Supernatural Swagger Wagon XXL.....

After baby #6 got here in September, we began having to take two cars everywhere we went!  We could no longer fit our entire family in our 7 passenger van.  Because of this and the cost of gas, for the last 8 months we have just been sticking close to home most of the time, unless Grandma was able to come over so me and daddy could have date night at the grocery store!

We realized this past week that we were going to have to rent a van soon for a trip we had planned.  That rental for a large van was going to cost us $900.00 for the week!!  We've been very budget minded the last year, and have our hearts set on working towards living debt free!  I'm sure it will take us a while to get there but we are making strides in that direction.  We decided that in order to be a good steward of God's money he has given us- it was a waste to pay $900.00 to use a van for a week when we needed one to keep!  So we went on the hunt for a 12 or 15 passenger van that would fit our family.  Every few hours of each day you could find me searching Craigslist for a van up to 200 miles away from us!  After a few weeks of nothing, I realized I needed prayer!!

I posted to my Christian brothers and sisters on facebook, asking if they would pray that God would provide us with a van that was in our price range.  Most everything we were finding was 6k more than we wanted to pay for it!  Many friends let us know they would start praying that we would be able to find a van within our price range- and one in particular that stuck out to me said that they were praying that "God would supernaturally provide" us with a van!  And that is exactly what he did!!

Saturday evening we saw a post on Craigslist.  It was a 15 passenger, 215k miles, and was missing the back seat.  It was also 500.00 less than I wanted to pay for a van!  I told Nathan "this has to be the right one cause we've been praying!!"  He called the guy who agreed to meet with us on monday!  Sunday evening when we texted asking for the vin number he told us he went ahead and sold it!!!  I was so devastated!  I just couldn't understand why that happened when I knew that people had been praying for us to get a good van at a good price!!  BUT- I prayed again- asked for more prayer and thought to myself, "my God will supply all my needs."

Yesterday we exhausted all options with finding a van.  We wanted to pay cash for it so we didn't have a payment but had to stay withing our budget but there just was NOTHING!!  We looked at auctions, craigslist, and called car lots!  We even thought that maybe we would just have to finance a little more so we could get a van!  Well I'm glad we stuck with our instincts that "God would supply our needs" because that very night after asking for more prayer, I received an email from a friend.  It told me she got emails from a ministry here in town and just tonight they sent out an email that they were wanting to sell a 2002 15 passenger van, 147k miles, 1k less than our budget price, in EXCELLENT shape besides a few cosmetic issues!!  We called immediately!!!  We drove out this morning and then this afternoon we brought home our Supernatural, God given- 15 passenger van that we can ALL fit in plus more!!  The girls call it, "our bus!"

We are beyond excited that God has been using our lives to show his miracles!  I am thrilled that at the young age my children at at that they have already witnessed the hand of God moving in our lives and answering so many of our prayers at such an early age!  I pray that The Lord will allow them to always look back on what he has done for us, and supplied for us and never have any doubts about who holds their future in their hands!

Huge thank you to all who prayed for us!! Prayer makes a huge difference!!  Thank you!!

My Real-Life Love Story....

In the last several years, I've taken a love to reading.  I was never a huge reader in the past and always thought, "what's the point when I can watch the movie," however, I started reading one day and haven't stopped since!  I am a very picky reader and read mostly read Christian-fiction.  Recently, I've tried a few books outside of my normal genre and they were pretty good but one category that I have never been able to really enjoy- is Romance.  I have many friends and family who really enjoy reading Romance Novels and there is no judgement here from me on their decision- however, for me- just not my cup of tea!  I had someone recommend a book to me not long ago that was a romance and I decided I would be open-minded and give it a whirl but I found it cheesy, boring and very unrealistic.

  Why you ask, do I not enjoy a good romance novel?  Because I have experienced, first hand, the most romantic, selfless love story anyone has ever read in my own personal life.  Compared to my love story- any non-fiction Romance is down right cheesy!  Some of you may know most of my story but for those of you who do not....I hope you enjoy.

Thirteen years ago, I was a Senior in high school.  I was a Christian who was still leaning the ropes of what Christ expected of me, I was also actively looking for that love that lasted forever!  See I knew the love of Christ but I had never really experienced the love of Christ- ( you will understand what I mean by that later on).  At Graduation I was dating my high school sweetheart whom I also thought loved the Lord like I did!  I went on to marry him at the young age of 19.  Three months before I married him- he threw me through a wall- yet I still married him!  Love is so blind when it is infatuation!  For two years, I hid the fact that I was being abused, mentally, and physically.  Then one day I was dragged down the hallway and thrown from my apartment barefooted.  I went to his family for support but was told if I wanted they would put me on a plane back to my parents- so I kept quiet-and we went through counseling.  Just when I thought things were beginning to look up, and we were talking about having children- I caught him with another woman.  He sold his truck and took all that money he got from it down to an attorney and filed divorce papers.  I thought my life was over!

I spent that Thanksgiving and the whole month of November- on the floor in my kitchen, praying that God would put my life back together.  I was 10 hours away from any of my family, my closest friend was in Colorado, and I was completely alone!  In December I packed up my Jeep and drove 10 long hours back to my parents house praying and asking God the entire way, "Lord- I don't think that I can get through this alone, not knowing that one day I will have a family, not knowing that one day I will have a husband who loves me!"  I begged God  "PLEASE LORD send me a man who loves you more than me, and me more than anything else!"

It was the first time in my life I felt like I had absolutely no control over anything!  One night when I got back I was at a small group meeting and our small group leader decided to do a foot washing.  For those of you who don't understand that- back in biblical days washing someone's feet was a way that they showed hospitality and respect. It's something that isn't done much now days and can be a bit humbling when it is done to you!  That night I remember like yesterday because it changed my life! As our leader walked from person to person washing their feet, I began to get very uncomfortable!  At first I began getting angry because I didn't want him to do that to me!!  I was not above him, I was a dirty, worthless person that no one wanted! I didn't want him to do that, I didn't deserve for him to do that!!  But it didn't matter what I wanted because he was going to do it anyways!!   For the first time I realized the price that Jesus paid for my Sins!   Here I was feeling dirty, unclean, unwanted, thrown away, and no good for anyone else- and Jesus didn't care one minute about that, he saw me as someone who was beautiful and worth dying for.  That night as my feet were washed by one of my most respected friends, I imagined myself arguing with Jesus, pleading with him to not get on that cross- DO NOT DYE FOR ME!!  Do not throw away your perfect, sinless, guilt-free life for someone who is dirty, used, sinful and broken!!  Please Lord I'm not going to change, I'm always going to be a sinner!!  I'm always going to do the wrong thing, and disappoint you!! I always disappoint everyone!  Then I heard the Lord whisper to my spirit, "I have already died for you, I chose to die for you because you are worth it!"

That was the first time I realized exactly how much Christ loved me!  He knew that I would sin again- he knew that there would be sins in my life that I struggled with EVERY DAY for the REST of my LIFE-- yet--he still died for me.

A month after I moved back home to my parents, I met Nathan.  I knew the minute he walked into our small group that night that he was everything I had ever wanted in a husband.  I thought that there was no way he would ever be interested in someone like me, especially since I had been married before!  We became friends and quickly grew close.  After a few months we were inseparable!  He was my best-friend!  I was too scared to have a real relationship outside of that friendship with him- although after 2 weeks he was begging me to run away and get married- I didn't want to make a mistake again!  What if I messed up again!!  What if he wasn't who he said he was?  So- we went on dates- which normally consisted of us singing praise and worship in my room together, or going to church.  I pushed him away, treated him terribly because I thought if I could get him to leave me, then I could avoid hurt later.  But he stuck around.  Finally I begin taking a class on inner-healing.  Through that class the Lord healed my broken heart and at the end of that class he spoke to me and said, "Toneka, you asked me for a man like Nathan and I've given him to you, now you can either accept him, or I will take him away from you!"  That day was the first day I told him I loved him!  We were engaged a month later and married 6 months later.

The bible says in John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends."  John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him, shall not parish but have ever lasting life."

It is 13 years later and I can tell you that I have two amazing men in my life who love me so much they would be willing to lay down their lives for me.  Jesus Christ, and my sweet Godly husband.  No Romance novel could ever compare to my love story, and no love could ever compare to the love I have found in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and in my sweet God given husband!

Since tomorrow is Resurrection Sunday, this past week our family sat together and watched "Jesus of Nazareth."  When it was time for Jesus to be put on the cross my sweet Little-Bear cried her heart out and kept asking, "why won't he save himself mommy?!"  and I would answer her, "because honey he didn't want you to have to go through that, he did it for you, he loves you so much that he died for you!!"

Needless to say we do not do the Easter Bunny at our house.  The kids get a treat from us but Easter isn't about a bunny bringing treats for us, it is about the fact that a stranger gave his life for our own, it's our day to celebrate the greatest love story ever!!

What large families face....

Signed onto my blog today and was going to do an update of our last few weeks.  I saw there was a new comment so I went to read it and here is what it said:

"speaking of getting over it... why don't YOU get over yourself. what makes you think that anyone is even interested in the fat that you're pregnant. AGAIN. its old news by now. not to mention how sickening it is that you DON'T support them on your own and you rely on taxpayers and IMO it boarders downright recklessness. the rest of us are already over it. the only people left to comment are the ones who are just learning about you. and for the rest of us, it is kind of shocking and abnormal.~ Quiver of One~"

I was going to just delete it and let it go because obviously this person does not even know our family, or maybe they do and they are just hateful and didn't have the courage to let us know who they were, but I wanted others who don't understand why I get so defensive of large families to see the ignorance of some people!  Automatically this person thinks that we do not support our children ourselves, automatically this person thinks we are being reckless and abnormal.  What they think does not, nor would it ever, change my mind about how many beautiful children we have or will have. The only thing I would like to clear up is that we pay for every one of our children on our own and do not get government assistance, nor would we want it- we would not want the government in our lives more than they have to be.  Just because someone has a large family doesn't mean that they can't afford them.  So in response to your nasty comment Quiver of One: If you do not like reading about "shocking and abnormal" families, then move on and find another blog to read.  Your negativity is not needed here!  I'm very sorry that you are probably struggling with issues in your own life that causes you to try and bring others down, your comment does not affect how we feel about our family and what God has chosen to bless us with.  Praying that God will open your eyes and heart to see what a blessing Children are whether there are 10 of them or just one!  

Missing puppy....

This little guy has stolen our hearts!!  We are so thankful to have him as a member of our large and growing family!  So thankful in fact, that today while he was napping and having dreams of frolicking through our huge back yard chasing after Sammy, we were all crying at the thought of losing him!

YES, we thought he was MISSING!!  We could not believe after all we went through the last several months, the death of our bunnies, our cat running away, and then not being able to find a dog to adopt- that our brand new puppy that we've only had for 5 whole days disappeared out of our back yard that was fenced in with a huge privacy fence!!!  One minute he was running around chasing after the kids, the next minute he was GONE!!  We searched all the crevices outside, along the fence, along the house, under the house!  We drove around the neighborhood looking for him, asking everyone we saw if they saw him, and even our neighbors were looking around for him!!  We searched through every single room in our house, the playroom, living room, under couches, inside of cabinets and closets, under beds, in baskets, under clothes behind the washer and dryer.....NO PUPPY!!!

For an hour in a half we yelled for him, tore our house apart, drove the neighborhood, and searched and re-searched the back yard and we came up with no puppy!!  Nathan went out one last time to search the neighborhood and the girls and I got on our knees together and asked God to protect the puppy and help us to find him!  I posted on fb for immediate prayer.

I got a call from Nathan saying, "he is nowhere, start making flyers and post on craigslist!"  I replied, "how in the world did this happen, there is just no way he could have gotten out of that fence, this is just so embarrassing that we can't keep up with our animals!"   Feeling completely hopeless I pulled out my computer and messaged a friend who assured me that he would be back, and began posting an ad in the Lost/Found of craigslist.  I got the first line typed and heard Nathan knocking on the front door so I put down my laptop and went to walk to the door and THERE HE WAS!!!  Running in circles, wagging his tale in the middle of the living room floor!!  That little stinker was asleep somewhere in the house!!!  WHAT A RELIEF!!!

I think we are done with animals for a LONG time after this!!  lol  I just am not sure why in the world we have these issues with them but our hearts just can't take it anymore!!  I told Nathan today, "I sure do wish that I could still not be an animal person so that this stuff didn't bother me so much!"  Funny how seeing how much our children love something can soften our own hearts for the same things!  So thankful for answers to prayer!!    

Jesus makes it all better.....

Horrible weeks like last week are so worth the tears, effort, time, and hard work that is done every day to keep our household going.  This past week I began feeling like I was a "house fairy" who does laundry, dishes, gives the children baths, makes dinner, gives out snacks, nurses the baby, does the bills, keeps a budget, plans out the garden, takes online courses, and is never seen at all.  I think most stay-at-home moms can identify with this at least ONCE in their stay-at-home careers.  Now I do have to say my children always tell me thank you, they ALWAYS complement me on my food I prepare, and make sure to hug me and tell me they love me at least once a day.  My husband walks in and tells me the house looks great, thanks for folding the clothes, you worked really hard today and thanks me for all that I do- NORMALLY.  But last week it seemed like everyone was so caught up in their own lives they forgot that they normally do this.

It was a terribly hard week with discipline!  We had children with bad attitudes, and lazy children who didn't want to do school or chores, and on top of my daily normal things I have to do I had to stop an deal with these things first because making sure our children understand that when mom and dad say to do something you do not disrespect them, or making sure that our children understand that they have chores because we are all a family and we help each other, and making sure our children understand that God says it is right to honor your mother and father and they need to do this because GOD said not just because WE said, is all more important than anything else I have to do that day!  However, it is the MOST exhausting thing I do ALL WEEK LONG!!  I hate being the nagging mother who has to constantly stand behind her children and make them do what they are supposed to do!  This is not in my personality to do this, nor is it in my will to do this, I have to practically FORCE myself to do this because not only do I loath this- I find it unbelievably stressful!!  I want to throw myself on the floor right next to them some days and kick my feet and yell at them "why do I always have to make you do these things!!!"  I want to be the one crying about how unfair it is and that it is SUCH HARD WORK!!!!  I don't think I ever understood when my parents used to say to me when I got punished, "it hurts me more than it does you" until I had my own children!!

Back on Valentines day we watched our beloved cat Elliott run out the front door when we opened it and we haven't seen him since.  It was a hard day for Pumpkin as she is the biggest animal lover I have ever known!!  When Elliott was a kitten she would hold him on his back and tickle his belly and he would playfully swat at her hands and ended up scratching up her hands REALLY bad!!  One day she got a fever and ended up in the hospital because they thought she had rabies from the kitten (he was too young to get a rabies shot yet).  Then after further investigation they decided they thought she had "cat scratch fever" from all the scratch marks.  They scared the living daylights out of me and wanted to treat her for rabies but because I had scratches on myself and I was fine,  I knew it had to be some silly virus...which after trying to treat her for 15 days for rabies and I refused they finally tested her for step and it was POSITIVE- HELLO!!!  After that we decided it was in our best interest to get the cat declawed on his front paws.  It was over $400.00!!

Now that it has been almost two months since Elliott has left and we have not been able to find him, we decided it was time to start looking for a new dog.  Pumpkin was having trouble getting over it, she blamed herself because she said she was mad at him that morning and maybe if she had just kept him in her room that wouldn't have happened.  We went through daily crying spells of how much she missed him and how maybe he didn't remember her anymore and didn't love her anymore.  We assured her he loves her so much and probably found a girlfriend, we had her write a letter to him and we spent many days talking about him.  Not only was she upset but it started affecting her attitude.  She became mean to her siblings and irritated at us, she didn't want to do anything besides watch tv.  After two months of this I realized something needs to change. 

A few days ago, she again had a tough morning.  She again had a crying spell about how much she missed Elliott with Nathan.  I called her to my room that afternoon and sat on the bed with her.  We began to talk about Elliott and her feelings about what was going on.  In that one moment I realized that all that hard work I've done disciplining our children, showing them God's way for their lives, taking time out of the day to work on their character and attitudes and hearts- was more than worth every minute I felt I wasted in the last week!  I sat and watched my 8 year old daughter pour her heart out and cry her eyes out about how she "JUST wants to be with Jesus because life is painful and hard and Jesus makes it better!"  I have never in all my life imagined that her sensitive heart at the young age of 8 years old could understand a concept that I myself did not fully understand until I was 29 years old!  When I was her age I remember praying and begging God to NOT come back yet and let me graduate, get married, have children, watch them get married..." Lord let me experience life" I would pray.  And here I am years later watching my 8 year old express that she JUST WANTS JESUS TO COME BACK so she can be with him!!  I often find myself asking "Lord why have you chosen ME to have all these children, it is SO hard!"  But all the tough times are so worth hearing my daughters love for the Lord expressed so greatly at such a young age!

Nathan and I talked after that and felt like we had to get a new animal asap after that conversation with her.  Her heart was broken-and because of that our hearts were too- and we felt that it was important that she be restored.  We told her we would go looking for a new dog this time instead of a cat because we didn't want to #1 pay another 400.00 to get it declawed and #2 run the risk of losing it again.  So after prayer and discussion we went and got our new puppy Koby.

On the way home that day Pumpkin was in the back of the van and I did not see her stop smiling at ALL.  A song came on the radio (christian station) and she says, "mom, can you turn up this song?"  i turned it up and looked in my mirror at the sweetest sight of my 8 year old with her eyes closed, hugging her new puppy, and praising her Savior!"  She recognized that God had blessed her with another animal to love in her time of loss and grieving.  He had restored her heart and she knew that the first thing that she should do is PRAISE THE LORD for all that he has done for her!  What a great ending to a horrible week!

In the midst of last week I didn't know how I was ever going to make it to the end of the week!  I questioned everything about my parenting and told God I wasn't getting anywhere with these kids it was JUST TOO HARD!!  It is not easy to guide soon to be 7 children down a narrow path that I have to stay on right behind them!!!  But then he showed me just a small glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel!  Stuff like that is what carries me through into the next week, into the next 10 loads of laundry, into the next temper tantrum, and sleepless nights.  I am so grateful for my hard life because without hard work we will see no results in the end!  Thank you Lord for helping us to overcome the hard things in life and giving us Jesus to make it all better!!      

NO DATING!!

Most parents biggest fear for their children is that they will make the same mistakes that you did!  I know that is one of mine!!  That is why our children will not be allowed to date!

I know this is a foreign subject to a lot of people, and most won't agree with me and others will think I'm crazy for this, (so did I when I first heard about it); however, it makes so much sense to me now!

I spent my teen years and half of my 20's, trying to figure out WHO I WAS!!  I had no idea who I was, what I was worth, or where I was going in life.  My main focus was finding someone who loved me and being a wife.  That was the only thing I knew I wanted in life because that meant I was going to be loved forever.  I always either had a boyfriend through school, or was chasing after someone to be my boyfriend.  I spent hours crying over feeling unwanted by boys who didn't like me, being broken up with, or just daydreaming what it would be like to hold someone's hand or be kissed.  I remember laying in my room watching "Saved by the Bell" and having day dreams of what it would be like to have a boyfriend like that!  I spent way too much time wishing for things that didn't matter!  I had no concept of being equally-yoked with someone; I didn't grow up in Church and the whole "only date someone who is also a Christian" idea was a good one to me, but I didn't get why till later.   Because of this problem I had, I was not a good student, and I found my self-worth in what others thought of me.  This left me to be a very unhappy and emotional teenager and young adult.  If someone didn't like me back, there must have been something wrong with me!

I never thought about how this affected my life until I saw an episode on "The Duggars" that talked about courting and why they court and they don't date.  Every single reasoning made so much sense to me!!  It took me so long to figure out that my self-worth was not in what people though of me, but it was in what CHRIST thought of me!  It wasn't until I was 23 years old that I finally started to see who I was and what my life was really about!  I wasted at least 19 years of my life (my earliest memory of a boyfriend was 4) worrying about what I meant to other people, and mourning over why people didn't like me!  Those are precious years that I will never get back, that meant NOTHING, yet changed my life forever!

My children will not have boyfriends.  After careful thought I've realized that they are pointless in life!  I've been very careful that they do not watch television shows with kissing (unless married), or with teenagers in it who are dating or who "likes" each other.  Actually they are not allowed to watch any of the teen disney kid shows at all- most of them I've found the kids to be very disrespectful and we don't need that in our house.  We've chosen to limit this as well because I don't want my kids #1 aspiring to be like someone else and #2 having daydreams about what it would be like to kiss a boy.  Part of homeschooling allows our children to establish their own identities and figure out who they are apart from other children or comparing themselves to others.  Limiting their TV will also aid in this as well as not giving them a false hope for what real love is.

Dating as a teenager will only bring them heartbreak and allow them to establish a pattern of divorce (IMO).  Dating someone is really a simulation of being married in a milder form.  You are attracted to each other, you show affection- sometimes too much, you fight, you get tired of each other and then you break up.  All that energy and all your secrets you shared together are wasted!  You move on and get another boyfriend or girlfriend....and really what is the point.  What good does it do?  Gives you experience?  With what, walking away from things without fixing them?  Knowing how to be broken in life?  Knowing how to hold grudges of bitterness and resentment towards someone?  When I think of Ex-boyfriends that is what I remember, why we broke up and what they did to me to hurt me.  Those experiences could have been wiped from my life and it would have made things much easier for me.  My biggest problem was I did not want to wait for God to bring me the one he had for me, I wanted to find him myself and all it did was cause me heartache.  Once I finally let go of that area of my life and let God work, he brought me the most amazing man!  I could have never dreamed someone like him would love me!

 There are women and men in their 30's and 40's who are realizing that they never found who they were as a person because they were always wrapped up in their boyfriends or husbands and now that they are married they are divorcing so that they can experience the world!  That is a very sad reason!

Not having boyfriends will allow my children to focus on who they are in Christ.  Get to know Christ more intimately, be stronger women who will not need to have a man to feel like they can survive or are worth something (I'm not a feminist but it's good for them to be self-sufficient, you never know what may happen in life).  If my children become married and have found their self-worth in their husbands instead of Christ, it can be detrimental to their marriage.  Feeling like someone has to love you a certain way in order for you to feel good about yourself is not a realistic relationship.  This only puts pressure on their husbands to be something that they were not designed to be.  We are all human and we are incapable of loving like Christ.  Only God knows the type of love we need and Only God is able to provide that.

I don't believe I've ever talked to my family about the fact that our kids will not be dating, there have been times when they've asked them (which is normal) "do you have a boyfriend?" or "is he your boyfriend?" and they are like "no he is my friend."  They have no concept of what a boyfriend is right now at their young age and that is something that I am SO grateful for!!  They are able to be young and be children without having to worry about if they are good enough for other people!  What a wonderful gift to have in life.  I am so thankful my children are learning at a young age how to find their self-worth in Christ.  

When the time comes for us to address the whole dating issue, they will be told about how dating affected my own life.  Already we pray together that God is preparing their husbands for them and teaching them how to be Godly men.  When the right one comes along we will know it and they will be allowed to court them, but dating will not be an option for us.

What is love?

I saw this photo posted on facebook a few weeks ago and It was disturbing enough to me that I saved it for this blog post.  See, 11 years ago, I knew all about wanting to be loved like a country song.  When I was a teen I dreamed about it in my room, I danced to it in my car, and I walked down the aisle to it in what turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life when I was 19!  I embraced, loved and dreamed about every aspect of it from, "strawberry wine",  "Cowboy take me away", "She thinks my tractors sexy", to "unanswered prayers", "Breathe", and "man I feel like a woman!!"  You see no matter what the song was about, weather it was a happy story, or a sad one- it was still mesmerizing and took me to a place that didn't matter the outcome because I was in a story about love!!  I saw love through country song glasses, where it didn't matter if he cheated because at least I would have a heart wrenching song I could sing afterwards!  But when it happened in reality I didn't feel like singing much!  My view of love was tainted by fairy tales and songs.  I thought that my life fit into one of these songs and as long as it did- Good or bad- I would be happy.  I was wrong!  Looking to love songs or fantasy to fulfill my self-worth left me empty and alone.

Here is another example.  See, God IS LOVE!  I thank God that these people aren't Him nor do they apparently know the real heart of God because God's word says, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, " Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails..." 

I can't sit here and say that the homosexual lifestyle is okay because I don't believe that it is, however it does not mean that Christians can't show the love of God.  God loves homosexuals, they are his children they are made in his image just like we all are.  Just because we do not agree with their lifestyle does not mean that God hates them or that he does not see their tears!  His heart breaks for them and their pain just like it does for any of us!  These people see others through "legalistic, cultic, and selfish glasses."  They treat others harshly not just if they don't believe the same way but if they don't go to the same church!  

Jesus was Love, but Jesus was also JUST.  While he showed his love to ALL people he still was offensive when he would call people out on their sins.  But I have to say not once did I see where Jesus stood on street corners jumping up and down like an idiot with signs that say "I hate fags" or "I hate your tears!"  When he met the woman at the well who had, "many" husbands, he did not tell her how disgusted he was with her but he treated her as any other person, spoke to her lovingly but also let her know that what she was doing was wrong and she needed to make it right!  There are ways to love people and show them the Love of Christ while letting them know they are not abiding by the Word of God, without dishonoring, delighting in evil, or abusing that power.  This does not show the Love of God and only pushes others further from the truth!

When I was younger, the image of a church like the one above gave me warm fuzzy feelings of hope and love.  Just the thought of going to a church with other Christians (even when I wasn't a Christian at the time) made me excited and happy!  We have come a long way with church buildings over the years!  Back in the New Testament the church did not meet in church buildings but in homes, now we have church buildings that are amazingly beautiful!  Buildings that you would be afraid to sit down on the seats because you don't want to wrinkle the fabric!!  Not only has the buildings changed but the love inside has as well!  People have forgotten what God's word says about Love and it seems they need to be refreshed!!

I was reminded this week of an old song I heard several years ago asking the question, "If Jesus came to your church, would you let him in?"  I can't for the life of me remember the name of the song but it went on to explain that Jesus would have filthy dirty feet, would they let him walk on the carpet?  He would be smelly and dirty, he would not look like everyone else nor would he have his best Sunday suit on- so would they ask him to leave??

This week I was horrified when I was told a story of something that happened in a previous church our family had been part of.  A friend of our family- whom we will call Angel- is on dialysis and also has other medical problems she was dealing with.  Angel was in a wheel chair and had finally decided to visit a church and accepted Jesus as her Savior.  This particular church airs it's Sunday services on TV.  One Sunday morning she decided to head down to the alter in her wheel chair to pray-  she was stopped halfway down the isle by a pastor and was told they did not want to see wheel chairs on tv, she needed to walk down to the isle or go back to her seat!  Angel then proceeded to tell the story of the Sunday that she got kicked out of the church!  She was sitting in the front row on another Sunday morning and began to feel nauseous because of her medical condition.  She tried to leave but didn't make it out and vomited on the floor.  She was told not to come back to church because people do not want to see her vomit on camera!!  She was told she can watch the services from home!!

I've never been so outraged to hear a dying woman tell such stories!!  This woman has since decided to go off her dialysis and stop fighting!  Maybe if God's people would have shown her that God had a plan for her life still- even in the midst of her sickness- Maybe if God's people would have looked beyond the carpet, and cameras, and into the actual hearts of the people- she would have had a church family that loved and supported her and she wouldn't have felt the need to stop her treatments!!  

LOVE is not a Country Song, Love is not picketing funerals of homosexuals or soldiers, LOVE is not having a beautiful church building, money, or a television show.  LOVE IS BEING SELFLESS!!!  LOVE IS THINKING OF OTHERS BEFORE YOURSELF!!  LOVE IS MAKING OTHERS HAPPY WHEN YOU ARENT!!  LOVE IS PUTTING OTHERS NEEDS BEFORE YOUR OWN!!!

No wonder people don't understand the whole "love the sinner, hate the sin" concept!  No wonder people would rather die a slow painful death with no hope than to come to a church and receive Christ as their SAVIOR!!  No wonder marriages are falling apart all over the place because we are looking to songs and fairy tales to fulfill us instead of Christs Love!!

Our concept of what love really is is so distorted!  If anyone understands what REAL love is it should be Christians!!  We have experienced an everlasting, undeserving, selfless kind of love that most people do not know exists and instead of making sure people see that in us- we are worried about the carpet!!  

People have to learn to find their self worth in the Love of Christ and who He says we are instead of what other people say or think of us.  People will always disappoint us (especially Christians)- no one is perfect.  The only person who will not disappoint us is Jesus Christ Himself!  Jesus' love was perfect, He selflessly took our payment for our sins, even though he knew we would still sin, and gave his life for ours!  That is the true meaning of Love.    

VICTORY!!!!

Well, I accomplished something this week I never thought I would do!  I finished my Intro to Christian Counseling class- during my first trimester- WITH an A!  VICTORY!!!!  I did not think that class, nor my first trimester would ever end, let alone I get an A!  I get really paranoid about not making an A in my courses because our family does not have the extra money to throw around for my education and If we are going to go into debt, and If I am going to take time away from spending with my family, then I better have A work!!

I'm FINALLY out of my first trimester!  According to my calculations I'm 14 weeks, and will be 15 weeks on Thursday this week; however, according the ultrasound I am 13 weeks.  Yesterday was the first day I felt a little bit of energy this week and was able to get outside and start tilling up our new garden location in the new back yard!  Today I paid for every second of that digging!  I was up half the night with nerve pain in my arms and this morning I was so sore I couldn't move!  BUT I felt great!  I'm so not a winter person and my husband and I both feel awful all winter long so being out in the sun yesterday was like I was coming out of hibernation!!

My favorite thing about waking up in the morning is when my littles come in an wake me up!  No matter how grouchy and tired I am, how can you not get up when those tiny cold hands hug your neck and say, "mommy wakie, wakie!!"  This morning I said, "go tell daddy I need coffee!"  She disappeared and a few minutes later she is next to me saying, "mommy I made you coffee and it tastes YUMMY!"  lol  she had taken the rest of Nathan's coffee that he made for himself and drank a fourth of it up the steps!  But no amount of coffee will get that girl down cause she is now fast asleep on the couch!!

So I have a whole week this week to rest, clean up, and get ready for my Philosophy class to start on Monday.  This will be my last one till next year, after baby #7 gets here!  Today will be our day of rest, not much will get done except cuddles, and resting and then we are off tomorrow to finish up another garden spot outside, and catching up on laundry and chores the rest of the week!  We also went back on our "Trim Healthy Mama" diet today after being off of it since I was 9 weeks.  Looking forward to feeling great!  Happy Monday!!

 

Impatiently waiting for spring......

Things around here has been super busy the last month or so.  I had enrolled in two classes this semester before we found out I was expecting and so far it has been SUPER challenging to keep up with things!  I'm starting to come out of my first trimester but still have ZERO energy, and feel terrible most every day!

We are in pure survival mode right now!  We've reverted from eating healthy to eating whatever is easy, frozen pizza, hotdogs, cereal, sandwiches, as long as I don't have to stand up and cook it we will eat it right now.  I attempted to make some taco's last night and upon putting the meat in the pan I almost lost my cookies all over the stove!  I had to have Nathan finish up dinner!  I just couldn't take the smell!  It is not uncommon right now to order pizza 3x a week!  I feel terribly guilty because we ALL need to be eating healthier especially Nathan and I but I just can't swing it right now!  Hopefully we can start detoxing from all this junk within the next week!!  I am looking forward to nice homemade meals again!
I've signed the girls up again for online school, Time4learning.com.  We did this last year for part of the year while I was in my first trimester and had to go back to doing it again this year because I am just so tired!  Even Hobble-bobble gets to do school now online.  She is LOVING school!  She has been begging me all year long to do school, but I've put it off because it will be easier for me to start her when she is 5 next year, but she is thriving at it!!  She will sit and do school all day if I let her-- which I normally don't mind!

I've been impatiently waiting for the spring weather to hit!  We had a nice warm week last week, the girls played outside every day and now it is cold again.  I will be SO happy to have sunshine and work outside in our new garden this spring!!  I want warm weather so badly I can taste it!!

We also lost our beloved cat this month.  Elliott went out the door on Valentines day and hasn't returned.  In the past I've not been much of an animal person so 5 years ago it wouldn't have hit me very hard, however; Pumpkin loves her animals and watching her heart break over this has really killed me!  I've been posting photos everywhere of him, but we've not found him!  We are still hoping he will come back though!  I stopped by Petsmart the other day, and they had some cats for adoption!  I had picked one out and got to the cash register but when I called Pumpkin to see what she thought, she said she would rather wait and see if Elliott comes back.

We also lost our two bunnies last month so we went ahead and got two new baby bunnies.  They are adorable!!  SO tiny!  We are keeping them inside right now until we repair our bunny cage outside but I can't hardly get the kids to leave them alone!

I'm looking forward to getting my energy back SOON!  I have so much on my list to get done, painting the inside of the house, new shutters on the outside, taxes, appointments to make, garden to plan and I can't wait to get started!!    

It's my 7th baby- Get over it already.....

I had thought that since we had a scare with this baby that people would be a little more sensitive with their comments and "concerns" of our family size but boy was I wrong!  This is my seventh child and there has NEVER been a pregnancy out of all seven that people where genuinely happy for us.  YES even the first baby was made out to be a scandal even though it really wasn't!!  For years my feelings got hurt and I was so offended at people's words and accusations; for the first three months of each of my pregnancies I would be in mourning over the thoughtless, heartless comments people would make!  But not anymore...it is my 7th baby-GET OVER IT ALREADY!

I've heard every question, every comment,every "concern" and "wise-crack" known to man about large families and to be honest it is just annoying!  Nothing anyone can say, or nothing anyone worries about "for me," whether it be my finances or my health, will change the fact that I have another child ALREADY growing inside me!  It will also not change the fact that my husband and I BOTH believe that God is not finished giving us children!  When it is time for us to "be done" we will both know it and it will be a decision that we will make together- we are not planning to ask anyone else their opinion on how many children we should have so please don't give it!

You are welcome to you opinions about us, and our family, how we choose to homeschool or how we choose to have many children, or why you THINK we have many children, or that we are Christians-you are also welcome to keep them to yourself because we are not interested in them, nor are we interested in hearing about them through other people.  The fact is- whether we have a lot of children, or ONE child there are advantages and disadvantages to both lifestyles!

I personally grew up with three older sisters.  I lived with two of them for the first 10 years of my life and then I was an only child for the next 9 years that I lived at home.  It wasn't till recently I actually had a real relationship with any of them!  I consider my first few years as part of a family of five the happiest of my childhood!  I have good memories of hugs, tickles, Singing Christmas Carols, playing barbies, having someone fix my hair, walk me to the bus stop...there was someone there with me at all times and someone I knew loved me at every corner!  I was never alone!  My memories for the second half of my life are not quite the same, I remember being desperate for friends, boyfriends, my dad traveling a lot, sitting in my room alone wishing I had more friends, crying a lot, being lonely, and struggling with every relationship I had in my life.  While yes maybe my parents could afford to give me great clothes, great toys, electronics- but none of those things could ever replace the happiness I had when I had my sisters around.  Even though I was an only child for those several years I still had to buy my own car, pay rent once I graduated, and pay for my own cellphone and insurance if I wanted it.  Things were not always handed to me I was taught to work for them!

My children will never know what loneliness is!  They will never know what it is like to have everything yet feel you have nothing!  They will always appreciate things because they will have to work for them, they will not have handouts but they will have a chance at a great life because we will teach them how to accomplish that!  They are smart, well behaved, and all of them have a unbelievable faith and love for Jesus Christ!  I personally as their mother couldn't ask for more!  I also know that when I am dead and gone, my children will not be lonely and will not mourn alone.  They will have many best friends in each other and will be able to look back on our life and see the many things that Christ has done for us because we were faithful to listen to his voice!!

If our family has learned anything this year it is that "God is in Control" and that "God will supply all of our needs."  God's control is not limited to just daily things in our life but he has control of every area of our lives- down to creating a child in the womb.  Our needs that he will supply does not stop at just getting to the gas station before we run out of gas, but every piece of bread, clothing, or dollar that comes into our home is there because HE gave it to us!  I do not believe that God will give us another child without giving us the financial means to supply our needs!

With this said, I'm expecting not to post this ever again because like I said- we are on baby 7...get over it already!  So in a few years if I end up posting that we are expecting unexpected blessing #10, just know that, that announcement isn't to get your approval but just to let you know why I'm gaining weight again! :)

Children are a blessing from God, we will be finished having children when we feel that God has put it on our hearts to not have anymore children.  Until then I hope most of you can sit back and enjoy watching what God is doing in our lives!          

Blessing #7.......

I had baby #6 on September 4, 2013.  It was my first natural labor and after the labor I was SET on the fact that I will not be having another child for a LONG TIME!  I was set on finishing my degree and getting our new house together before I had to go through a dreaded pregnancy again.  Well...God had other plans.

On Christmas Eve 2013, I started to have some complications that were unexpected and sent me to the Emergency Room.  I was in COMPLETE SHOCK when they let me know that I WAS in fact pregnant, and I quote, "you ARE pregnant, but JUST barely!  It can go either way at this point!"

I left the hospital and spent the rest of the evening trying to decide on a name for that baby for when I miscarried because I know my body and the only other time it acted up like that was when I lost our Baby Joy.  Before bed that night I prayed over my stomach that God would protect our child, and that he would forgive me for not wanting another precious gift!  Then I prepared myself emotionally for the worse.

At the hospital they took my HCG levels.  In order to turn a test positive they have to be a 25; mine was a 28!  I was told to call first thing Monday- go in and get another HCG test so that they can see if it doubled.  I took the test that Monday and had to wait three days for the results!!  When they came back they had almost tripled!!  I was told that is a great sign but take it easy and we will have to wait for an ultra sound in 30 more days!!  The wait was TORTURE!!!

Finally today was the day....

I went into the midwifes office and got ready for the Ultrasound.  She kept staring at the screen like something was wrong at first and my heart was pounding out of my chest!  Then she let me know that she could see the baby...but it was not a clear photo and she needed me to get dressed and move next door to the doctors office because he had a better ultrasound machine.  When we got set up in there my midwife says, "I thought I was seeing two heartbeats on the other machine but the image wasn't very good!"  The doctor looks around for what seemed like FOREVER, then says, "I'm only seeing one, unless there is one hiding somewhere."  Then they looked a little longer and it was decided they were PRETTY sure there was only one, but I'm to come back in a few weeks to have another ultrasound when the baby is a little bigger.  But the best part of all-  There was a heartbeat!!!!  My prayers were all answered in that one moment when I saw that little beat of a heart!

So we will know better on the exact due date at the next ultrasound but we know we will be expecting our sweet blessing #7 this September!!!  Thank you Lord for a healthy baby!

 

My struggle with weight loss....

For the last 8 years I have been pregnant for 238 weeks!  My battle with weight loss began during my first pregnancy.  That was the most I've gained in any of my pregnancies and I have yet to lose it all!  As my waste began to expand and my wardrobe got smaller, so did my personality.  When my husband and I first met I was a tiny little bubbly outspoken firecracker who was not afraid of anything!  I remember the first time I was alone with Nathan after knowing him for only weeks, I looked him in the eye and said something like, "you have got to get your life right, you are running from God and you better stop it!"  I don't know why in the world he thought that was so attractive but I guess my honesty was something he found he needed in his life at the time.  At that time I was a small group leader, worship leader, I had the occasional solo on a Sunday morning and I had great confidence.

As years went on, I began pulling back.  I became more and more self conscious of my weight, more shy, quieter, introverted.  Every Sunday morning I was in tears for hours trying to find something to wear so that I didn't look like an idiot sitting next to my husband (who was on staff) in the front row of the church.  I dropped out of choir (initially for other reasons but never went back), and when our church decided to go on television-I stopped going to church!  To be completely fairm that wasn't the ONLY reason I stopped going to church, but it played a good role.  Everyone around me at church had amazing outfits, and the Choir stopped wearing robes and the thought of seeing my huge self on the big screen on Sunday morning was a bit repulsive!  I began feeling so insecure that even going to stores on the arm of my handsome husband, who is frequently mistaken for Keanu Reeves, began messing with my mind.  I would watch peoples expressions and make up their dialog in my head, "WOW did you see that hot guy with that huge woman!  What a waste!!"  While I knew that I was valuable to God, and my husband loved me still,  I personally hated looking at myself in the mirror.  I learned that if I didn't look in the mirror much or take photos, then my mind automatically viewed myself as skinny, and that was the point of view that I wanted!

Problem was every time I had a window of opportunity to lose weight, I got pregnant!  Seriously, I would drop 5-10lbs and a week later- I'm pregnant!  Happened EVERY time!  So that was always my excuse, "well I'm pregnant, so I can't diet!"  They tell you it is unhealthy to diet while pregnant.  However, I just find it hard to believe it is healthy to be pregnant, overweight, and gaining weight!  But I stuck to my doctors advice and did not diet.  With each baby I added at least an extra 10lbs to my weight loss goal.

When we first got married I was not a cook.  I could make Ramon, Spaghetti, and a mean sandwich and bowl of cereal but a cook I was not.  We ate out A LOT!!  It was more convenient, tasted way better than I could make, and plus when I lived at home we NEVER got to eat out much!  As our family began to grow, I struggled to cook more.  It was more cost effective but still a very hard thing for me.  I never knew anything about nutrition, I didn't even know that it was THAT bad for you to eat out all the time.  I figured a salad now and then and we are golden!  It took me a few years but within 5 years I finally mastered the art of cooking to where my kids and husband ONLY wanted me to cook dinner and didn't even want to order out anymore!  And by then it was too late!

Nathan had high Cholesterol and was pre-diabetic and I had gestational diabetes with all my children and was overweight.  It was time to RE-LEARN how to cook again!!  I read a few books on nutrition, and heart healthy diets and I came to the conclusion that "God's way is the best way!"  While they tell you that heart healthy diets were low fat diets, there was just something in me that said NO, that is NOT natural!  So I got rid of all processed foods, boxed foods except for occasional pasta and rice, only bought frozen and fresh veggies and occasionally canned beans, but my recipes were the same thing over and over!  And my weight would start and stop and stay right where it was.  So I began to get upset and frustrated!  I wasn't seeing any visible results!  And then I came across Trim Healthy Mama!

There wasn't a lot of stuff out there that told you what the diet was about, but there was a lot of great reviews and amazing looking foods on pinterest, so I decided I needed to look into that book!  I bought the book and received it within two weeks!  I am still working my way through (as it is 600 pages long) but I'll get there slowly!  I began doing THM two weeks ago and will never look back!  So far I've lost a total of 3lbs in two weeks, bringing my total weight loss to 15lbs!  The great thing about this diet is that #1 it is safe to do while pregnant and nursing, #2 it has increased my milk supply, usually by now I'm lucky to still be nursing once a day!  #3 You still get to eat tasty foods, and Chocolate!!  This book teaches you how to pair your foods so that it keeps your blood sugars from spiking and causing weight gain!  This book is full of wonderful recipes!

I've become such a food snob in the last few months leading up to THM, and now I'm even worse!  When I lived in Ky my favorite restaurant was Steak n' Shake!  Living here there is no Steak n' Shake anywhere.....until now!  After we closed on the house Friday we went by there for a celebration dinner!  I ordered my old usual, cheese fries, frisco melt, and chili.  I was so excited to finally taste that amazing meal after 10 years!!  I started with the chili, it was good, but there was something missing...the taste was off and not how I remembered.  Then there was the fries.  You can never go wrong with their shoe string fries smothered in cheese sauce- they were gross!  Greasy and the cheese tasted like a can!  By the time I got to the burger- the one thing that tasted decent- I couldn't eat it because I was already grossed out!  I came home and had me a wasa cracker with cream cheese and sliced turkey.  I felt miserable after that meal and it was not worth it at all!  That was the first time we've eaten out in over a month!

Moving to this new house has really helped me with the process of eliminating fast food.  We have ZERO places around us that is convenient!  I cannot call Nathan and ask him to pick up something on his way home anymore because it is faster for me to just cook something!!  My point in sharing all of this is that I want to encourage other women and let them know that I know first hand how debilitating being overweight can be.  I know how challenging it can be to want something convenient and tasty and how the words "lets just grab something while we're out" were a part of my every day vocabulary!  This book was a life saver for me!  It has become a lifestyle of eating and not just a diet!  It has only been 2 weeks but Already I've noticed a huge difference just in my energy levels and confidence!  If you are looking for a diet that is going to change your life, please order your book today, and join the facebook page!!  With this diet there is no excuses during pregnancy and nursing...the weight can still healthily come off!  What an answer to prayer!        

10 Reasons I CHOOSE to Submit to My Husband...........

Submitting to my husband is a CHOICE that I've made as his wife.  It's not something that he has forced me to do, or something that he expects me to do but something that I WANT to do!  Here is why....

1.  I am a very strong willed person.  I can be very opinionated and passionate about certain subjects and because of this I'm absolutely certain I had quite my share of temper tantrums when I was a kid!  Sometimes I need someone to make me humble.  I need someone to say, "Hey, you are wrong and you need to sit there and think about what you've done!"  (not that my husband actually says this) But I need that balance in my life of someone else who shares the same passions but isn't afraid to tell me when I need to "simma' down" a bit, or even at times, get more up in arms!  

2. I respect and honor my husband.  He is a very intelligent man who has inspired me immensely to go after my dreams.  I believe in him just as he believes in me.  I have learned so much from our conversations and debates and never stop learning from him.  He has taught me so many things about the bible and even just life in general.  

3. My husband respects me.  He holds me in high regard like his very own princess.  He really listens to the things I talk to him about and he never pushes me to the side because he is too busy.  I come first in his life after the Lord and his love for me is obvious.  

4.  He is my best friend.  We shop together, laugh together, have children together, eat meals together, do laundry together, clean the house together, pray together, and worship the same God together.  

5.  It creates unity in our home.  Submitting to my husband isn't what the world thinks it is.  It's not just me sitting back and keeping quiet and letting him make all the decisions.  It is being partners, having respect for each other so much that you don't WANT to make a decision without consulting the other person.  I am not required by my husband to ask him before I make a decision, I love him and value him so much that I WANT to include him in all my decisions.  For the most part we talk about everything together and we make decisions together!  If there is ever a situation where we do not agree (which never happens) then my husband will get the final say.  I don't have to like it, but that is the way it will be.  

6.  God says!

Ephesians 5:22-24: Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

But God also says:

Ephesians 5:25; Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

YES!! My husband is commanded to have so much love for me that he would die for me just as Christ died for our sins.  

7.   Because my husband loves me this much he would NEVER be bossy, rude, conceited, or selfish with the fact that I have chosen to be a submissive wife to him, but he is thankful, gentle, thoughtful, and receptive to all my opinions, passions, and temper tantrums!! 

8.  It is healthy for us to learn how to serve others besides ourselves.  Being submissive not only  has brought us closer together as husband and wife but it has taught both of us how to think of the other before ourselves.  He is always putting my needs before his, and I him.  Sure there are times we let ourselves get a bit selfish but because we have a great relationship where we can say, " hey I think that was a little selfish" to one another...we usually get right back on track.

9.  It keeps the sparks alive.  Well, we have 6 kids...need I say more?  :)   We love each other more today than we did the day we got married.  Because I've CHOSEN to be submissive it causes my husband to value me and adore me.  When you have someone who thinks of you first in all things, it makes you want to do the same for them and that can be very attractive!

10.  We have a great marriage.  Neither of us feels insecure, nor do we ever bring up the "D" word in our arguments.  We have disagreements, and get angry at one another BUT we know that in the end we will always have someone to hug and make up with when it is all over.  

You see being submissive is a JOY!  It doesn't steal away my rights as a woman or an individual but it brings me JOY as a wife, friend, and Child of God.  Trust me it was a struggle in the beginning and even now some days it still is, but the rewards and blessings that come out of our marriage is more than worth it.  

WE ARE HOME OWNERS!!!!!

Well folks....After 486 days of waiting, fighting, and praying- WE OWN OUR HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

At 3:00pm Today, Nathan, I and the girls met up with our Realtor, and for the first time since this started over a year ago, were able to meet the other people who have helped with the fight to get us our house!!  We had an amazing Loan officer who not only did everything she could to get us a fantastic rate, but also prayed with us through the entire process, as well as an Attorney and Realtor who did the same! We had tons of family and friends praying for us as well!  God had given us an army of saints who rallied behind us in our time of need!!  There were LONG hours, and days, and tears, and prayers for our home and in the End, God came through EVERY TIME!!  The Lord put in my spirit from the first day we saw this house that it was ours, and we didn't stop fighting until it happened!  I am so thankful for these people who stood behind us during this long draining and discouraging process....but I pray that it helped to strengthen their faith and that they were able  to see the face of God working in our lives along the way!

I have never in my life experienced such miracles over and over, one after another before.  I've come to see that God has everything planned out for us and had his own agenda for when and how it is going to happen.  I went through a period of time the last few years where the whole world was a dark place and the presence of God in my life was really hard to find.  I would cry out to the Lord daily in the midst of that darkness but the light was always so hard to find.  God has used an amazing chain of events from our baby Joy that we lost, to the birth of our baby Vaerity, and now the whole house situation to teach me that I can not control my own life!  I HAVE to rely on Him and only Him for guidance, because He is the only one in this world who knows what they are doing!  God does so many things that are hard to understand in our lives, but if there were no suffering there would be no need for the Lord.  "His strength is made perfect in our weakness."

After our closing we drove to Steak n Shake for a Celebration dinner!  When we got home we had a surprise waiting for us!!  It was the PERFECT ending to our long journey!!  Thank you Lord for all you've done for us!!  "My God has supplied all our needs"

House update.......we are ALMOST THERE!!!

Well, the last house update was back in November.  We ended up on the news and the Senator even stepped in to help us after the house was being put up for auction.  Since then, after a ton of prayer- we finally received approval from the first mtg company; however, we could not move forward because we had to yet again get the 2nd mtg. holder to approve the sale again and it seemed like they were taking their time.

The biggest issue coming up was that our home inspection was expiring on January 10th and that would mean that we would have to pay another 450.00 to get it done again!  Our loan officer was able to get some type of extension on it but it would still cost us another 100.00!  It was obvious since yesterday was the 6th that we weren't going to be able to close by friday!

Last night before bed, I prayed and asked God to again take this over.  I asked him to please allow us to close before it expired so that we didn't have to waste anymore money!  

We received an email this morning from our loan officer stating that she re-calculated the days and our home inspection does not expire until the 16th!!!!  Then an hour ago I received another email from our attorney that the 2nd mtg. had been approved!!!  (talk about late in the midnight hour!) 

If  I've learned anything through this process it is  how important it is to have an ARMY of God's Children around us to pray for us!!  I know we had hundreds of people praying for us and our house situation and I am beyond thankful that Christ would give us so many amazing people in our lives who care so much about our well being......

We are ALMOST there!!!  Thank you LORD for answered prayers!!

Cooper Family 2013 Review...

So each year I like to write a little blog post, kinda like a New Years Letter to not only let our friends and family know about what we did last year but also to reflect on the things that God taught us in our lives this year.  No year is ever complete without having a learning experience from the Lord and for our family 2013 was JUST that!

Pumpkin (7), will be having her 8th birthday in almost 30 days!  She has shown a more grown up side this past year and I cannot believe she is no longer my little baby!  This year I have witnessed all our labor and hard work molding her into a child who LOVES the Lord, pay off!  She is very strong about telling people that she isn't allowed to do something that she knows mom and dad wouldn't approve of, she has become very honest to where I know I can believe whatever she tells me and I know she wouldn't tell a lie.  She is so helpful around the house and always completes her chores happily without complaint!  She is in 2nd grade this year and is doing so well with her work!  She is definitely better at spelling and math than I ever was!

Little Bear (6), is in first grade this year, she is doing really well in math and does all her work very well.  She is my little fashionista and is always designing new outfits and hairstyles for the other kids.  She has stepped up this year as my "little mommy."  She LOVES the babies and has a sweet way about her where they all just love her!  She loves to hold the baby and rock her, and speaks so sweetly to Goobies and helps with changing diapers without me asking her at all.  I've made a point to not ask them to change diapers or take care of the babies because I just feel that it is my job to do those things, but she loves to help with the babies.  She has also started to blossom as such an encourager.  She loves to make Nathan and I little notes here and there to tell us how much she loves us and cares about us.

Hobble-bobble (4) is starting to hear her conscience.  Used to be, when the little ones would start getting into things they shouldn't, she was right there next to them doing the same thing.  But now she come to us and tells us that they are doing wrong instead of joining in.  This year she is too young to do school with us so she does learning websites online.  She has actually learned to read this way!  She has started reading easy stuff and really enjoys learning.  She has been begging me to start Kindergarten this year but I'm determined to wait till she is 5 so that I can group her with Sweet-Pea and do K with both of them next year like I did with Pumpkin and Little Bear.

Sweet-pea (3) has had a blast playing in our new house!  She is OBSESSED with Twilight-sparkle on My Little Pony, and the color purple.  This kid would watch My Little Pony 24/7 if I let her!  She has started trying to be "mommy's little helper" especially when I'm in the kitchen.  She loves to feel like a big girl and loves to help make dinner and treats for the whole family!

Goobies (2) still has a love affair with her passy.  This child is the ONLY child I've had who was A. attached to a passy, and B. had one past 1 year.  When she turned 1, she picked up a passy that she found one day and I haven't been able to get it away from her since.  This coming year we will be starting to phase out her passy!  She is also in the temper tantrum stage.  She HATES to be told no and it begins with a soft whine and ends with  full out spread eagle on the floor!  LOL  Gotta love the two's!
Baby Dumplin' (4mo) is doing great!  She is still nursing and growing.  She has taken a love to a new bear lovey we bought her for Christmas and will sleep well as long as it is touching her cheek.  She is sleeping through the night now and has recently put herself on a every three hour schedule with her feedings.  She is itching to sit up and look around so she also got a bumbo seat for Christmas as well to help her with that longing.


Nathan & I are doing great, our marriage is wonderful and our love for each other grows with each passing day.  His back pain is off and on now- some days it seems under control but others he is in a lot of pain.  We've been researching other natural remedies to help him with it and are still in the process of that.  I will be starting classes back through LU Online in a few weeks and looking forward to continuing my degree.

Our family has gone through a ton to ups and downs this year with trying to purchase our new house, but we've also seen God do so many miracles in the process.  We put the initial contract on it in October of 2012, and had to have that contract re-approved three times.  It was even put on the auction block and we were only notified 24 hours before hand.  We were on Channel 6 news twice and Senator Tim Kain stepped in to help us save the house!  Only God could have made all that happen for us!  Our girls were able to watch God's hand at work this year as we prayed as a family daily, asking God to give us this home and one by one he answered each and every one of them!  We still have yet to close on the house, but we've been living here for 4 months now!  We have complete faith that God will make this happen for us in 2014!  If there is anything we've learned this year about the Lord it is that he is FAITHFUL!  God WILL supply all of our needs!  HIS plan is the best plan, not our own.  But most importantly we've had to learn to let go of our own plans and realize that God is always in control...good, or bad, we are always right where he wants us to be right when we need to be there!!  After three years of heart ache, and even at times (for me) questioning if God was even hearing me, He has shown his face to us this year!  Any doubts I ever had about God before have all been blown away this year.  Through everything we've gone through we just kept holding on and saying and believing that "God is in Control!"   And thank GOD that he was!

We are looking forward to 2014- we KNOW that God has HUGE plans in store for us again this year, and even though those plans may not be our plans, or what we would like to happen in our lives, we know that His way, is the BEST way!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!