face because I KNOW that THIS is not my home?

Is God Enough?  Do I have to have a church to make me feel the presence of God?  Do I have to have a bigger home, is that really that important (no) to have more space when these people are living joyfully in ONE ROOM houses!

My answer...YES!  God is enough for me! I do not need anything fancy in order to be happy.  God has blessed me with many things and for that I am grateful!

In the story Li Quan, ends up getting arrested and beaten in jail.  He prays and asks God to give him a ministry in the jail.  He ends up cleaning all the human waste off  the floors in the jail cells.  As he does this he tells the other prisoners about Yesu (Jesus).  He recites to them scripture from memory word for word.  One by one prisoners and even some of the guards came to Christ.

This story really touched my heart.  It was really eye opening to see that people in other countries are being tortured for the sake of Christ, and here in america we are more worried about sitting in the same seat on a Sunday morning than getting out of our seats and telling people about Christ!  I'll be the first one to say that over the years, since I have been a stay at home mom I have lost some of my boldness to share Christ like I used to.  So my prayer is that God will continue to equip me to share his word, and that he will start little by little putting people in my path that need to hear about Christ.

When is the last time you told someone about Christ?

I highly recommend that you read this book....Actually do not go get it at the library...I recommend that you BUY the book.  WHY?  All proceeds from that book go to help get the word of God, and bibles to China.  So If God hasn't put someone in your path to share with in a while, buy the book and send a bible to china!


Favorite Quotes from the Book:

"Remember the most common cause of stumbling is the fear of man.  It is God we must fear, not men.  You  must learn to stand boldly for your Lord, regardless of what men may think of you."

"Never forget Yesu (Jesus) is King, Never forget your home is in another world.  Never forget your father will be waiting to see you again"

"most trouble comes not from atheists who say there is no God, but from those who adopt strange ideas because of no training in shengjing (bible)"

"Wife and husband must be more than lovers.  Must be comrades, soldiers fighting side by side for same great cause.  Ming's mother say, "Wife and husband should not only lie down face-to-face, but stand up shoulder to shoulder."  They must face together the worst Mogui (satan) can do to them.  And when they draw strength of Yesu (Jesus), he bind them together"

"Even a bad father can leave an inheritance.  Only a good father can leave a heritage."

"A path is made by people walking on the ground.  My father walked the path before me and his father before him and his before him.  I pray my son will walk it after me.  So I ask my old roommate a question- what path are you walking for your children to follow?"

"Some money is counterfeit.  Does that mean that you no longer believe in money?

"Martyrs are not only those who die, but all who suffer for the Name."

"Real Gold fears no fire"

"To me, America is strange.  Each person acts as if his life begins and ends with himself"

"The enemy seeks to accuse us that we are not what we are.  But just as surely, he seeks to assure us we are what we are not."

"Believers comfort each other in their suffering by the truth that there is a God.  Communists comfort each other in their prosperity by the myth that there is no God.  So atheism is the real wishful thinking"

"Because every man trusts someone.  If he does not trust Yesu (Jesus), he trusts other men or he trusts himself ."

"we are accountable to Him, He is not accountable to us."

"I refuse to believe in a God who sends men to hell."  "And do you think your refusal to believe will convince God to change his nature?"

"if you are looking for a religion centered around yourself, Ben, I must agree that Christianity is a poor choice"

~Randy Alcorn  "Safely Home"

Meningitis, Rabies, Strep....lessons from God...

My last post was only 13 days ago and so much has gone on since then, it feels like it's been over a month at least!  So last I wrote Pumpkin wasn't feeling well, she had gotten bitten by our hamster and then the hamster died and she came down with a fever, vomiting and sore neck.  After trying to make her comfortable all night long, she was still screaming in pain from her neck and stomach.  I waited till 8am and called our pediatrician to get an appointment.  The earliest they could get her in was 11am, but she was laying on the floor and had endured pain all night long I didn't think I could make her wait any longer.  So I put her in the car and took her to Patient First.

When the doctor came in she asked me what was going on.  I told her she had gotten bit by the hamster on Thursday, the hamster was dead Friday morning, and Pumpkin came down with a fever friday night.  She was vomiting, had a high fever, pain in her neck, and stomach pain.  The doctor asked what the hamster died from, I told her the pet store told us "wet tail."  So she said she would go research it and get back to me.  She was gone about five minutes when she came back and told me that she thought Pumpkin may have gotten meningitis from the hamster.  She did not examine her at all, did not look in her throat, did not look in her ears, did not feel her neck nothing!  She then gave me a note and sent us to the ER.

Once at the ER, the first thing they did was ask her to touch her chin to her knee, which she did, and they said she wouldn't be able to do that if she had meningitis so that was ruled out.  So then they said their main concern is that she could have rabies!!  WHAT!!  Pumpkin had tons of scratches from the kitten on the tops of her hands, and they started questioning me about the kitten.  They wanted to know if it had it's shots yet.  I told them we actually had an appointment this morning but we ended up there instead.  So they started saying that we need to give her shots for rabies.  They said that if she was exposed to it, they can only treat it within the first 10 days and after that there is nothing they can do for her.  So I started panicking a bit.  But as I stood there and prayed asking God what to do, it dawned on me that I too had cat scratches on my arm and I wasn't sick!  If we did the rabies shots for Pumpkin it would be like 15 days of shots!  So I told them I was pretty sure it wasn't rabies because I would be sick too!

They ended up calling the health department because they said they have to report animal bites.  They said that they were going to come and get the cat and keep him for a while to make sure he didn't have rabies.  I asked why they reported the cat because it wasn't a cat bite it was a hamster bite.  They said the health department wasn't worried about the hamster, just the cat scratches.  FINALLY they stopped worrying about the animals and actually examined Pumpkin.  They felt her neck which had lumps all around it and she had puss on her tonsils.  She ended up testing negative for strep, but they said it was strep because of the symptoms.

I was pretty angry that they had me in fear all day long that my child was dying from meningitis and rabies, when if they had checked her in the first place they would have found out that she was just sick with a virus.

By the time I got home the health department had been here, they dug up the hamster and took it for testing. They said they weren't worried about the cat at all!  When I got inside the house I gave Sweet-pea a hug to discover she had a fever!  And later that night I ended up at Kid med with her and Goobies.

As usual they all passed it around and were sick for about a week or two.  They had ear infections and were all on antibiotics.  I asked the doctor when I was there, if this could be happening so much this year because maybe I'm not cleaning something good enough?  He said they are all inner ear infections and cannot be caused from any type of germ, it if from their ear tubes not developing correctly yet.

So, last week was my last week of summer classes.  I really enjoyed my bible and evangelism class.  I learned two important things in those classes that have already really helped me quite a bit.  #1: being humble is always viewing everyone else as better than you.  #2 trusting the Holy Spirit to work, will usually result in better results than if we do it ourselves.

I think having a large family has really made me insecure.  I always feel the entire world is always waiting to pounce on me.  We've had so many rude comments about the size of our family, and feel like people are just waiting to prove that I'm a bad mother for some reason.  I feel even more pressure to make sure they are clean, well dressed, well educated, and well loved because I feel like people think that large families like ours  neglect their children.  I have problems with thinking that people are always trying to think they are better than me, or that they think they are more spiritual than me.  Not that I think I am more spiritual or better than them, but it makes me feel like I have to strive to be even better, if that makes since.  So, if I can just think that everyone IS better than me, then it makes things so much easier, and takes so much more pressure off!

Also this week I've learned a great lesson on giving my problems over to God and trusting him to take care of things.  Nathan and I have been looking for a new house.  We are planning to rent our our house and buy a new one. We were not sure we would be able to qualify for a loan to do this but after applying and giving it over to God, we DID!!  We found a house that would be perfect for us, but then the house would not qualify for the type of loan we have to get for our situation.  So we are still looking.  Also last week was the last week of my summer classes.  I worked day and night, and into the mornings trying to finish up 3 weeks in 3 classes.  My professors had extended the courses till Sunday but I still finished on Friday!  Saturday I saw that my Evangelism professor gave me a ZERO for my discussion board because she said she could not accept late discussion board work.  I was so shocked seeing as how she told me that she removed the due dates for all my assignments and just keep her informed on my progress.  When I messaged her about it she said that she would give me a 70 for the misunderstanding but that's all.  She ended up forwarding the issue to her supervisor to make a decision.  I prayed and gave it to God!  Sunday She messaged me back and told me that since my final grade will be an "A" anyways her supervisor wasnt too concerned about it.  I was so relieved!  I too told her then I wasn't worried about it as long as I get an "A".  So...I have finished two semesters so far with a 4.0 GPA!

Monday was the first day of my fall classes.  This time I'm taking American History and another Math class.  Things are going well for us right now and look to be on the upswing.  We are very excited about the next few weeks!  Pumpkin & Little Bear started Upword cheerleading monday.  They LOVE IT!  I can't get Pumpkin to take off her uniform!  Nathan's parents are moving their Jewelry store into a new location downtown in the James Center on the 1st of September!  We are very excited about that!  And we are going on Saturday to look for some more houses.  We are praying that the right house will come along.  We are in desperate need of more space!!  We have a 1,000 square foot house for the seven of us right now and really need something bigger!  We are also getting things cleaned up and organized and ready to start homeschooling this fall, in about two more weeks!  We are so ready to get back on a good schedule!!

Update...

I have been itching to get on here and update the last few weeks, but I have been so bogged down with catching up on my school work that everything has been neglected!  It amazes me how just ONE week of being sick and missing college classes can turn into a HUGE problem!  Here I am one week away from the end of the 8 weeks and I have three more weeks to catch up on before next friday!  I gotta say that I used to be so critical of people who were going to college.  I watched a lot of my friends who were married with a couple kids, push themselves so hard to get such great grades that they neglected their families, and ended up in divorce.  I remember swearing that would never be me...yet...here I am using every waking minute and even the nights to catch up on my work.  On a normal week, I could do house work, homeschooling and all the normal every day things and then start school around 7pm and finish around 12am, and it never interfered with anything.  But I get sick ONE week and I'm killing myself in order to get caught up!  I kept telling Nathan that it was so important to me to get A's.  For one thing we are paying for this and I'm not about to put my family in debt for no reason!  And secondly, my grades in high school stunk!!  I recently found an old report card and showed it to Nathan, he was completely shocked at the F's and D's I had on there!  I don't know what it was about high school, I think back then I just didn't have the motivation to make something out of myself like I do now.

So here I am 5am, and yes I'm still awake.  Tonight I am on night duty with Pumpkin, we've had an eventful couple of days.  So...a few weeks ago we decided to take in a kitten who was abandoned in a parking lot.  Our friends who found the kitten said they thought he was about 4-5 weeks old.  He was really little!  So the Friday before we got him I took Pumpkin to the pet store to get some supplies and we stopped to look at the hamsters.  I just couldn't walk away they were so pitiful!  So we got one and named it Penny.  Well Penny only lasted about 7 days.  We woke up this morning and found that she passed away and was laying in the corner of her cage.  We took her back to the pet store and they said she had a bacteria infection called wet tale.  The night before this happened Pumpkin had just finished eating her dinner and stuck her finger in Penny's cage.  Penny bit her finger so hard (smelling the food) that she started bleeding!   We put alcohol on it and wrapped it up and then today it looks like it has already almost healed up.  

All day today Pumpkin has been telling me she has a headache in the back of her head.  I gave her some Ibuprofen this afternoon and then she didn't complain anymore the rest of the day.  At bedtime she still seemed fine.  Then around 1am she got up crying that her head was hurting!  Her neck and the back of her head was really hurting.  I went to rub the back of her head and she was burning up!  She had a fever of 101.4.  I immediately gave her some elderberry (a new remedy that I have discovered recently that helps boost their immune system) and liquids.  After a few hours of crying that her belly and head hurt, she finally vomited.  She has been miserable since.  Nathan and I prayed over her and he went to bed and I am up monitoring meds, temps, and vomit!  I can't say I'm a little worried that she may have gotten something from the hamster bite, so I'm hoping she will be better when she wakes up but we are going to be making a doctor appointment first thing in the morning.  

So other than that life has been super busy as always.  Nathan and I have been looking at houses again.  We are not in a hurry but we would LOVE to rent out our house and buy a bigger house so we can fit better.  We have our eye on a house right now, we went and looked at it last weekend, we decided that we didnt' feel peaceful about it...then we couldn't stop talking about it.  When I looked it up a week later the price had dropped!!  So I called my realtor and we are going to look at it again on Saturday!  I feel like it has potential, I love the outside of it but I still feel like we will grow out of it fast.  I also am a little weary of the location, it's further out and not sure it's a great area!  So just pray that we make the right decision.

Well I must sign off Pumpkin is up again and her fever had gone up.  Poor baby is so miserable.  As always pray for us!  We can use it the next week or so!!!