Missing puppy....

This little guy has stolen our hearts!!  We are so thankful to have him as a member of our large and growing family!  So thankful in fact, that today while he was napping and having dreams of frolicking through our huge back yard chasing after Sammy, we were all crying at the thought of losing him!

YES, we thought he was MISSING!!  We could not believe after all we went through the last several months, the death of our bunnies, our cat running away, and then not being able to find a dog to adopt- that our brand new puppy that we've only had for 5 whole days disappeared out of our back yard that was fenced in with a huge privacy fence!!!  One minute he was running around chasing after the kids, the next minute he was GONE!!  We searched all the crevices outside, along the fence, along the house, under the house!  We drove around the neighborhood looking for him, asking everyone we saw if they saw him, and even our neighbors were looking around for him!!  We searched through every single room in our house, the playroom, living room, under couches, inside of cabinets and closets, under beds, in baskets, under clothes behind the washer and dryer.....NO PUPPY!!!

For an hour in a half we yelled for him, tore our house apart, drove the neighborhood, and searched and re-searched the back yard and we came up with no puppy!!  Nathan went out one last time to search the neighborhood and the girls and I got on our knees together and asked God to protect the puppy and help us to find him!  I posted on fb for immediate prayer.

I got a call from Nathan saying, "he is nowhere, start making flyers and post on craigslist!"  I replied, "how in the world did this happen, there is just no way he could have gotten out of that fence, this is just so embarrassing that we can't keep up with our animals!"   Feeling completely hopeless I pulled out my computer and messaged a friend who assured me that he would be back, and began posting an ad in the Lost/Found of craigslist.  I got the first line typed and heard Nathan knocking on the front door so I put down my laptop and went to walk to the door and THERE HE WAS!!!  Running in circles, wagging his tale in the middle of the living room floor!!  That little stinker was asleep somewhere in the house!!!  WHAT A RELIEF!!!

I think we are done with animals for a LONG time after this!!  lol  I just am not sure why in the world we have these issues with them but our hearts just can't take it anymore!!  I told Nathan today, "I sure do wish that I could still not be an animal person so that this stuff didn't bother me so much!"  Funny how seeing how much our children love something can soften our own hearts for the same things!  So thankful for answers to prayer!!    

Jesus makes it all better.....

Horrible weeks like last week are so worth the tears, effort, time, and hard work that is done every day to keep our household going.  This past week I began feeling like I was a "house fairy" who does laundry, dishes, gives the children baths, makes dinner, gives out snacks, nurses the baby, does the bills, keeps a budget, plans out the garden, takes online courses, and is never seen at all.  I think most stay-at-home moms can identify with this at least ONCE in their stay-at-home careers.  Now I do have to say my children always tell me thank you, they ALWAYS complement me on my food I prepare, and make sure to hug me and tell me they love me at least once a day.  My husband walks in and tells me the house looks great, thanks for folding the clothes, you worked really hard today and thanks me for all that I do- NORMALLY.  But last week it seemed like everyone was so caught up in their own lives they forgot that they normally do this.

It was a terribly hard week with discipline!  We had children with bad attitudes, and lazy children who didn't want to do school or chores, and on top of my daily normal things I have to do I had to stop an deal with these things first because making sure our children understand that when mom and dad say to do something you do not disrespect them, or making sure that our children understand that they have chores because we are all a family and we help each other, and making sure our children understand that God says it is right to honor your mother and father and they need to do this because GOD said not just because WE said, is all more important than anything else I have to do that day!  However, it is the MOST exhausting thing I do ALL WEEK LONG!!  I hate being the nagging mother who has to constantly stand behind her children and make them do what they are supposed to do!  This is not in my personality to do this, nor is it in my will to do this, I have to practically FORCE myself to do this because not only do I loath this- I find it unbelievably stressful!!  I want to throw myself on the floor right next to them some days and kick my feet and yell at them "why do I always have to make you do these things!!!"  I want to be the one crying about how unfair it is and that it is SUCH HARD WORK!!!!  I don't think I ever understood when my parents used to say to me when I got punished, "it hurts me more than it does you" until I had my own children!!

Back on Valentines day we watched our beloved cat Elliott run out the front door when we opened it and we haven't seen him since.  It was a hard day for Pumpkin as she is the biggest animal lover I have ever known!!  When Elliott was a kitten she would hold him on his back and tickle his belly and he would playfully swat at her hands and ended up scratching up her hands REALLY bad!!  One day she got a fever and ended up in the hospital because they thought she had rabies from the kitten (he was too young to get a rabies shot yet).  Then after further investigation they decided they thought she had "cat scratch fever" from all the scratch marks.  They scared the living daylights out of me and wanted to treat her for rabies but because I had scratches on myself and I was fine,  I knew it had to be some silly virus...which after trying to treat her for 15 days for rabies and I refused they finally tested her for step and it was POSITIVE- HELLO!!!  After that we decided it was in our best interest to get the cat declawed on his front paws.  It was over $400.00!!

Now that it has been almost two months since Elliott has left and we have not been able to find him, we decided it was time to start looking for a new dog.  Pumpkin was having trouble getting over it, she blamed herself because she said she was mad at him that morning and maybe if she had just kept him in her room that wouldn't have happened.  We went through daily crying spells of how much she missed him and how maybe he didn't remember her anymore and didn't love her anymore.  We assured her he loves her so much and probably found a girlfriend, we had her write a letter to him and we spent many days talking about him.  Not only was she upset but it started affecting her attitude.  She became mean to her siblings and irritated at us, she didn't want to do anything besides watch tv.  After two months of this I realized something needs to change. 

A few days ago, she again had a tough morning.  She again had a crying spell about how much she missed Elliott with Nathan.  I called her to my room that afternoon and sat on the bed with her.  We began to talk about Elliott and her feelings about what was going on.  In that one moment I realized that all that hard work I've done disciplining our children, showing them God's way for their lives, taking time out of the day to work on their character and attitudes and hearts- was more than worth every minute I felt I wasted in the last week!  I sat and watched my 8 year old daughter pour her heart out and cry her eyes out about how she "JUST wants to be with Jesus because life is painful and hard and Jesus makes it better!"  I have never in all my life imagined that her sensitive heart at the young age of 8 years old could understand a concept that I myself did not fully understand until I was 29 years old!  When I was her age I remember praying and begging God to NOT come back yet and let me graduate, get married, have children, watch them get married..." Lord let me experience life" I would pray.  And here I am years later watching my 8 year old express that she JUST WANTS JESUS TO COME BACK so she can be with him!!  I often find myself asking "Lord why have you chosen ME to have all these children, it is SO hard!"  But all the tough times are so worth hearing my daughters love for the Lord expressed so greatly at such a young age!

Nathan and I talked after that and felt like we had to get a new animal asap after that conversation with her.  Her heart was broken-and because of that our hearts were too- and we felt that it was important that she be restored.  We told her we would go looking for a new dog this time instead of a cat because we didn't want to #1 pay another 400.00 to get it declawed and #2 run the risk of losing it again.  So after prayer and discussion we went and got our new puppy Koby.

On the way home that day Pumpkin was in the back of the van and I did not see her stop smiling at ALL.  A song came on the radio (christian station) and she says, "mom, can you turn up this song?"  i turned it up and looked in my mirror at the sweetest sight of my 8 year old with her eyes closed, hugging her new puppy, and praising her Savior!"  She recognized that God had blessed her with another animal to love in her time of loss and grieving.  He had restored her heart and she knew that the first thing that she should do is PRAISE THE LORD for all that he has done for her!  What a great ending to a horrible week!

In the midst of last week I didn't know how I was ever going to make it to the end of the week!  I questioned everything about my parenting and told God I wasn't getting anywhere with these kids it was JUST TOO HARD!!  It is not easy to guide soon to be 7 children down a narrow path that I have to stay on right behind them!!!  But then he showed me just a small glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel!  Stuff like that is what carries me through into the next week, into the next 10 loads of laundry, into the next temper tantrum, and sleepless nights.  I am so grateful for my hard life because without hard work we will see no results in the end!  Thank you Lord for helping us to overcome the hard things in life and giving us Jesus to make it all better!!      

NO DATING!!

Most parents biggest fear for their children is that they will make the same mistakes that you did!  I know that is one of mine!!  That is why our children will not be allowed to date!

I know this is a foreign subject to a lot of people, and most won't agree with me and others will think I'm crazy for this, (so did I when I first heard about it); however, it makes so much sense to me now!

I spent my teen years and half of my 20's, trying to figure out WHO I WAS!!  I had no idea who I was, what I was worth, or where I was going in life.  My main focus was finding someone who loved me and being a wife.  That was the only thing I knew I wanted in life because that meant I was going to be loved forever.  I always either had a boyfriend through school, or was chasing after someone to be my boyfriend.  I spent hours crying over feeling unwanted by boys who didn't like me, being broken up with, or just daydreaming what it would be like to hold someone's hand or be kissed.  I remember laying in my room watching "Saved by the Bell" and having day dreams of what it would be like to have a boyfriend like that!  I spent way too much time wishing for things that didn't matter!  I had no concept of being equally-yoked with someone; I didn't grow up in Church and the whole "only date someone who is also a Christian" idea was a good one to me, but I didn't get why till later.   Because of this problem I had, I was not a good student, and I found my self-worth in what others thought of me.  This left me to be a very unhappy and emotional teenager and young adult.  If someone didn't like me back, there must have been something wrong with me!

I never thought about how this affected my life until I saw an episode on "The Duggars" that talked about courting and why they court and they don't date.  Every single reasoning made so much sense to me!!  It took me so long to figure out that my self-worth was not in what people though of me, but it was in what CHRIST thought of me!  It wasn't until I was 23 years old that I finally started to see who I was and what my life was really about!  I wasted at least 19 years of my life (my earliest memory of a boyfriend was 4) worrying about what I meant to other people, and mourning over why people didn't like me!  Those are precious years that I will never get back, that meant NOTHING, yet changed my life forever!

My children will not have boyfriends.  After careful thought I've realized that they are pointless in life!  I've been very careful that they do not watch television shows with kissing (unless married), or with teenagers in it who are dating or who "likes" each other.  Actually they are not allowed to watch any of the teen disney kid shows at all- most of them I've found the kids to be very disrespectful and we don't need that in our house.  We've chosen to limit this as well because I don't want my kids #1 aspiring to be like someone else and #2 having daydreams about what it would be like to kiss a boy.  Part of homeschooling allows our children to establish their own identities and figure out who they are apart from other children or comparing themselves to others.  Limiting their TV will also aid in this as well as not giving them a false hope for what real love is.

Dating as a teenager will only bring them heartbreak and allow them to establish a pattern of divorce (IMO).  Dating someone is really a simulation of being married in a milder form.  You are attracted to each other, you show affection- sometimes too much, you fight, you get tired of each other and then you break up.  All that energy and all your secrets you shared together are wasted!  You move on and get another boyfriend or girlfriend....and really what is the point.  What good does it do?  Gives you experience?  With what, walking away from things without fixing them?  Knowing how to be broken in life?  Knowing how to hold grudges of bitterness and resentment towards someone?  When I think of Ex-boyfriends that is what I remember, why we broke up and what they did to me to hurt me.  Those experiences could have been wiped from my life and it would have made things much easier for me.  My biggest problem was I did not want to wait for God to bring me the one he had for me, I wanted to find him myself and all it did was cause me heartache.  Once I finally let go of that area of my life and let God work, he brought me the most amazing man!  I could have never dreamed someone like him would love me!

 There are women and men in their 30's and 40's who are realizing that they never found who they were as a person because they were always wrapped up in their boyfriends or husbands and now that they are married they are divorcing so that they can experience the world!  That is a very sad reason!

Not having boyfriends will allow my children to focus on who they are in Christ.  Get to know Christ more intimately, be stronger women who will not need to have a man to feel like they can survive or are worth something (I'm not a feminist but it's good for them to be self-sufficient, you never know what may happen in life).  If my children become married and have found their self-worth in their husbands instead of Christ, it can be detrimental to their marriage.  Feeling like someone has to love you a certain way in order for you to feel good about yourself is not a realistic relationship.  This only puts pressure on their husbands to be something that they were not designed to be.  We are all human and we are incapable of loving like Christ.  Only God knows the type of love we need and Only God is able to provide that.

I don't believe I've ever talked to my family about the fact that our kids will not be dating, there have been times when they've asked them (which is normal) "do you have a boyfriend?" or "is he your boyfriend?" and they are like "no he is my friend."  They have no concept of what a boyfriend is right now at their young age and that is something that I am SO grateful for!!  They are able to be young and be children without having to worry about if they are good enough for other people!  What a wonderful gift to have in life.  I am so thankful my children are learning at a young age how to find their self-worth in Christ.  

When the time comes for us to address the whole dating issue, they will be told about how dating affected my own life.  Already we pray together that God is preparing their husbands for them and teaching them how to be Godly men.  When the right one comes along we will know it and they will be allowed to court them, but dating will not be an option for us.

What is love?

I saw this photo posted on facebook a few weeks ago and It was disturbing enough to me that I saved it for this blog post.  See, 11 years ago, I knew all about wanting to be loved like a country song.  When I was a teen I dreamed about it in my room, I danced to it in my car, and I walked down the aisle to it in what turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life when I was 19!  I embraced, loved and dreamed about every aspect of it from, "strawberry wine",  "Cowboy take me away", "She thinks my tractors sexy", to "unanswered prayers", "Breathe", and "man I feel like a woman!!"  You see no matter what the song was about, weather it was a happy story, or a sad one- it was still mesmerizing and took me to a place that didn't matter the outcome because I was in a story about love!!  I saw love through country song glasses, where it didn't matter if he cheated because at least I would have a heart wrenching song I could sing afterwards!  But when it happened in reality I didn't feel like singing much!  My view of love was tainted by fairy tales and songs.  I thought that my life fit into one of these songs and as long as it did- Good or bad- I would be happy.  I was wrong!  Looking to love songs or fantasy to fulfill my self-worth left me empty and alone.

Here is another example.  See, God IS LOVE!  I thank God that these people aren't Him nor do they apparently know the real heart of God because God's word says, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, " Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails..." 

I can't sit here and say that the homosexual lifestyle is okay because I don't believe that it is, however it does not mean that Christians can't show the love of God.  God loves homosexuals, they are his children they are made in his image just like we all are.  Just because we do not agree with their lifestyle does not mean that God hates them or that he does not see their tears!  His heart breaks for them and their pain just like it does for any of us!  These people see others through "legalistic, cultic, and selfish glasses."  They treat others harshly not just if they don't believe the same way but if they don't go to the same church!  

Jesus was Love, but Jesus was also JUST.  While he showed his love to ALL people he still was offensive when he would call people out on their sins.  But I have to say not once did I see where Jesus stood on street corners jumping up and down like an idiot with signs that say "I hate fags" or "I hate your tears!"  When he met the woman at the well who had, "many" husbands, he did not tell her how disgusted he was with her but he treated her as any other person, spoke to her lovingly but also let her know that what she was doing was wrong and she needed to make it right!  There are ways to love people and show them the Love of Christ while letting them know they are not abiding by the Word of God, without dishonoring, delighting in evil, or abusing that power.  This does not show the Love of God and only pushes others further from the truth!

When I was younger, the image of a church like the one above gave me warm fuzzy feelings of hope and love.  Just the thought of going to a church with other Christians (even when I wasn't a Christian at the time) made me excited and happy!  We have come a long way with church buildings over the years!  Back in the New Testament the church did not meet in church buildings but in homes, now we have church buildings that are amazingly beautiful!  Buildings that you would be afraid to sit down on the seats because you don't want to wrinkle the fabric!!  Not only has the buildings changed but the love inside has as well!  People have forgotten what God's word says about Love and it seems they need to be refreshed!!

I was reminded this week of an old song I heard several years ago asking the question, "If Jesus came to your church, would you let him in?"  I can't for the life of me remember the name of the song but it went on to explain that Jesus would have filthy dirty feet, would they let him walk on the carpet?  He would be smelly and dirty, he would not look like everyone else nor would he have his best Sunday suit on- so would they ask him to leave??

This week I was horrified when I was told a story of something that happened in a previous church our family had been part of.  A friend of our family- whom we will call Angel- is on dialysis and also has other medical problems she was dealing with.  Angel was in a wheel chair and had finally decided to visit a church and accepted Jesus as her Savior.  This particular church airs it's Sunday services on TV.  One Sunday morning she decided to head down to the alter in her wheel chair to pray-  she was stopped halfway down the isle by a pastor and was told they did not want to see wheel chairs on tv, she needed to walk down to the isle or go back to her seat!  Angel then proceeded to tell the story of the Sunday that she got kicked out of the church!  She was sitting in the front row on another Sunday morning and began to feel nauseous because of her medical condition.  She tried to leave but didn't make it out and vomited on the floor.  She was told not to come back to church because people do not want to see her vomit on camera!!  She was told she can watch the services from home!!

I've never been so outraged to hear a dying woman tell such stories!!  This woman has since decided to go off her dialysis and stop fighting!  Maybe if God's people would have shown her that God had a plan for her life still- even in the midst of her sickness- Maybe if God's people would have looked beyond the carpet, and cameras, and into the actual hearts of the people- she would have had a church family that loved and supported her and she wouldn't have felt the need to stop her treatments!!  

LOVE is not a Country Song, Love is not picketing funerals of homosexuals or soldiers, LOVE is not having a beautiful church building, money, or a television show.  LOVE IS BEING SELFLESS!!!  LOVE IS THINKING OF OTHERS BEFORE YOURSELF!!  LOVE IS MAKING OTHERS HAPPY WHEN YOU ARENT!!  LOVE IS PUTTING OTHERS NEEDS BEFORE YOUR OWN!!!

No wonder people don't understand the whole "love the sinner, hate the sin" concept!  No wonder people would rather die a slow painful death with no hope than to come to a church and receive Christ as their SAVIOR!!  No wonder marriages are falling apart all over the place because we are looking to songs and fairy tales to fulfill us instead of Christs Love!!

Our concept of what love really is is so distorted!  If anyone understands what REAL love is it should be Christians!!  We have experienced an everlasting, undeserving, selfless kind of love that most people do not know exists and instead of making sure people see that in us- we are worried about the carpet!!  

People have to learn to find their self worth in the Love of Christ and who He says we are instead of what other people say or think of us.  People will always disappoint us (especially Christians)- no one is perfect.  The only person who will not disappoint us is Jesus Christ Himself!  Jesus' love was perfect, He selflessly took our payment for our sins, even though he knew we would still sin, and gave his life for ours!  That is the true meaning of Love.    

VICTORY!!!!

Well, I accomplished something this week I never thought I would do!  I finished my Intro to Christian Counseling class- during my first trimester- WITH an A!  VICTORY!!!!  I did not think that class, nor my first trimester would ever end, let alone I get an A!  I get really paranoid about not making an A in my courses because our family does not have the extra money to throw around for my education and If we are going to go into debt, and If I am going to take time away from spending with my family, then I better have A work!!

I'm FINALLY out of my first trimester!  According to my calculations I'm 14 weeks, and will be 15 weeks on Thursday this week; however, according the ultrasound I am 13 weeks.  Yesterday was the first day I felt a little bit of energy this week and was able to get outside and start tilling up our new garden location in the new back yard!  Today I paid for every second of that digging!  I was up half the night with nerve pain in my arms and this morning I was so sore I couldn't move!  BUT I felt great!  I'm so not a winter person and my husband and I both feel awful all winter long so being out in the sun yesterday was like I was coming out of hibernation!!

My favorite thing about waking up in the morning is when my littles come in an wake me up!  No matter how grouchy and tired I am, how can you not get up when those tiny cold hands hug your neck and say, "mommy wakie, wakie!!"  This morning I said, "go tell daddy I need coffee!"  She disappeared and a few minutes later she is next to me saying, "mommy I made you coffee and it tastes YUMMY!"  lol  she had taken the rest of Nathan's coffee that he made for himself and drank a fourth of it up the steps!  But no amount of coffee will get that girl down cause she is now fast asleep on the couch!!

So I have a whole week this week to rest, clean up, and get ready for my Philosophy class to start on Monday.  This will be my last one till next year, after baby #7 gets here!  Today will be our day of rest, not much will get done except cuddles, and resting and then we are off tomorrow to finish up another garden spot outside, and catching up on laundry and chores the rest of the week!  We also went back on our "Trim Healthy Mama" diet today after being off of it since I was 9 weeks.  Looking forward to feeling great!  Happy Monday!!

 

Impatiently waiting for spring......

Things around here has been super busy the last month or so.  I had enrolled in two classes this semester before we found out I was expecting and so far it has been SUPER challenging to keep up with things!  I'm starting to come out of my first trimester but still have ZERO energy, and feel terrible most every day!

We are in pure survival mode right now!  We've reverted from eating healthy to eating whatever is easy, frozen pizza, hotdogs, cereal, sandwiches, as long as I don't have to stand up and cook it we will eat it right now.  I attempted to make some taco's last night and upon putting the meat in the pan I almost lost my cookies all over the stove!  I had to have Nathan finish up dinner!  I just couldn't take the smell!  It is not uncommon right now to order pizza 3x a week!  I feel terribly guilty because we ALL need to be eating healthier especially Nathan and I but I just can't swing it right now!  Hopefully we can start detoxing from all this junk within the next week!!  I am looking forward to nice homemade meals again!
I've signed the girls up again for online school, Time4learning.com.  We did this last year for part of the year while I was in my first trimester and had to go back to doing it again this year because I am just so tired!  Even Hobble-bobble gets to do school now online.  She is LOVING school!  She has been begging me all year long to do school, but I've put it off because it will be easier for me to start her when she is 5 next year, but she is thriving at it!!  She will sit and do school all day if I let her-- which I normally don't mind!

I've been impatiently waiting for the spring weather to hit!  We had a nice warm week last week, the girls played outside every day and now it is cold again.  I will be SO happy to have sunshine and work outside in our new garden this spring!!  I want warm weather so badly I can taste it!!

We also lost our beloved cat this month.  Elliott went out the door on Valentines day and hasn't returned.  In the past I've not been much of an animal person so 5 years ago it wouldn't have hit me very hard, however; Pumpkin loves her animals and watching her heart break over this has really killed me!  I've been posting photos everywhere of him, but we've not found him!  We are still hoping he will come back though!  I stopped by Petsmart the other day, and they had some cats for adoption!  I had picked one out and got to the cash register but when I called Pumpkin to see what she thought, she said she would rather wait and see if Elliott comes back.

We also lost our two bunnies last month so we went ahead and got two new baby bunnies.  They are adorable!!  SO tiny!  We are keeping them inside right now until we repair our bunny cage outside but I can't hardly get the kids to leave them alone!

I'm looking forward to getting my energy back SOON!  I have so much on my list to get done, painting the inside of the house, new shutters on the outside, taxes, appointments to make, garden to plan and I can't wait to get started!!    

It's my 7th baby- Get over it already.....

I had thought that since we had a scare with this baby that people would be a little more sensitive with their comments and "concerns" of our family size but boy was I wrong!  This is my seventh child and there has NEVER been a pregnancy out of all seven that people where genuinely happy for us.  YES even the first baby was made out to be a scandal even though it really wasn't!!  For years my feelings got hurt and I was so offended at people's words and accusations; for the first three months of each of my pregnancies I would be in mourning over the thoughtless, heartless comments people would make!  But not anymore...it is my 7th baby-GET OVER IT ALREADY!

I've heard every question, every comment,every "concern" and "wise-crack" known to man about large families and to be honest it is just annoying!  Nothing anyone can say, or nothing anyone worries about "for me," whether it be my finances or my health, will change the fact that I have another child ALREADY growing inside me!  It will also not change the fact that my husband and I BOTH believe that God is not finished giving us children!  When it is time for us to "be done" we will both know it and it will be a decision that we will make together- we are not planning to ask anyone else their opinion on how many children we should have so please don't give it!

You are welcome to you opinions about us, and our family, how we choose to homeschool or how we choose to have many children, or why you THINK we have many children, or that we are Christians-you are also welcome to keep them to yourself because we are not interested in them, nor are we interested in hearing about them through other people.  The fact is- whether we have a lot of children, or ONE child there are advantages and disadvantages to both lifestyles!

I personally grew up with three older sisters.  I lived with two of them for the first 10 years of my life and then I was an only child for the next 9 years that I lived at home.  It wasn't till recently I actually had a real relationship with any of them!  I consider my first few years as part of a family of five the happiest of my childhood!  I have good memories of hugs, tickles, Singing Christmas Carols, playing barbies, having someone fix my hair, walk me to the bus stop...there was someone there with me at all times and someone I knew loved me at every corner!  I was never alone!  My memories for the second half of my life are not quite the same, I remember being desperate for friends, boyfriends, my dad traveling a lot, sitting in my room alone wishing I had more friends, crying a lot, being lonely, and struggling with every relationship I had in my life.  While yes maybe my parents could afford to give me great clothes, great toys, electronics- but none of those things could ever replace the happiness I had when I had my sisters around.  Even though I was an only child for those several years I still had to buy my own car, pay rent once I graduated, and pay for my own cellphone and insurance if I wanted it.  Things were not always handed to me I was taught to work for them!

My children will never know what loneliness is!  They will never know what it is like to have everything yet feel you have nothing!  They will always appreciate things because they will have to work for them, they will not have handouts but they will have a chance at a great life because we will teach them how to accomplish that!  They are smart, well behaved, and all of them have a unbelievable faith and love for Jesus Christ!  I personally as their mother couldn't ask for more!  I also know that when I am dead and gone, my children will not be lonely and will not mourn alone.  They will have many best friends in each other and will be able to look back on our life and see the many things that Christ has done for us because we were faithful to listen to his voice!!

If our family has learned anything this year it is that "God is in Control" and that "God will supply all of our needs."  God's control is not limited to just daily things in our life but he has control of every area of our lives- down to creating a child in the womb.  Our needs that he will supply does not stop at just getting to the gas station before we run out of gas, but every piece of bread, clothing, or dollar that comes into our home is there because HE gave it to us!  I do not believe that God will give us another child without giving us the financial means to supply our needs!

With this said, I'm expecting not to post this ever again because like I said- we are on baby 7...get over it already!  So in a few years if I end up posting that we are expecting unexpected blessing #10, just know that, that announcement isn't to get your approval but just to let you know why I'm gaining weight again! :)

Children are a blessing from God, we will be finished having children when we feel that God has put it on our hearts to not have anymore children.  Until then I hope most of you can sit back and enjoy watching what God is doing in our lives!