Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Assaulted in my driveway.....

So today was suppose to be a great day!  Nathan had physical therapy this morning and then I got the kids ready, and piled them all into the car once he got home.  We went to vote, then headed to the Pediatricians office for a well baby check up for Goobies and Pumpkin.  After their check up we drove the girls over to their swimming lessons and then headed home.  Grandma was coming over to watch the kids tonight so that Nathan & I could go out on a date to celebrate out 7 year anniversary.  (I was beyond excited!)  We had planned to go to the Cinnebistro at Stony Point; the place you can watch a movie while you eat dinner!  I've heard amazing things about it so wanted to try out something new.  Anyways, so we pull in the drive way and his mom had gotten here before us.  She was sitting on the steps and looked a little weary.  When I got out of the car she asks us if we know the guy that is over next door to us?  I told her we didn't have a guy next door but that he was a friend of the lady who lives there, but we've never met him or talked to him.  She says that while she was waiting on us to get home she heard him outside saying, "His mom needs to kick his A** and make him get to work!"  Then she heard him say, "I don't care if they hear me over there or not!"  She said that she stood up and said, "excuse me, but are you talking about my son?" The man told her YES!  He told her that sometimes he sees him walking with a cane, and then other times he isn't, and then he is in the backyard playing with the kids!  She told him that Nathan has a back condition and the guy just went off on her!

As I'm listening to her tell me this I watch his truck drive past our house and into the drive way next to us.  I'm standing on the drivers side of the car but still needed to get the baby out of the other side and was just in shock and furious at the same time that this happened!  I walked around the car and he was looking out his window the entire time glaring at me, so I glared back at him.  I got the baby out turned back around and he was still glaring at me!  The kids were on the porch and the more I kept playing what he said over and over in my mind and thinking "how dare he say that about us and he has no idea what we've been through!"  I couldn't hold it!  I looked back and he was still looking at me so I said, "Do you have a problem with my family?"  And he blew!  He again started saying horrible things, cursing in front of my kids, talking about how he pays for us to live because Nathan probably is paid by the government and one day he has a cane the next day he doesn't etc..  Then he started cursing at me and Nathan stepped down off the porch and said, "DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO MY WIFE LIKE THAT, HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?"  (the lady next door shook her head yes)  He then kept going on and on about how he pays for our government assistance at which I replied, "we don't get paid a cent from the government!"  And he just kept going...so ...I told Nathan...Just call the cops!  So he did.  Our neighbor felt we made a big deal by doing this but to me this was not a huge deal because he was assaulting my family, myself and cursing in front of my children!!

When the cops got here they said we should come down to the station and file charges and get a warrant for his arrest.  I told them I'd just like to have them talk to him and make him leave us alone because I don't want to have anyone arrested and have to go through all that but I just don't want him cursing in front of my family!  So they went over and talked to him.

This put a little kink in our anniversary plans. We ended up not going tonight.  I was so taken back by how evil people can be.  I've never experienced things like what we've been experiencing this year and I'm really just taken back by how selfish people are in this world!  I keep trying to figure out how someone who has never met us, never talked to us can spend their tuesday evening sitting on the porch talking about us badly!  This man did not even care to know the truth of what is going on in our lives, what is wrong with Nathan's back, or what we've been through; he just wanted to group us into a group of other people who cheat the system and don't really have disabilities or maybe just take his own problems out on us.  The fact is, Nathan is not drawing any form of disability.  Could he?  YES!  But he doesn't want too!  Does he walk with a cane?  SOMETIMES, because after a long day of work, or when walking around shopping it hurts his back and the cane helps to take some of the pressure off.  Does he play with his children in the backyard?  YES, my husband is a great man who pushes through his own pain and stands for 30 minutes in the yard (sometimes longer) pushing our children on a swing or throwing a ball to them, or watering the garden!  This man has no idea how hurtful it is to me to watch a grown man (nathan) squirm all night long flinching in pain, tossing and turning, too tired to wake up because he never sleeps well, but in so much pain he can't lay still.  Does Nathan go to work? YES, but occasionally he has not been able to because of his pain, or because he had a period of time where he was getting his pain management under control so he could be at work.  DOES AMERICA PAY OUR FAMILY TO LIVE?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!!   He should be ashamed of himself for assuming such things about people without asking.

I realize this man was probably going through some troubles of his own and needed someone to take it out on, so I hope that the fact that he ruined our anniversary tonight was enough to make him feel better.  As for us, well, I'm still in shock that people I don't even know are making such horrible assumptions about my family, I'm happy I was brave enough to question him because I will not tolerate people saying horrible things like that to or about my family!  I'm not angry at him (now), but I do feel upset that my kids had to hear such things being said about their father and mother.  I'm sad that just because my husband has a condition that MOST people do not understand the severity of they are quick to judgement.  But I'm praying this happened for a reason.  I believe that God never wastes our pain and whatever reason he had for us to stay home tonight, feel threatened and hurt by this man I'm sure was worth the sacrifice of our date.  I just pray that there can be peace and restoration between us and our neighbor after this incident.  Maybe I shouldn't have called the cops, but at that time I was shaking, crying and didn't know how else to get him to stop.  Maybe I shouldn't have said anything to him, but that is my family!  I don't know I keep going over and over it in my head trying to figure out why this happened and I have no good answers.

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